Lost - Where to go from here

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Rikter8, Dec 6, 2009.

  1. Rikter8

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    So... I've gone through college. Graduated with a Bachelors in Business.
    And....i've been working in a job, which I don't really like for 10 years completely un-related to any fields of my interest.
    I know how to do a little of everything, and some things better than others.

    I feel like i'm at another crossroad in life, where I need to choose a direction.
    My Job will be ending soon - and I've been told that up front.
    I now have no ties to this home, and with a hopeful spring market, I plan on putting this up for sale and moving.

    I guess I'm still trapped in that "Shell" of going to school, going to work...repetitive schedule that was predictable. Now, having to step out into the world and say..here I am - I'm not quite sure how to proceed.

    I do know, that I do not want to live a double life any longer. For my own sake, I gotta be me!

    How does one find thyself to know what and where they will be happiest?
    How did you choose your career path, and how did you match your income to your needs?
     
  2. nudeyorker

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    You know you have asked a few question and answer type questions and I really only have essay type answers. I would really like to sleep on my response to you. I just really don't have a good answer right now. I have been at a crossroads with life about every 10 years and what worked for me may not be the best advice I could give you. I do know that from your posts from the past couple of years you have had very challenging circumstances. Bear with me I would like to give your post some serious thought before I respond.
     
  3. rob_just_rob

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    Have you considered becoming a pirate?

    OK - seriously now. I have never really loved the work I do - I like it, and it pays the bills, and it's interesting enough that I am not usually bored. But I've never been one who lived to work, and I don't know many people who achieve any semblence of self-actualization through their work. I'm not saying that can't happen, but it's a lot rarer than the career counsellors would have you believe.

    My view is that the peripheral things make a job desirable, rather than the work itself. Location, the people you work with, things like that. Choose a place you'd like to be, and then find out what niche you can fill there.

    Maybe not what you wanted here, but my 2 cents.
     
  4. Viking_UK

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    Three questions: what's your dream job? Would you be good at it? Would it pay your bills?

    If the answer to the last two is yes, go for it. If not, find something interesting and challenging that's rewarding and pays your bills.
     
  5. nudeyorker

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    There are really too many variables about you that I don't know. If you have no commitments to anyone i.e. children or a spouse than I would say pick up your bags and follow your heart. That aside if you do than be honest with yourself and your commitments and share your feelings with them. What worked for me may not be the best advice I can give you. When I was at the most compelling crossroads in my life someone told me "Sometimes you have to be willing to swim and loose sight of the shore to find the distant land where you belong." But I don't know what you have on the familiar shore that you will loose and I'm not really sure what you are looking for on the distant shore. In the end we all only have one life and if we are happy we have lived the best life possible.
    All of that said I don't know if my own meanderings and misadventures can put any perspective on your situation.
    But we all only have one life and deserve to wake up happy and go to sleep knowing that we have done the best we can.
    If you can give me more than the abstract details of the situation I will try to think of something other than abstract advice I have given.
     
  6. petergroot

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    If you have no ties, have some technical(not absolutely essential) aptitude/experience, want excitement and money? Go to sea. Consider it seriously, maybe offshore oil indutry. Its not for everyone,'but you don't sit in trafic. it's not a nine to five.
     
  7. SpeedoMike

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    seriously check all options before selling house or moving halfway cross country. make an educated change or you might begin feeling the new job is a drag.

    I was in the employment field for most of my career and one candidate said "teaching just isn't for me and after two years, I want to get into something less hectic like personnel. :slomo:
     
  8. Rikter8

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    Thank you all for the advice and thoughts so far.

    Nude, let me try to fine tune the details a bit.
    There's probably more to it than I even realize, but I can try to put it into words.

    When I say i really don't know what I want to do, it's because I've lost sight of what I truely like and don't like. It could be depression. It could be the fact that I've been doing the same job for 10+ years with dull moments. I'm not sure what I would like to do really. When I ask myself "What do you Like", I draw a blank.

    It's like I've been in this box for all these years, and not sure what's out there, and how to go and get it.

    Night after night, I browse the net. Not sure exactly what im looking for.
    A companion, a life outside of here, living through youtube.
    I do get hung up on the chatrooms here, youtube watching funny stuff, or Gay Pride parades, or Large disco concerts. I watch the people. They seem so happy. So free to do what they want. Is it all fake?
    I look at the vacation videos and see so much through the computer screen, but nothing outside the house door.

