Lost pal due to size...

[lellelind]

One of my closest and best friends is a guy who use to date my sister five years ago. Ever since that me and him go along like brothers and he really is my best pal.

A few months back we went to the bath house for a swim. Ever sinse that he stoped calling me regulary and I don't see him much often these days. From that day, at the bath house, there is a great change in our rellation.

I tryed to ask him what has happened but he don't wanna answer or he doesn't seem to understand why I'm asking.

It hits me that he'd never seen me nude before so I'm wondering if he got jealous 'cause I'm very hung (a shower) and that's why he don't wanna associate with me no more. Or maybe he found me disgusting or like a freak or something like that?

I can't think of any other reason for his behavor.

What do you think? Similar experiences?

 

[13788]

H8Monga: [quote author=lellelind link=board=relationships;num=1051545218;start=0#0 date=04/28/03 at 08:53:38]What do you think? [/quote]

That is an awful experience. I would never stop talking to any of my friends or stop being a friend just because he was was bigger.

He won't talk at all or just won't answer your questions? You may not have lost him if he is a true friend, but he may feel really bad about himself and may be embarrassed to talk about it. Specifically what did you ask him?

 

[lellelind]

I asked him if he got in to some kind of trouble. If he's ill. If there is a problem with anything.
I never brought up our day at the bath house and the fact that he saw me nude. I do not want to believe that is the matter even though I think so.
He can't answer. He's awoiding all my Q's in that matter.

 

[lellelind]

but he may feel really bad about himself and may be embarrassed

Why would he feel bad?
He knows he is loved!

 

[13788]

BIGBOYDAVE: Two Questions
#1 Are you talking a gay bathhouse or public pool?
#2 Are either or both Bi or Gay?

Suggestion

Since you think it could be your size that's bothering him. Be direct and ask him about it.
Sometimes openness in discussion about so called taboo topics IE: dick size can cause embarrassment but its best to just approach him on it.
If your friendship is as strong as you believe and you want to continue it then you should be able to talk openly about any subject including penis size.

 

[lellelind]

1. Public pool.
2. He's very straight. I'm Bi, and he knows it from five years ago!

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

Pardon if this sounds harsh but it's been subtly hinted to thus far: It's strange to see your friend's strong adverse reaction simply because he caught you nude. It wasn't a deliberate effort; you didn't set out to go to the bath house to embarrass him or to berate his masculinity per penis size. You didn't come onto him or put him in an uncomfortable position.

I'll be honest. If I had a friend that wigged out over something so unbearably insignificant, I really don't see myself as losing much, you know? My friends don't take petty things like that so seriously.

 

[13788]

tott666: Have you thought about other explanations?

He might've plunged into a depression or may be going through some tough times because of other things? Some things he might not be ready/able to include you in?

I understand that you try to connect the dots from your end, but there should be some other explanation than simply size? I hope there is!

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

If the 'break-up' was really that abrupt, he has bigger issues than just penis envy. You can't help him if he won't let you; let him face his demons alone in his own way. Maybe he'll see that you're too valuable a friend to lose. If he doesn't, well then he's not too valuable a friend to let go of. It sucks that it sometimes turns out this way, but we all survive lost friendships.

 

[lellelind]

He might've plunged into a depression or may be going through some tough times because of other things? Some things he might not be ready/able to include you in?

I gave it a brief thought but I didn't think it was something like that. Not from the relationship we have/had.
I'll give that thought another chanse! I hope you're right 'cause I don't wanna lose him just because I'm horse hung and he's average. I like him too much for that to happen. He is just like my very own brother.

I guess I just have to sit and wait for him to "come back".

Thanks for all the answers!

 

[13788]

BIGBOYDAVE: [quote author=lellelind link=board=relationships;num=1051545218;start=0#9 date=04/29/03 at 12:04:48]

I guess I just have to sit and wait for him to "come back".

