Love Is Not Dead

whatever69

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LOVE IS NOT DEAD
by Whatever69
©






“It's funny. We meet hundreds of people. We stop to remember them sometimes and they're so far away and we're not a part of them anymore. Makes you realise how important it is to be a part of someone. And stay that way with them. And we have visions of going out into the open world and treating it as our oyster... but it takes a small, mindful moment to make us realise that doesn't really mean anything when you don't have someone to call home.”
― C. JoyBell C.





Chapter I

Being a university student has its quirks. One of them is arriving home after a long day of listening to nonsensical blabber and research about a bunch of stuff people pretend to care about.
So, I took the most of this quirk,pushed my room door and let my body fall into bed as I let out a huge sigh. I gazed the ceiling as my mind silenced for a little while. A weird presence took over me, quite like an omen. I quickly shook it off and took my phone out of my pocket. It buzzed as I got a notification from Grindr. I rolled my eyes just looking at it and thought:

"I wonder how much this sugar daddy is going to be willing to pay. Some day I really need to consider accepting these offers. University's looking a little bleak."

I opened the notification and for the surprise of a total of 0 people, it was exactly what I had predicted. Yet another bot spam profille offering me a huge amount of money in exchange for attention. You know, those offers that are too good to be true? Or so our negative capitalistic middle class mind-set has made us believe? But, in essence, a waste of my time.

I turned Grindr off without even checking. "These apps have become exhausting and my interest in them diminishes by the hour. I think I may be straight.", I thought to myself. The downside is that where I live, that's the only sense of community and "gay" you'll get. Therefore uninstalling it, is kind of like turning off the lights in a room you just gazed at for a second and be told to find certain objects there. You'll take twice as long and, let's face it, men are complicated as is.

I kept scrolling through my notifications and... Tinder? I had almost forgot that I still had that on my phone. The notification informed me of a new match. Suddenly, I remembered that I had randomly used it during lunch break but had closed it as quickly as I had opened it. I clicked the notification to see who in their right mind set would've matched me, especially considering the [overly] exaggerated use of memes and dad jokes on my profile.

The profile who matched me belonged to a 27 year old guy, who appeared to be German. How do I know? Well, my cultural preconceptions. You could tell by his pictures that he was tall and naturally well built. He had blonde hair and blue eyes. His profile description read " i'm always travelling. Wanna join?". He had the cutest picture with a Golden Retriever and looked attractive in all of his pictures. His blue eyes penetrated your soul, but I couldn't tell if in a good "divine connection" way or in a psychopathic, im going to find your house and your family kind of way. But I digress.

"Likes dogs, is attractive and travels a lot? Ugh, is Tinder having spam profiles too now? How much is it going to be Cedric? 500 a month for daily contact?", my mind instantly thought. Maybe capitalism is truly ruining my mindset.

In the midst of all of this, he messaged me. Last time I had had a message on Tinder it didn't go past the "Good and you? Good too", circumstantial conversation. As a matter of fact, after opening the app, I realized that 99.9% of my interactions there had been like that. And now I am possibly facing a spam profile. Just great.

I decided to message back. The usual dreaded circumstantial conversation occured. I was waiting for the proposal of either sex or money when to my surprise... He wanted to know more about me?

"Are you local? You're really cute.", he messaged me.

I had realized already that he was a foreigner but never in a million years had it cross my mind that I would be speaking another language with someone from the outside, let alone interacting with them personally or even be intimitate with them. Where I'm from that's a distant reality and quite honestly, a scary one. Still I had interest to see where this was going, especially considering my past experiences.

"Hm yeah, im local. Thanks! You're really cute too. Where are you from?", I replied.

"I'm from France, but half German. I'm here in vacation with my family!", he said back to me.

Ah-ha! Turned out my cultural preconceptions meter was not that off.

"Oh that's so nice! How are you enjoying it here?", I tried maintaining the conversation.

"This is place is gorgeous! I really want to live here some day. Would you be up to meet for a drink?", he quickly proposed.

The quick proposal for a drink made me hesitant. Still, for some reason unbeknownst to me, I wanted to keep that conversation going. Maybe to stretch the rope to see how far it would go and make my own social experiments (with me as the guinea pig, of course) and, in turn, make my own conclusions [to be turned into preconceptions]. So, I turned on my "people's intentions" preconception meter and assumed that by drink he meant suck my dick, tear my hole apart and eventuallly my heart as well.

"hm, to be honest, i'm not really looking for sex", I said, breaking the fourth wall of the gay apps.

