Losing Weight=Change In Sex

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Andy_Whorewall, Aug 29, 2009.

  1. D_Andy_Whorewall

    D_Andy_Whorewall Account Disabled

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    My wife recently lost 30+ pounds ( good for her )...in doing so our sex life has changed.The first thing I've noticed is that her breasts are smaller ( doesn't bother me) .The other is the fat pad above he pussy is gone, she's now very boney.

    I have also noticed that sex "feels" different as well...the way my cock is in her and the lack of sexual response she has, she's having a hard time orgasming.

    The last couple times we had sex, she just felt "different" inside....it was like fucking a stranger. Have any women out there experienced any changes after losing weight ?

    After 26 years of being together, you notice changes...
     
  2. B_Dustydo

    B_Dustydo New Member

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    Well first up congratulations to your wife for losing the weight. That is excellent!
    If she has been dieting fairly hard her energy levels would be low and that would translate into a lack of desire.

    You haven't said how or if you have been supporting her weight loss or if you've been been a flattering, encouraging spouse?
     
  3. Belly_Dancer

    Belly_Dancer Member

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    My weight has fluctuated by as much as 30 pounds several times, and I've never noticed any difference in how sex "feels." Nor have I been told by a partner that I felt different to him.

    I do notice that the amount of fat on my mound does change, but even at my lower weights it's still fairly soft, not bony. I've never had a complaint.

    As to changes in arousal, if anything, when I am at an attractive weight, it is easier for me to get aroused because I feel sexier and more confident in my body.

    When I have had problems with arousal it has not had to do with weight loss. It has had to do with three factors:

    1) Medications (antidepressants, ADHD drugs)
    2) Interpersonal conflict in the relationship
    3) Not feeling very attracted to the man

    Could any of those factors be contributing to your wife's decreased libido?
     
  4. MarkLondon

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    Hmm, after 26 years your wife suddenly sheds more than 30lbs? That's a dramatic change. Is it possible she's having a mid-life desirability crisis?

    Did your wife need to lose that much weight? I thought ladies were meant to have a pubic pad and not be too "bony" down there.
     
  5. D_Andy_Whorewall

    D_Andy_Whorewall Account Disabled

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    I very much support her and it has rekindled a spark in both of us. She knew she should lose weight for years, but it had to be on her terms, I never pushed her or told her otherwise.

    She is much more self assure and focused and I applaud her. There have been no medications introduced, nor does she drink or smoke. I've just noticed thst sex feels different, not as wet, and she doesn't seem to be as aroused as before.

    Could just be me....
     
  6. MarkLondon

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    Well it is possible that the new slimness has lead to an overall fall in oestrogen levels. I understand that can affect the feel and responsiveness of a pussy.

    Apparently the gonads are not the only source of sex-hormones in the body. Fat tissue produces oestrogen precursors and lean tissue (muscles) produce androgens. I know about this from being interested the effects of exercise in males.

    So that's a hypothetical reason for the changes you've both experienced. Not sure what you can do about that unless some of the ladies can recommend a safe healthy way of boosting oestrogen levels that doesn't involve putting weight back on.
     
  7. Symphonic

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    If she was of a healthy weight and lost fat in "all the wrong places" then she isn't going to be healthy anymore. Exercise and toning up were probably better options.
     
  8. FlowerChick

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    I agree with "consensual slave," and want to add some additional comments.

    You didn't say if your wife really wanted to lose the weight. I lost 30 pounds after starting a new prescription of Topamax (an anti-seizure medication Migraine Prevention Medication, Medicine: TOPAMAX (topiramate)). It is often prescribed off-label as a headache prophylactic. I lost this weight over about six to eight months during a stressful depresssed period in my marriage. I didn't do any exercises either, just started at 50 mg daily, and dosed up the drug to 150 mg daily.

    i noticed my breasts are larger with the added weight, and when I lost the 30 pounds while on Topamax, (down to about a women's Size 6, 117# at 5.3") my breasts were not nearly as large, plump, full, etc.

    Your wife may not like the side effects of weight loss, desired or not. on medication or not. While weight loss may be healthier for her physically, it may be that she is having some "image" confidence problems going on mentally.

    I would certainly take steps to support her and her decision and weight loss outcome, for whatever reason, reassure her that you love her body no matter the shape. Once the two of you are on the same page with these feelings, I suspect your sex lives will improve.

    For me I'm happiest when I'm comfortable with my body. What average American woman over 30 years of age couldn't lose a few pounds really. The same is true for men. Accepting who you are physically, recognizing limitations, one's abilities, is IMO going to enhance your sexuality with the one you love.

    I slowly gained my weight back over time, and I now no longer use the drug. I can't deny, however, I was secretly thrilled with the surprising weight loss side effect. My neurologist threatened to take me off the medication at one point due to significant weight loss. Topamax curbed my appetite, and I lost weight as a result. It may have helped my headaches, but removing the stress in my life was really the best thing all around. That alone lead to some pretty powerful changes in my body, physically and emotionally, and my life has changed on so many levels for the best.