If You value your friendship that much Don't sit and wait go to him Be direct lay it all on the line tell him you feel something is wrong and you don't know what tell him you think it might have something to do with your size, as that is what you feel.
You owe it to yourself and to him to get things clear and out in the open.
Try one last time but don't sit on it otherwise you might be waiting a long time and still be left wondering is it you or is it him!

 

[13788]

ace420: I have lost at least six friends because of my size. I am at a loss to explain this reaction. I never made fun or showed off my size.

People are just strange I guess.

 

[13788]

H8Monga: Ace, I'm sorry. I can't understand that at all. People know I can be jealous, but I can't understand those who would end a friendship over it. That's like ending a friendship because someone has better hair than you do, better math skills, anything... it's not like you tried to murder or rape your friends or other people, for that I can see someone ending a friendship.

 

[13788]

Javierdude22: [quote author=Hapi Papi link=board=relationships;num=1051545218;start=12#12 date=05/06/03 at 21:10:41]it's not like you tried to murder or rape your friends or other people, for that I can see someone ending a friendship.[/quote].


....yikes....dude.....well....id end the friendship among other thing then yes....

 

[13788]

aussiechick63: And you guys thought women were jealous and bitchy!!

Let me tell you anyone that didn't want to be my friend because of the size of some body part is just not worth having as a friend.

I know sometimes friendships have to be worked at, they go through difficult times as well, but I wouldn't even bother trying in a friendship like that. Those people aren't worth your time effort or love. And I use love in a friendship form.

Move on, there are plenty of people that will treasure your friendship and the good times you can have together.

In a friendship I am totally loyal to my friends and I expect the same in return. Anything less is just not on.

I'm just amazed that you can lose friends over something like that. Their loss guys not yours.

 

[13788]

brad2002: Speaking of big, it takes a pretty big ego to think that your best friend might be avoiding you because of your cock. You know what happens when you assume. ASS - U - ME! Do everything to reconnect with your friend, but don't mention your dick. You'll never live down the embarrassment after realizing just how wrong u were.

 

[kurios]

Sometimes finding out some thing about some one you have known quite a while sorta makes you step back a bit more from surprise.
A guy I worked with and knew really well was quite shy when it came to nudity and always kept his shorts on to swim even when I didnt.  There was never any buldge of any kind so I just thought he wasnt packing very much. One day we were kinda forced to shower at the same time and when he turned around I just about flipped.  This guy would not have been out of place in a stable.
I wasnt jealous cause Im big enough but I was curious and I felt funny like he had kept a secret from me which was stupid I know,  I felt decieved and was a bit distant for a week or so until I realised how silly I was being.
We are good friends again and joke about the inches we pack together.
It was sort of like a friend that overlooked telling you that he was really a millionaire.

 

[lellelind]

Now I finally found out why he was avoiding me for such a long time. He simply got horny for me (my dick) and he got affraid of his own feelings. That's why he stayed away from me.

We talked it out a few weeks ago and now everything seems to be fine

 

[13788]

sudas: I'm glad he worked it out. I've heard of that happening before, like some kind of hero-worship.

When I saw this thread, I was going to add my two cents. That is, many guys get shrinkage at the pool. If you are still large, then maybe he thought you were semi-erect. That he knew you were bi, may have made him think you were coming-on to him. Even though this doesn't apply in your case, as stated, maybe it will apply to someone else.

 

[13788]

jackinman: [quote author=lellelind link=board=relationships;num=1051545218;start=0#17 date=08/30/03 at 08:01:24]Now I finally found out why he was avoiding me for such a long time. He simply got horny for me (my dick) and he got affraid of his own feelings. That's why he stayed away from me.

We talked it out a few weeks ago and now everything seems to be fine [/quote]

Hey lellelind, good to hear from you again and I'm very glad that you guys were able to works things work man.
You might want to help out bih20, he is having similar problems with a friend of his. His post is "can comparing ruin friendships".