Cedric is typing...

"Yup, i'm going to be blocked", I thought with the delay in response.

"Oh, no, I meant really just to have a drink and get to know you", he replied.

If there were cue cards in our human existence, this would be where my *panic ensues* cue card would come in.

"So wait a minute. This foreign boy, who likes dogs, is attractive, likes travelling and matches me, just wants a drink, get to know me and is not actually a sugar daddy? These bots are either getting really good or maybe luck has just knocked on my door?", I thought with my mind racing.

At that moment I couldn't face the situation or the pressure of meeting someone new like this. It was all becoming a bit too overwhelming, a bit too fast. I needed to find an excuse and well... I guess university was going to finally be useful for something.

"Oh, haha, I would really like to, but I have classes all week, all day long, so it's quite difficult for me", I quickly replied trying to move my way around the situation.

"Until what time you have classes? We could meet after class", he persisted.

"Until 6 pm, sometimes until 8. But im in the city centre for classes. I live a bit far away from the center, so im kind of dependent of buses as well ", I tried saying, thinking he would back up from the idea.

"I could meet you in the city centre after class for a drink and then you could catch the bus later?", he kept insisting.

"But I see here that you are far away. That's like an hour and a half by bus and there are like no buses at night there because it's so far away. How would you go back?", I tried using my knowledge of the bus schedules to turn the situation around.

"I have a car. But you would have to let me know beforehand, if you're willing to do it, so I could get there and back to my hotel not too late", he very simply stated.

I was running out of excuses. But the anxiety was still very alive. What would I do? The devil in my shoulder was telling me to go, what did I have to lose? But the angel quickly came and reminded me of the dangers of meeting someone who could potentially be a serial killer for all I knew. I was going to go for honesty being the best policy.

" I'll have to see what I can do and then I'll let you know. Tbh, im not really ready and feeling a bit scared lol", I awkwardly replied as I cringed my way out of my physical body.

" Scared of what? I would just have a drink with you and talk, nothing else. But it's up to you. Just let me know. It's all safe :)", he replied maintaning a patience I was not expecting.

"Hahaha, fine I'll think about it.", I replied back, seeing if the conversation would shift.

It turned out that was the last message we shared that day. I was nervous about this interaction, but quickly soothed myself by reminding myself of all my other previous Tinder dates: they were non existing and always stayed in the realm of possibility. A part of me kind of expected not only the conversation but the date to die out for various reasons. Him being a foreigner and being with his family, thus not having as much free time was one of them. Also the possibility of university actually truly getting in the way. But also the possibility of it leading nowhere, meaning we'd meet, but he'd quickly leave back to his country in the following couple of days and i'd stay here. It seemed pointless to me. So I let it sit there and drifted my attention from it.

"What is meant to be, will be", I thought.

I got up from my yellow duvet and went on about with my life. Tomorrow was another day.
 

whatever69

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CHAPTER 2


“Sometimes the most scenic roads in life are the detours you didn't mean to take.”
― Angela N. Blount, Once Upon an Ever After


The alarm rang as another day unveiled its presence. I went on about my daily routine, which at that point, I almost did in auto-pilot. I showered, put on my clothes, had breakfast and left towards the bus stop. Everything presented itself as any other regular day. I climbed the steps of the bus, scanned my pass card, and took my favorite seat. There was always a lingering feeling whenever I sat on a bus. When it filled up with people, the seat next to me was always empty, as people seemingly didn’t notice an empty seat to fill. They’d rather stand up. “Do I smell? Am I serving a resting bitch face?” probably, as I hated getting up early. I shook the thought off. “This seat is for someone special”, I thought as I smiled looking out the window. My mind wandered as I plugged my earphones and let myself drift in the melodies that filled my soul.


Classes went on as usual, university was still in the same place. I dreaded everything about my reality. It seemed stagnant, static, stale. I felt like shaking the island I lived in out of its complacency. Everything was the eternal daily loop, and changes seemed to happen in the cracks of time nobody consciously noticed. It was as if everything was the same but then one day when you looked back it was all different. I hated that feeling. I needed stimuli, I needed the big city feeling, the feeling of going somewhere, of moving towards a certain direction. A feeling a place so complacent with its daily routine couldn’t offer.


My head rested on my hand, as I leaned on my desk in class. These feelings swirled around me when suddenly a buzz in my pocket shook me out of my negative spiral. It was him again:

“Hey, are we still meeting up tonight?”.

“Crap”, I thought, feeling without escape.

