Love or Infatuation?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by naughty, Jun 26, 2006.

  1. naughty

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    12,837
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Hi,

    They say love is blind... What is love and what is infatuation. Have you ever been blindsided by one thinking it was the other? Is there such a thing as "love at first sight?"
     
  2. dong20

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2006
    Messages:
    6,130
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    The grey country
    Yes and Yes.:smile:
     
  3. Riven650

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2006
    Messages:
    1,620
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    21
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Norfolk UK
    My take on this, Naughty, is that love is a two way thing, but infatuation is one way. ie. You can't 'love' someone who isn't aware of your existance (film star, etc.). That's infatuation. Being crazy about someone who knows you but doesn't feel that way about you is also infatuation. Love is when you feel the same powerful affection for each other.
     
  4. naughty

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    12,837
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Or ,
    the two people could love one another in two different ways. Or with different degrees of intensity. I hate when that happens... LOL!




     
  5. Riven650

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2006
    Messages:
    1,620
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    21
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Norfolk UK
    Mmm. Just when I thought I had it sorted! Darn.:mad:
     
  6. naughty

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    12,837
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Riven,

    I think what you described was unrequited love. But that does not mean that it is not legit. Just not reciprocated.... Read this I think it says it all...

    Here is a poem by the great "Black Russian" poet ,Alexander Pushkin which really moved me to tears recently: I loved you, I love you still too much. But forget this love that pressed sadly against your will. I loved you in silence Without hope, but true, Jealous , afraid. I pray that someone May love you again the same way... [FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif][/FONT]..
     
  7. Riven650

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2006
    Messages:
    1,620
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    21
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Norfolk UK
    Nice poetry Naughty. I haven't read any Pushkin. I think you're right. I was being a bit glib, trite, or whatever it is. Of course, I'm the one who maintains that if you've ever really loved someone, you never stop; not really stop. You just package that love away in a secret place in your heart where it causes an ache, and occasionally bleeds a little. :sad:
     
  8. mellowmal

    mellowmal New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2005
    Messages:
    174
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Maine
    Wow - that poem really hit me with a bittersweet punch.

    I just got back to the house after dinner with an ex. One of those cases of love not being enough to tolerate the months of his not working, the kids he forgot to mention, all that stuff that made for more botheration than I could handle. (Okay, I'm not sure botheration is a word, but it SHOULD be, darnit.)

    Love at first sight - for me, this has always been lust when I'm honest about it. Love is a slower growing thing - it is the patience when the beloved isn't at his or her best, the ability to maintain belief in the shared dream even when life keeps waking us up, and the grace in recovery when it's me that's in the wrong. (It's a lot of other things, too - none of which have to do with that "ohgod" belly-clench of love at first sight.)

    Now I'll be sniffling in the corner over that poem.
     
  9. Pene_Negro_Grande

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2004
    Messages:
    1,100
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Right Next To You
    I think it is infatuation in my opinion....I don't think I have ever been really in love....Have definitely been in lust several times is what I call it....I have tried to really fall for someone but I think I have some trust issues and I never completely get into it....But I do think love is a beautiful thing....I like seeing everyone else in love....But I have seen several friends that are so blinded by love, they turn into scary stocker guy or the girl that shows up everwhere the ex is and tries to befriend the current girl and make everything awkward....So if you find true love - don't be stupid and mess it up....
     
  10. pinkbutton

    pinkbutton New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2006
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Infatuation sounds more like an unhealthy intense desire for somebody . . like you can't get enough of them, can't leave them alone.
     
  11. amhersthungboi

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2006
    Messages:
    380
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Australia
    I am brought to remember a quote by Voltaire (my favorite author). It goes something like this:

    Love hurts, and that's why there are two people in love, to help ease each other through the pain.

    So, love definitely involves two people, at least I think so. One way, or "unrequited love" is really just a deep infatuation, or obsession, but true love cannot occur until it goes both ways. Infatuation hurts, but there's no one else to ease the pain ... so is that really love? I don't think so, but that's my thought.
     
  12. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2003
    Messages:
    28,023
    Likes Received:
    731
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    the pain behind your eyes
    Great poem there, Naughty. Am reaching for a Kleenex right now. ***Honk!!** Seriously tho, I don't think you can have an infatuation without some expecation of unrequited love, it's just not possible. It helps us learn and grow, you know?
     
  13. yhtang

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2006
    Messages:
    1,565
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    170
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    South East Asia
    You just touched the part of my heart that hurts....
     
  14. stud_hunter

    stud_hunter New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2006
    Messages:
    817
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    CA, USA
    Lust as first sight for sure! Love at first sight, well call me a skeptic but I say no. I don't think a person can really feel love after 10 seconds, or even 10 minutes.
     
  15. dong20

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2006
    Messages:
    6,130
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    The grey country
    I do believe in love at first sight, but it's I accept it's probably Hindsight.:smile:
     
  16. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2006
    Messages:
    887
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    High Above The Mucky Muck
    Love would be adoration that doesn't require sex.

    Infatuation would always hopefully lead to sex, or at least that is the main thought an infatuated person would have...in my experience.
     
  17. naughty

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    12,837
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Darling,

    YOu are describing Chivalric love.



     
  18. Gisella

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    4,872
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    Ihhh...complication in my head already...:biggrin1:

    Infatuation to me are crushes..some short other long lived and i confuse it with love a lot... but it finish and did not had oportunity to growo to other stages

    Love...havent the great pleasure to meet it yet ...

    But one thing i know i lived my love crushes with passion...
     
  19. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2006
    Messages:
    887
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    High Above The Mucky Muck
    That's the only love I know! lol.

    Seriously though, love for me...would be a feeling higher than sex because anyone can have sex...etc. I'm looking for a unique feeling that would nullify my sexual urges and I wouldn't even mind because it would be so great.

    :D

    Too idealistic?
     
  20. Ethyl

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,476
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    495
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Philadelphia (PA, US)
    I've experienced infatuation in varying degrees and fallen in love twice (once at first sight; the other over time). No regrets whatsoever.

    Rumi stated that "lovers have the interest without the capital" and the poem is one of the best descriptions of falling in love i've read to date. Pablo Neruda perfectly pens love at first sight "I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where . . . "
     
Draft saved Draft deleted