- Joined
- Jan 4, 2019
- Posts
- 17
- Media
- 0
- Likes
- 36
- Points
- 23
- Location
- Gold Coast (Queensland, Australia)
- Sexuality
- 90% Straight, 10% Gay
- Gender
- Male
I write this to share my thoughts. In recent times it was discovered that I had a large tumour consuming the base of my spine and following amazing surgery and wonderful skills performed by my medical team no one looking at me is aware that anything was actually wrong with me. I could have landed up as a cripple, I could have in fact died during surgery, I am extremely fortunate. The “unseen” outcome of the surgery apart from removal of the tumour is that I have no feelings internally and externally from hip level to top of the legs. I have to be catheterised to pass water and I technically have no control over bowel functions. I am able however to manage everything well and life is good.
You will of course realise from what I have said that I have no sexual functions or feelings. A small price to pay for survival but as time goes on I miss what I can’t do and feel any more. My mind is becoming more and more active thinking back to the past. I look at my penis and it seems to small having shrunk back into my body. I long to feel a strong hard cock in my hand, I long to feel the sensation of a climax building up throughout my body and for the release of semen as it pulses out.
I used to enjoy going for massages and the extras that went with them. I have not been bold enough to venture there again. Embarrassment, fear of making a mess, problems of explaining myself…. so I don’t go.
I have spoken with a counsellor about my feelings and he suggests that I am experiencing grief about what I no longer have, about what I can no longer do.
I know that I am doing extremely well and incredibly fortunate and there are many other men who are in situations far worse than I am. There are also many men of my age who have the same problems brought about by physical deterioration of their bodies.
I have written this wondering if there are others who have a story to share about loss of bodily and sexual functions and the games that their minds play as a result.
Thanks for reading this.
You will of course realise from what I have said that I have no sexual functions or feelings. A small price to pay for survival but as time goes on I miss what I can’t do and feel any more. My mind is becoming more and more active thinking back to the past. I look at my penis and it seems to small having shrunk back into my body. I long to feel a strong hard cock in my hand, I long to feel the sensation of a climax building up throughout my body and for the release of semen as it pulses out.
I used to enjoy going for massages and the extras that went with them. I have not been bold enough to venture there again. Embarrassment, fear of making a mess, problems of explaining myself…. so I don’t go.
I have spoken with a counsellor about my feelings and he suggests that I am experiencing grief about what I no longer have, about what I can no longer do.
I know that I am doing extremely well and incredibly fortunate and there are many other men who are in situations far worse than I am. There are also many men of my age who have the same problems brought about by physical deterioration of their bodies.
I have written this wondering if there are others who have a story to share about loss of bodily and sexual functions and the games that their minds play as a result.
Thanks for reading this.