Whenever I found myself having boy troubles, or stuck in indecision, I’d resort to my personal magic eight ball: my best friend. She sat next to me, usually drawing my side profile with her pencil, covering all of her notes in her notebook.

“Hey, pssst”, I whispered. “Yes or no?”.

She gave me quite the look, gazing above her red glasses. She hesitated for a little while.

“What are you getting me into?” she replied, feeling the weight of the decisions that I should be making by myself.

I quickly told her it was about meeting a boy. She hesitated once again, and gave it a little thought. Suddenly, as if analyzing my past and knowing about my stories. She shrugged:

“Yes! What do you have to lose?”


I knew the weight of the decision wouldn’t influence her, hence her easy response. However, I knew that there was a certain truth to it. It resonated with me. If there was one thing I learned from her, it was to open myself up to spontaneity and, well, this seemed like the ultimate opening to spontaneity test. I turned my “fuck it” mode on and decided to agree on meeting him.

“Hey, yes let’s meet up tonight. Can you meet me at my town? I’ll send you the address, but I must warn you, it’s even further away than university which means you’ll take a while.”, I replied letting him know fully what he was getting into.

“Sure! Send me the address. What time shall we meet?”, he replied instantly.

My heart pounded. I couldn’t believe I was actually doing this. But I felt shook out of my skin for the first time in a while. It felt oddly good.

“I have classes until eight. Can we meet at 9:30 so I have time to get home grab dinner and get ready?”, I said back.

He took a while to reply, like calculating the times and checking the routes and everything in between.

“Okay sounds good. Just tell me when and where to meet and I’ll be there” he promptly said.

I texted him the address and everything was planned. My first Tinder date, with a foreign guy, speaking a foreign language. Something seemed very odd and challenging in all of this. My guts were twisting and turning at the thought of meeting a stranger. “What do you have to lose?” echoed in my head. I told my friend all about him just in case something would happen. A sly smile appeared in her face, seemingly mocking me in the most loving manner. I could tell she was excited for me too. It felt like the beginning of a huge adventure.

The rest of the day went on as usual, with my mind just set on that date. The time came to leave class. I opened the app again. I confirmed the date and so did he. I entered the bus with an empty seat next to me once again. My head banging against the vibrating giant window, lost in the music, I kept thinking of all the possibilities that could come out of that date. Something in my head relativized the event and I let out laughter at the goofiness of my own thoughts and the whole situation.I arrived home, grabbed dinner, put some perfume on, grabbed a jacket and well… prayed.

I texted him wondering where he was. He took a while to reply, but eventually said he had arrived. I opened the door and left with a strange confidence. As I walked and texted him, we realized he was at a similar address but not exactly where we were supposed to meet. I re-sent him the address, this time pin pointed on the map, which he carefully followed this time. I sat on a bus stop with a large, high bench where my tall legs couldn’t reach the floor. I put some music on to try and relax. I couldn’t believe this was happening.

While scrolling through my phone, I suddenly looked up and a white car parked in front of me. I froze: “Should I get in? Should he get out? What should I do?”, I couldn't figure out what to do. A force struck me and I got in the car and greeted him. We said our hellos, as our eyes analyzed the strangers in front of us. There was an eerie analytical silence for a quick second. He was gorgeous. His face seemed to reflect the light, his eyes struck me, and his blonde hair seemed made of cotton, a field I wanted to rest my cheek on. Something very sublime happened in that moment though our senses couldn’t quite detect it.

“Where should we go?”, he asked.

“There’s a beach nearby with this nice promenade where we can walk and talk for a little bit. How does that sound?”, I replied.

“Sounds good! You’ll just have to give me directions”.

And so It was. We got to know a bit about each other on the short ride to the beach.

We got out of the car and looked at one another fully for the first time. He was taller than me, and real! He looked like he was taken from a movie. He was gorgeous, though I must admit, his style wasn’t exactly his strong aspect. Still, it made him human, raw and real. “Wow” echoed in me. Words were being spoken through the silence of our mutual gaze. We went on and walked through the beach. There was no sound but the wind and the sea, and our voices intertwining in an engaging conversation. I shivered, expecting the moment he’d make a sexual advance towards me. I was not mentally ready for anything of the sort. We sat down in this bench with a palm tree hanging above our heads. The sea presented itself in front of us, as a dark void, indistinguishable from the sky. A yellow light came through the lamp just barely illuminating us. He looked even more beautiful under that light. We talked and talked with a natural confidence, confiding deep aspects of ourselves, as if we’d known each other for years. He opened up about his insecurities, his cravings, his desires, his love and his lust. He seemed real once again, past the superficiality of a dating app. However, a part of me stood its ground, and wasn’t being taken blindly by the awe that was arising in my chest. It’s as if the thought of him being a foreigner was ever present, and the threat of his absence a constant reminder of the volatility that was uniting us.