    I've somewhat narrowed in that I should go into I.T. as it's what I'm fairly good at. I own my own side business, it's not really lucrative...but I tire easily from some of my customers issues " Whats a mouse?".
    If I were to work in I.T. It would be with a company, so I didn't have the endless phonecalls at home.

    Could I handle that until retirement? Probably.
    I'd much rather race cars for a living, but i'm sure that wouldnt pay the bills.
    I'm a fairly good mechanic, and love creating new stuff from the ground up. But how to find a job that could spark the hobbyist in me.

    Those are probably the only two things i'm passionate about, besides decorating homes for the holidays.
    None of which would pay bills to self sustain.

    That's why the original post asked how a person found their career path.

    Rob, Point well taken. I don't expect to be a smiling bob going into work everyday. Every job has its ups and downs, and I can accept that. But when it's a job that isn't even interesting to you it just drives you batty.
    I know what your saying though. I've tried to make this job interesting, but after 10 years...it just gets old. Average employee turnaround in my job is 2 years.

    I guess I wished I had the care free mentality to just be spontaneous and dive in. I think what I have learned about myself, is that I like stability.
    The worst that could happen is I end up homeless, or dead.

    I called the university to ask for a career counselor and they looked at me funny, like "You have a degree and you want to see a Career counselor??"

    I'm probably more confused than anything (Normal for me).
    Just not sure where to start, and at what point to grab the reins and say... "It's my life now...this is what I'm going to do."
     
  9. Rikter8

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    Too funny - If they only knew what goes on.
     
  10. Notthe7

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    I've thought of this being me in the future. My degree isn't good for much else besides Law School. If that doesn't work out what do I do? A good friend of mine majored in business, graduated and guess what he is doing now? DJ's and does Porn. Don't need a degree for that. Seems a lot happier too.
     
  11. whatireallywant

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    I'm struggling with the same thing, and I'm 46! :eek:

    I have two college degrees, one of which I've only used to get an unrelated job that simply requires a bachelor's degree, and the other I've actually used for a related job. However, I don't have enough skills for a lot of the jobs out there, especially in IT, which is what my background is in. I'm kind of switching from software to hardware because there are entry level jobs in tech support, but in development all there are are very senior level jobs that are well above my skill level (and they DO fire you if you don't meet their skill level - I've been fired twice for that very thing!)

    What's worse is that I've been unemployed off and on, and work low paying temp jobs when I can find one, so I work myself to exhaustion and still don't make enough money to pay the bills. I have been working and taking a class for the past few months (for the tech support jobs), and for the next few months I'll have two jobs. And I get no paid vacation or anything, so I've literally gone for 4 years with no time off - when I'm unemployed I have to spend all my time looking for work. I get depressed and exhausted a lot. I do spend some time here, and elsewhere online, because it's pretty much the only thing I do to wind down.

    Thing is, I like IT work. I just need to find a good fit for my skill level where they won't expect me to be at a higher level than I am. And I can't afford to go back to school anyway - I'm not eligible for any financial aid except loans, because I have a bachelor's degree already. And I don't want to owe any more money than I already do! Plus working and going to school both is very exhausting.
     
  12. Rikter8

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    I hate software - and that's where the majority of the money is.

    Im a hardware guy.
    I have the next two weeks off. I'm planniing on finishing up my certification, and hunting heavily for a job of some sort.

    I'm about ready to come out of my skin from my current job. So many vendictive people sticking their nose in your work trying to make themselves look good.
    It's mentally and physically exhausting.

    The main problem is being so depressed that you physically cant function anymore (Burnout), that you don't know what you like. You dont know what you want to do, nor what you should do. That's how I have felt for the last 5 or so years.
    Now, I could actually give a shit less if I loose my job, just because it would put an end to pain and suffering.

    But...would only cause more grief and join the 50% odd people unemployed in this god forsaken state.
     
  13. Dave NoCal

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    Rikter, it seems to me that there are a number of viable directions you could go. Right now you are young and have few obligations. If you have a bit of money saved up you could move somewhere appealing and, I'm sure, live simply find work to tide you over while you get some space and perspective. For example, you can do mechanical work and seem to really like it. I don't know too much about the work prospects but it seems kind of like nursing where you can work wherever you go. I have a neighbor who manages (owns?) a company that converts vans for wheelchair accessibility. A few years ago he was looking for people who could do that, including precision welding and offering to pay $40.00 per hour. If fabrication is something you do, I could see you at a hot rod or motorcycle shop, at least for a while.
    You are a gifted guy and I'm sure you can find a way to make a living in a location that is a better fit for for you.
    Dave
     
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