Loss of sex drive (ed) due to high anxiety..

Zackattack87

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Been lurking on these forums for sometime but thought I’d finally reach out as I can seriously use some advice.

I’m in a newly found relationship with this girl I’ve been seeing for a month and we just had 1st exp and I was unresponsive down there.. despite the embarrassment that entails I was able to make her cum twice by fingering then eating her out. It’s been awhile since I’ve been active but I use to have such a high sex drive and get hard on command. There’s some pretty obvious things at play though like anxiety lately that plagues me which comes with shortness of breathe heart racing. When we 1st met I would get instant boners just kissing. Now it can often feel like I’m in shock or frozen.

I’m at a lost I can jo just fine, though lately I’ve been feeling less horny over all, it all feels too soon for ed:( (I’m only 31) are there any over the counter sups I can take at gnc or leap into viagra? I’d hate for something like this to end a good relationship
 

Zackattack87

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I haven’t yet brought it up to my doctor. But generally I’d say I’m pretty healthy no meds and yes when I jo it is to porn which I’m sure that plays a part. I use to be so horny that anything got me hard, So I was pretty taken back my nerves got the best of me so I’m at a lost. But lately I’ve had mood swings so it for sure be something els.

im hoping a week of abstinence, and gym helps. I will work on my imagination. I’m suppose to meet later this week so hoping that works.. any over the counter supplements you recommend?
 

ohiorod

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It sounds like you are looking for a magic pill or supplement; I’m not sure that exists in your case without seeing a doctor. Clearly, the anxiety and mood swings are telling you something about your body. I suggest seeing your doctor and possibly a therapist .
 

randomed

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Mate. No need for the rush to the docs. First, are you able to wank with a full hard on? Be it watching porn, fantasizing or whatever. Do you still get spontaneous boners? If you could still achieve full erections, it's definitely not ED mate. It is just the nerves. Relax and time will make it better. Trust me. You are fine mate.
 

Frodo46888

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Mate. No need for the rush to the docs. First, are you able to wank with a full hard on? Be it watching porn, fantasizing or whatever. Do you still get spontaneous boners? If you could still achieve full erections, it's definitely not ED mate. It is just the nerves. Relax and time will make it better. Trust me. You are fine mate.
If the answers to the above questions are "yes", then it may be performance anxiety. It's a very real problem to people in all sorts of situations, and if you can't overcome it on your own you may find professional counseling from a licensed therapist to be helpful. (You don't have to be crazy to see a therapist!)
 

ItsAll4Kim

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I haven’t yet brought it up to my doctor. But generally I’d say I’m pretty healthy no meds and yes when I jo it is to porn which I’m sure that plays a part. I use to be so horny that anything got me hard, So I was pretty taken back my nerves got the best of me so I’m at a lost. But lately I’ve had mood swings so it for sure be something els.

im hoping a week of abstinence, and gym helps. I will work on my imagination. I’m suppose to meet later this week so hoping that works.. any over the counter supplements you recommend?

Do you see what you're writing? You're having anxiety or panic attacks, but are hoping something that does nothing to relieve anxiety will bring the boners back. It doesn't work that way.

Find out the cause of your anxiety. Work on fixing that. Once you are no longer anxious, see if the erections return to normal. If not, then talk toy your doctor about getting a urology referral for ED.
 
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deleted484273

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Are you having anxiety attacks when you know you’re going to see her or is it anxiety attacks at any point of the day? I’ve had anxiety and panic attacks for 15 years straight but no problems with boners while I was in my thirties
 
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deleted484273

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40 however... I’ve noticed some softening
 

Zackattack87

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No I can confirm I still get boners from porn and can finish, requires more work these days. Im pretty sure it is performance anxiety. I do feel nervous around her time to time. Just kissing and her touching me at 1st would turn me on in the moment, but then a slight mind distraction and suddenly I’ll shut down. I’d question if I’m attracted to her or I’m not allowing myself to be for whatever reason. Wouldn’t want her to think I’m not :(

This doesn’t seem to be the issue with less attractive girls or spontaneous flings where the stakes are low..I’m assuming that’s because I haven’t had time to overthink it. Either way I’m hoping if I withhold from porn, go back to lifting this week, I’ll be too horny to contain.

But I assume a therapist won’t hurt either ..

Appreciate the advice though
 

SmallDguy

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This happens to me with new sex partners. Mine is performance anxiety and size anxiety. Same exact thing happens. I usually just drink a Lil beer (3 or 4) or pop half a xanax bar and try not to get all in my head beforehand.
 
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502855

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It sounds like it’s the stakes being higher that is inducing the anxiety... if you can, try to talk it through with the girl.... that she means allot to you, you don’t want to mess it up, and are having trouble relaxing and not staying in your head when sex is initiated.

Had a friend, late 20s with similar issues in a new relationship. Talking helped him thru it.
 

hammer75

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Been lurking on these forums for sometime but thought I’d finally reach out as I can seriously use some advice.

I’m in a newly found relationship with this girl I’ve been seeing for a month and we just had 1st exp and I was unresponsive down there.. despite the embarrassment that entails I was able to make her cum twice by fingering then eating her out. It’s been awhile since I’ve been active but I use to have such a high sex drive and get hard on command. There’s some pretty obvious things at play though like anxiety lately that plagues me which comes with shortness of breathe heart racing. When we 1st met I would get instant boners just kissing. Now it can often feel like I’m in shock or frozen.

I’m at a lost I can jo just fine, though lately I’ve been feeling less horny over all, it all feels too soon for ed:( (I’m only 31) are there any over the counter sups I can take at gnc or leap into viagra? I’d hate for something like this to end a good relationship
. Once my wife told me she would have preferred that i was much larger my struggle with ed problems came back to the surface. I struggled with ed bad with my ex wife as well, similar issue but she had a lot less tact and compassion. I can get fully hard watching porn or looking at content on here but with her, no matter the position, i am usually a wet noodle. I also have some health issues but i think the larger problem is mental. I would suggest getting your head sorted out and if you go into supplements stay natural. My doc wants me to get healthier before even trying viagra, cost and my age play into that, so i know what i can try to do. Be proactive :)
 
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deleted484273

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The brain is amazing. Many parts of the body have to work in concert to achieve an erection and the brain controls all of it