“Don’t get your hopes up”
, I thought.

We kept talking under the stars, even questioning them and the big sky that held them dearly. Time stood still for a couple of hours. No big deal, no props, no big events. Just the simplicity of a quiet night, with two quiet strangers getting to know the vastness of each others’ inner universes. It was slightly magical.

The palm trees swayed and danced to the rhythm of the wind. The cold of the night started setting in and we both decided to go back to the car, as it would protect us from that cold winter night. We got inside and kept babbling a bit more about nonsense and music. We exchanged some songs on our spotify and agreed to make each other a playlist to get to know our musical tastes better. It was getting late, and he had to get back because he still had a long ride home from my town to his hotel. He drove all the way up to my front door As he parked the car, it came time to say goodbye. We looked each other in the eyes. The eerie magical silence struck again.

“So….”, he awkwardly stated.

“So…..”, I awkwardly stated back.

Suddenly we found a topic of conversation again and stayed there for a little while once more.

“I really have to go”, I said.

“Before you go… Can I just ask you something?”, he seemed hesitant.

My heart was beating in my gut. I knew what was coming.


“Yes…”, I said hesitating too.

“Before you go, can I just have one little kiss?”, he blatantly said.


My anxious brain went in overload. It seemed like an eternity before I gave him an actual answer. Thoughts were racing and my heart was palpitating. “At least he asked for consent” my funny subconscious yelled. However, that same feeling I had previously, took over once again and stood its ground.

“Well, here’s my thing… I don’t like my kisses tasting like goodbye. I want them to taste like hellos and new beginnings”, I blurted out quite intuitively and awkwardly smiling. I felt my insides cringing.

A slight awkwardness took over, but weirdly enough, it took off as soon as it came in. He looked quite intrigued at my response albeit his bruised ego. He shook his head in agreement.

“Can I at least have a hug?”, he tried once more.

“Of course!”, I instantly said.

Our arms wrapped around our torsos. That hug felt like an eternity. Deep down inside, I never wanted it to end. But destiny had its own ideas. I opened the car door, took one last glance, and smiled at him. I walked towards the gate door, looked back and saw him reversing the car and going his own way. I opened the gate door.

“You’re so fucking stupid! WHY would you reject the kiss?”, the thoughts instantly flooded me.

Distracted, the door, now behind me, accidentally slammed and echoed through the silent night.

Maybe that magical moment I had just lived was like that: an echo through eternity.

Who knew if it would find its resonance?
 
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whatever69

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CHAPTER 3

"Cinema is the ultimate pervert art. It doesn't give you what you desire - it tells you how to desire."

— Slavoj Žižek



I kept thinking about what had transpired the previous day. I felt an awareness sit on my mind, a if I was present beyond presence. I was outside my own memory, looking at our walk on the beach and every conversation we had had. I couldn’t shake off the feeling that I would’ve liked to see things progress, but knew that the distance that was about to separates us was far greater than the chemistry that bound us. Essentially, it had felt as merely a passable meeting that destiny stubbornly didn’t allow to happen sooner. It was okay, though. I had convinced myself, programmed my brain for the shock of the reality of what would happen during and after our encounter. I knew what I was getting myself into. Still, a bittersweet taste was left in my mouth, as all things in my life this felt like something that didn’t quite materialize once more.


It turned out, he was leaving that same morning. As I was laying in bed, he was probably roaming the airport looking for his gate, rushing to not miss the flight that would bring him back home. Isn’t it crazy? How someone could be in such a busy reality, while someone else simultaneously is laying in bed with nothing but silence surrounding the walls of an empty mind? We were two different realities, two different times, two different spaces. Our opposition was too big to allow our realities to gel together. I sighed, thinking about this. But it was okay, it just wasn’t meant to be. Maybe rejecting his kiss was the greatest decision I had ever made.


Busy living through all of this, I had forgotten about the other plot I was woven on to.


Good morning beautiful”, my phone rang as I unlocked it to see the notification.