    FlowerChick
     
    #8 FlowerChick, Aug 31, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2009
  9. dolfette

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    yup, like the others said.
    did she lose too much weight?
    the fashion now is emaciated. all the holywood starlets are doing it. well dressed, elegant skeletons.

    or.
    is her diet short in some vitamin/mineral/nutrient?

    or.
    the weight loss could just be coincidentally coinciding with another health problem developing, and the real problem could have nothing to do with the weight loss.
     
  10. StraightCock4Her

    StraightCock4Her New Member

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    Yea, it sounds like she went from a healthy weight to an unhealthy weight. Maybe she should pack on 5 lbs and see if that helps.
     
  11. helgaleena

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    Nutrition is very important, and so are Kegel exercises.

    When I began to slim down in my 50s I noticed my abdomen wanted to get very floppy like an empty bag if I did not keep 'active' with my inner muscles.

    Make certain she is getting enough folic acid. Folic acid deficiency often masquerades as anemia. It also contributes to a sexy full upper lip. Chronic folic acid deficiency will make an upper lip thin and like a line before it needs to be that way.
     
  12. Principessa

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    You've been together 26 years, which if you got married at 20 means she is about 46. She could be perimenopausal which would mean a change in her hormonal levels, wetness and sexual desire.

    Perimenopause causes some subtle — and some not-so-subtle — changes in your body. Some things you might experience include:
    • Menstrual irregularity. As ovulation becomes more erratic, the intervals between periods may be longer or shorter, your flow may be scanty to profuse, and you may skip some periods.
    • Hot flashes and sleep problems. About 65 to 75 percent of women experience hot flashes during perimenopause. Their intensity, duration and frequency vary. Sleep problems are often due to hot flashes or night sweats, but sometimes sleep becomes erratic even without them.
    • Mood changes. Some women experience mood swings, irritability or depression during perimenopause, but the cause of these symptoms may be sleep disruption or other menopausal symptoms rather than the hormonal changes of menopause.
    • Vaginal and bladder problems. When estrogen levels diminish, your vaginal tissues may lose lubrication and elasticity, making intercourse painful. Low estrogen levels may also leave you more vulnerable to urinary or vaginal infections. Loss of tissue tone may contribute to urinary incontinence.
    • Decreasing fertility. As ovulation becomes irregular, your ability to conceive decreases. However, as long as you're having periods, pregnancy remains a possibility. If that's not what you want, use birth control until you've had no periods for 12 months.
    • Changes in sexual function. During perimenopause, sexual arousal and desire may change. But for most women who had satisfactory sexual intimacy before menopause, this will continue through perimenopause and beyond.
    • Loss of bone. With declining estrogen levels, you start to lose bone more quickly than you replace it, increasing your risk of osteoporosis.
    • Changing cholesterol levels. Declining estrogen levels may lead to unfavorable changes in your blood cholesterol levels, including an increase in low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol — the "bad" cholesterol — which contributes to an increased risk of heart disease. At the same time, high-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol — the "good" cholesterol — decreases in many women as they age, which also increases the risk of heart disease.
    When to see a doctor
    Some women seek medical attention for their perimenopause symptoms. But others either tolerate the changes or simply don't experience symptoms severe enough to warrant attention. Because subtle symptoms may come on gradually, you may not realize at first that they're all connected to the same thing — declining and fluctuating levels of estrogen and progesterone.

    If you do experience symptoms that interfere with your life or well-being, such as hot flashes, mood swings or changes in sexual function that concern you, see your doctor.
     
  13. helgaleena

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    Yes, that is very likely, njqt466.
     
  14. D_Andy_Whorewall

    D_Andy_Whorewall Account Disabled

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    Appreciate the feedback....and not to be rude, but yes she did need to lose the weight, she wants to get another 10 off, which I applaud. She really looks good, feels better and is more confident. She now has a glow about her, that I hadn't see in years past.

    Now that the kids are more or less grown and on their own, she's devoted more time to herself. She walks alot, does yoga and watches everything she eats. She's not really on medication. I've just noticed changes, subtle as they are.

    Well, we were alone tonight after work, no kids, so we took advantage, and NO regrets. She was much more lubricated and responded much like usual. I asked her if she felt different tonight than our last encounter, and she said she could have been dehydrated before.

    She usually initiates sex, so when she's ready, I take it she's ready, and don't ask questions. I never thought about her being pre-menopausal...she will be 49 this year.

    I aim to please her and if she's not enjoying the trip, the mission was not a success in my opinion.
     
  15. helgaleena

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    You sound like a very lucky man-- and wife.
     
  16. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    i think what most people don't realize is that exercise releases endorphins into your body so you feel better and are more energetic. that's probably why you and the wife are having so much fun :wink: anyway, congrats to your wife on her weight loss! i can understand what you mean by noticing a change in your sex life and i'm happy for the both of you.
     
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