As some know I made offerings to the Moon Goddess and Queen of the Faeries, Diana asking for someone I could be fascinated by.I didn't long for anyone. No one made me feel excited and I had no one to even fantasize about.So I asked for some very specific things . She sent me someone one so beautiful.When I saw him my heart raced with excitement. And I have loved him from the first time I felt his hands on my body and the warm taste of his lips. Our first kiss lasted a long time and he just kept kissing me holding me close to him with his hand in the back of my long,thick,blonde hair. I loved how he asked for what he wanted. I just long for him every night. I have trouble sleeping because I need him and I get lonely just for him. I am not cut out for single life sleeping alone and not having sex and cuddling at bedtime. I still had so many things I wanted to do and places to see around the world and I thought about that as I spoke to the Goddess and I wanted to be free but still have passion. I got exactly everything that I wished for and have broken my own heart because now I can't go to all those exotic places and turn down the opportunity because I can't bear to be far away from him. I tried to tell myself that I could have someone else who would want to be with me more but I still always want him and I only realize more that I can never replace him.Something about the sound of his voice.when he laughs I feel like heaven. When I have tried to get on and try to get over him and find someone who has the same needs I just can't breathe and feel sick to my stomach. I cry myself to sleep. So I still see him because he makes me feel GOOD when he is with me.He is soo beautiful. I can't imagine coming with anyone else. He makes my legs tremble. He reminds me of Pan who was loved by all. He has hairy legs. seems appropriate for a hunter. I had to break it off with him because I could clearly see that he he wasn't in the mode and I knew I was crazy nuts for him and tried to head it off but I knew I would want him and never get over him. I thought it could be all logical like he isn't in love with me and doesn't need me with him the same way so why fuck around and end up devastated.So I tried to break it off. this is my first time that i wanted someone who could take or leave me. It has kept my life in turmoil and sexual bliss since 9/06. okay I'm done with this rant now. I wanted to hear about love at first sight or surviving unrequited love. I didn't expect to cry this hard or this long but I can take a deep breathe again. I gotta get to sleep cuz he's coming over in the morning. I am looking for a lady to hold the camera so I can get some good pix and video. He still looks huge but I wanted to catch it at full strength because this site has influenced me.LoL.