The message came from a boy named Alexis. Alexis worked at my university at one of the faculties. He was 3 years older than me. We had met accidentally, but stayed friends after we realized we had some things in common and really bounced back from each others’ sense of humor which always made for engaging, funny conversations. However, there was just one thing that was happening that I had not intended to: me and Alexis were growing closer and closer with each passing day. We spent hours texting one another and whenever I was at university I’d always go to where he worked and stayed there in his company through the afternoon after classes. We filled each other’s days when the cracks of silence haunted it. The chemistry flowed and I found myself smiling and genuinely feeling connected to him. But there was something that couldn’t allow me to go further: Alexis had a boyfriend, Phillip. It doesn’t just stop there though: Phillip had been my first ever boyfriend. I was in an internal conflict with all these factors playing my mind like a theatre play, where everyone seemed to be playing side characters to my demise. I felt in a Platonic philosophical moral and ethical complex that I had to solve, whilst also trying to be true to my own feelings and desires.


Me and Phillip had ended in good terms, although some years later he explained to me that he was struggling with his mental health thus he needed to cut contact with me. It was nothing personal though, he had guaranteed. He just wanted to break away from his past. Of course I had to accept and wish he did what he felt was best for him. After that, I had lost track of him for years until I came to university, where he also now worked. Who knew I’d major in Complex Love Affairs?


I was growing suspicious that Alexis was not being honest to Phillip about our connection evolving. However, I found that to be untrue, as at the end of the countless afternoons we spent together, he’d come to meet me and Alexis at Alexis’ job, day after day, seemingly complacent with what he was seeing. I didn’t know if it was his innocence striking in, or if deep down he was actually enjoying the thought of something brewing between the 3 of us. Nonetheless, there seemed to be no conflict despite the facts and evidence of what was happening. I still felt somewhat unsure of what I was doing, as it felt wrong and I was quite unaware of polyamory. I don’t even think I had ever considered living out of monogamy up until that point. Also, it felt weird going back to Phillip in any sort of form. It had been so many years, I was so young back then. It just felt like messing with the past. “I can’t wreck this home.”, constantly crossed my mind. But I couldn’t lie to myself either, Alexis’ presence felt so good and I had an undying desire to taste his lips.

Cedric posed a new question though. That little spark that lit that night we sat under the stars was slowly consuming my soul with “could’ve beens”. A part of me was hoping we’d keep contact despite it seeming unrealistic. We had exchanged phone numbers and added each other on social media, so there was a possibility to always keep in touch. But why would I invest in something so uncertain and distant, when near me was love, albeit a forbidden one? I was in conflict.


I slid out of bed and answered to Alexis. We had scheduled that afternoon after classes to go to the movies with a bunch of our other friends with Phillip included. I tried to shake off the conflict and the awkwardness that arose in me and went on about my day.

As I was on my way to the bus stop, an airplane passed by. I smiled thinking that could be Cedric on his way back, but quickly that feeling faded away as I remembered what that meant. Classes were boring, blah blah blah, until I was struck by something I couldn’t even make up in a thousand years. I was outside the classroom with my two best friends awaiting the arrival of the professor. This classroom was so weirdly placed in a hallway that had absolutely no correlation to the English subject. As a matter of fact, it was a computer filled classroom destined for informatics students. Again, this is university, so I was not expecting sense, but this seemed very odd even to their standards. As I was standing there leaning against the wall and laughing, I suddenly see Phillip coming out of the room next to my classroom. That was the science lab where he worked at. He was wearing a white button up shirt with pink stripes, blue jeans and some cute brown boots. He saw us there and came to greet us. He was always making snarky remarks and joking with me and my friends, and that day was no different. Or so I thought.


The teacher had arrived in the mean time and opened the class room, which made the flood of people in the hallway diminish very quickly, until it was only me and him left. We kept rambling and throwing jokes at one another. Suddenly, he grabbed me by my chin and stood face to face with me, our lips inching towards one another, eyes to eyes and our noses so close I could feel his breathing. I stood in shock as he retorted “I don’t know what I’d do to you”, with desire burning in his lips. I felt a wave come through my body, as I froze. He quickly let go of my chin, turned around and went on about with whatever he was going to do. I stood on the hallway for what seemed a million years, processing what had just happened. A part of me was relieved because that seemed to be a confirmation that he did know what was going on between me and Alexis, and that moment felt like fuel to keep it going, as there would be no problems arising from it.


Suddenly, from night to day, I went from being on a date with a foreigner, to possibly engaging in a polyamorous affair. What in astrology was happening?!


