Love and Arousal

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Goofyjits, May 16, 2011.

  1. Goofyjits

    Goofyjits New Member

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    My gf and I were talking last night after making love, and we got to talking about how wet she gets during sex. She mentioned that before meeting me she never got aroused, and that she was as dry as a desert with the men she had been with before. It was bad enough for her to believe that she had some kind of condition medically. But, with me it's different.

    This leads me to my question. Ladies, do you find that when you're in love that you get more aroused, and have any of you ever had a similar experience?
     
  2. sexualnapalm

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    I absolutely think emotions can make arousal more intense. I think it can also make sex better. It puts a different spin on sex when emotions get involved, so it means more. It's no longer just sex, but as you put it making love.

    Kudos to you!
     
  3. EllieP

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    I would not even think about having sex with someone with which I'm emotionally detached.
     
  4. Intrigue

    Intrigue New Member

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    I agree entirely, when there are times me and the mrs disconnect, as some might call it, the fire dies until we can reconnect on an emotional level. Were both pretty cerebral about it or emotional I guess. Not sure which it is really...
     
  5. dolfette

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    no, i can get aroused by people i don't even like.

    physical arousal is there to avoid injury.
    you're less likely to tear if you're wet.
    so lots of women will get physically aroused,
    even when they don't actually want sex.

    the rapists' cliché:
    i could tell she was loving it really!

    i think it's important to point this out.
     
  6. Intrigue

    Intrigue New Member

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    Yes I agree, sometimes the body can and will respond despite the mental state of the person. Such as what you were talking about, rape. But that doesn't apply to the OP I believe.
     
  7. Not_Punny

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    I love to get aroused.

    Oh, that wasn't the meaning of the thread. My bad.
     
  8. sexualnapalm

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    this. :lmao:
     
  9. D_Bessie Mae Mucho

    D_Bessie Mae Mucho New Member

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    I feel like u have to have an emotional connection with the guy before he can arouse you, I mean you can enjoy chatting with a guy but if youre not into him theres no way in hell you will get aroused
     
  10. dolfette

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    ^^see? that's why i made my post. because there are so many people who believe this rot. which leaves anyone who just has the natural physical responses during traumatic experiences with feelings of misplaced guilt and shame.
     
  11. Goofyjits

    Goofyjits New Member

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    Thanks for the input about trauma and the body's natural responses to it, but that isn't the point of this thread. It's more for a discussion about the effects of emotional connection on arousal, and whether or not it is a major factor for women.
     
  12. dolfette

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    it's not a major factor for a lot of women.
    that's a valid reply which fits the thread topic,
    even if it's not the reply your penis would prefer.
     
    #12 dolfette, May 17, 2011
    Last edited: May 17, 2011
  13. AlteredEgo

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    My pussy is always wet. I'm wet right now, and I'm exhausted and frustrated with some of my friends. I'm wet when I'm dehydrated sometimes. It boggles me. I just want to add to what dolfette was saying: While a boyfriend was raping me, when it was almost over, I started to get turned on. I heard myself moan really softly once, and he pulled out and came on me. Now, I was nowhere near full arousal, just a little excited, and then only physically. But if he could have lasted another maybe 10 minutes? I might have had an orgasm whether I wanted it or not. At the time, I found that really confusing. For years I kept asking people if I was raped. (I was.)
     
  14. dolfette

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    not as rare an experience as people might think.

    because i was asleep when it started, my body was already aroused and responding before i was awake enough to realise what was going on and stop it.

    i'm pretty much always wet too.

    yes, i'm sure there are some women who stay dry as a bone until the right prince charming bones her. but to generalise how women's bodies work from that is not just moronic but also cruel and immoral, as it adds to the victim blaming culture which is already rife.
     
  15. ManlyBanisters

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    I'm with dolf and AE here.

    You are, in your OP, equating 'aroused' with wetness - for a start there is so much more to arousal that a wet pussy. And then there is the fact that some women will be as turned on as all hell but not be particularly wet but some women can be feeling totally unaroused and be very wet.

    I don't think you can say definitively one way or the other whether emotional connection is a 'major factor' in arousal for women because all women are not wired the same.
     
  16. dolfette

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    also, i would like to point out that there are men who need emotional connection in order to get aroused.

    they're often made to feel inadequate by a society that views male sexuality as a machine.

    it's not a man v female difference,
    it's just people.
    we're all wired differently.
     
  17. Not_Punny

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    OKOK, I already gave my knee-jerk response to the thread, but the OP isn't far off as far as "pop cultural beliefs" go -- the exact phrase being:

    Men love to get sex; women have sex to get love.

    I'm not saying anyone is right or wrong. I'm not saying the saying is right or wrong. But apparently, there are a lot of girls out there (especially ones with absent dads) who have sex really early in life just to feel connected and appreciated.
     
    #17 Not_Punny, May 17, 2011
    Last edited: May 17, 2011
  18. Fade

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    I can be playing a video game or cooking food (which is to say doing tasks that I don't find arousing at all) and I will be incredibly wet. I had an ex who violated me but my body still physically reacted. Not only that, the best sex I have ever had was with someone I was most definitely not in love with. Just my $0.02
     
  19. D_s46d5uyg

    D_s46d5uyg New Member

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    I'm willing to volunteer to test these theories...
     
  20. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    I've been meaning to ask - can you see to type, or do you dictate your posts to someone else?
     
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