Another day of classes had come to an end, which meant that I was finally going to the movies. We all met up at Alexis’ job and waited for Phillip to arrive to take the same bus to the shopping center after. At that moment, my biggest doubt was if Alexis was aware of what had happened that afternoon between me and Phillip. I never knew if the three of us were on the same page, though all signs pointed so, as when we met up there was a fluidity and normalness that seemed to corroborate it. Despite what had transpired though, I still felt only attracted to Alexis, but the thought of having to deal with Phillip to have him was an idea I was growing more and more fond of. Nonetheless, when we were all together, Phillip seemingly faded into the background as there was such a magnetism between me and Alexis that just grasped our whole energy. It was an intense magnitude that I could not put into words, but was desperate to put into action.


We bought the tickets and decide to stay on the last row of the room, which was almost fully booked with us and our group of friends. Alexis decided to stay seated in between me and Phillip, which meant me and Phillip were separated by 1 seat only. There was this unspoken desire between me and Alexis to bond during that movie time. I say unspoken because it felt like even before we got there, we both knew why we had agreed to go the movies with so many people, to watch a movie neither of us cared about. We knew in the darkness of the room, the dim light of the big screen was going to be the presence light that illuminated our craving for one another. “ You can’t do this, Philip is right there. Just watch the movie and don’t overthink it”, I thought to myself.


I was attentively watching the big narrative unfold, figuratively and literally, as Alexis suddenly leaned his head on my shoulder, and with both his hands holding my arm. I tried to not pay attention to it, knowing fully well how inappropriate that was considering the circumstances, but I couldn’t help to feel a warm sensation go all over my body and turning me on. I placed my hand on his leg, as he held my arm tighter. I could feel both of our breaths getting heavier. One of his hands was reaching now for my leg and gently caressing it back and forth. I started doing the same on his leg, almost clawing my nails through his jeans onto his skin, with the amount of desire that burned in me. I looked to the left, he lifted his head and we stood there face to face, with our heavy breaths and very silent moans consuming the oxygen we both took in, as our hands kept stroking our legs. He took his head off of my shoulder and leaned back on his seat, closing his eyes and breathing heavy as discreetly as he could so no one would notice. I kept teasing him by going further up his leg, and making bigger strokes as I went. I could see his eyes rolling. I kept going further up, until I found him fully erect. I grabbed it through the pants and gently stroked it as his heavy breathing was getting harder and harder to conceal. I was consumed by that moment myself and raging with pleasure. He looked at me once more, I looked back at him and we stood face to face again, but this time neither of us resisted: our shy lips met, as our blood boiled to peaks neither of us knew it could reach. Time stood still for 2 little seconds, as reality came crashing down. I quickly stopped myself, thinking about how wrong this all was and got back to my seat. I was praying Phillip had not noticed. I looked over and he was gazing attentively to the movie, almost unbeknownst to what just had happened in plain sight, just 1 seat away from him. I felt so guilty and shameful. Despite it all I felt I had a moral obligation to him with respect to our past. But at the same time, I couldn’t forget what had happened that afternoon. He was probably aware! Maybe he was just pretending he wasn’t witnessing what was going on, and getting turned on by the sight himself?

The movie ended, and I quite literally remembered nothing of it. Everybody had to catch different buses now so we gathered one last time to say our goodbyes near the bus stops. As we were walking there, I confronted Alexis about if he thought Phillip had noticed. He couldn’ tell either, but quickly turned to him and blatantly asked: “Are you aware of what happened?” I blushed and wanted to hang my head in shame. Phillip seemed as confused, as if someone was asking him to dissertate about quantum physics.

What happened?”.

Me and Alexis looked at each other and a shy, sly grin appeared in our faces out of guilt. I quickly told him to tell Phillip about what had gone down, to which he agreed to do on their bus on the way home.

We arrived at the bus stops and everyone started giving out hugs. As I went to say goodbye to Alexis, I reiterated once more that he should tell Phillip what happened. He agreed to it once again and told me not to worry. As we hugged, drawn again by the undeniable magnetism, we couldn’t help ourselves and shared one quick kiss, a kiss that Phillip witnessed. I couldn’t believe I had just done it again.

He looked at us, with a mixture of shock, confusion but with a smile appearing in his face. He condoned us in a jokingly manner, typical of his personality, but we didn’t have time to dwell on what had just happened, as the last buses were just about to leave. We waved and ran to catch our respective buses.


I laid my head back on the seat, closed my eyes and tried to take my mind of what had just happened, while at the same time digesting everything. I couldn’t believe the triangle I had just inserted myself into.

Suddenly, my phone rang.

“Hey, it’s me, Cedric, I have arrived”.

It seemed this triangle, was about to turn into a square.
 
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