Love or Infatuation?

D_Coyne Toss

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naughty said:
Hi,

They say love is blind... What is love and what is infatuation. Have you ever been blindsided by one thinking it was the other? Is there such a thing as "love at first sight?"

Sure it does exist, and i've experienced it. Love is when you cannot think your life without her, and when you see stars shining in her eyes. After 3 years i still feel my heart jumping when we kiss, and when we hold hands, it is like flying.

Love is like a storm shaking your body and your mind.
 

naughty

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Wow,

Whatever you are on i want a prescription. Any doctors in the house?






Proudly_Italian said:
Sure it does exist, and i've experienced it. Love is when you cannot think your life without her, and when you see stars shining in her eyes. After 3 years i still feel my heart jumping when we kiss, and when we hold hands, it is like flying.

Love is like a storm shaking your body and your mind.
 

B_Spladle

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naughty said:
Hi,

They say love is blind... What is love and what is infatuation. Have you ever been blindsided by one thinking it was the other? Is there such a thing as "love at first sight?"
How one chooses to define either word is arbitrary, I think. IMHO, there is no real difference between loving or being infatuated with a person and simply liking them a whole lot.

But then, I'm dead inside.

<3

The whole idea of love at first sight is pretty ridiculous.
 

D_Elijah_MorganWood

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stud_hunter said:
Lust as first sight for sure! Love at first sight, well call me a skeptic but I say no. I don't think a person can really feel love after 10 seconds, or even 10 minutes.

Nasty parts getting all hot and tingly (IMHO) always preceeds love. It's hard to say when love starts but it's easy to know when it ends.
 

JoeNeckbone

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Love is an action word, a verb. No words need to be spoken to perceive love. Its defined either by actions or failures to act. Unconditional actions meaning acts without expectations. Acting in loving ways attracts loving ways. Love as an abstract idea can be defined in any way you wish but desire and attraction are two different things when it comes to sex. Desire is stimulation, arousal, lust. Attraction is an admiration of somebody's character and personality, their way of being human. Love at first sight is very romantic but I believe it happens. Anything you believe is real ..becomes real to you. Your beliefs are the most powerfull thing about you. What you believe to be true, regardless of whether it is or not, effects your perceived reality. I suggest you test your reality against other realities often. The truth can be arrived at after a process of eliminating everything that is not the truth. Jumping to conclusions about the truth because it sounds good, feels good, is popular, or is to your advantage is dangerous. Wishfull thinking is also dangerous. It should always be intellect over emotions. The fact is you only have three feelings to choose from in life. Unpleasent, pleasent, and neutral. When you experience these feelings you surround them with your own ideas . Your feelings surrounded by your ideas become your emotions. You can only experience one emotion at a time. So you actually think your emotions into existence. Your emotions come from within. You create them. A broken heart is a self inflicted wound. Nobody can cause you emotional pain but yourself. Before agreeing what love is with somebody in a relationship I would make sure we discussed what love is not...
 

Gisella

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JoeNeckbone said:
Before agreeing what love is with somebody in a relationship I would make sure we discussed what love is not...

:grinning-smiley-003

What a great ideia at least for me it is much more simple to work with what is not!!!

At least for now...

Thanks Joe :smile:
 

Ethyl

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JoeNeckbone said:
Love is an action word, a verb. No words need to be spoken to perceive love. Its defined either by actions or failures to act. Unconditional actions meaning acts without expectations.

All very true. You've been reading Don Miguel Ruiz, haven't you?

Acting in loving ways attracts loving ways. Love as an abstract idea can be defined in any way you wish but desire and attraction are two different things when it comes to sex. Desire is stimulation, arousal, lust. Attraction is an admiration of somebody's character and personality, their way of being human. Love at first sight is very romantic but I believe it happens.[/QUOTE]

I'm still with you here but i'm finding a contradiction in that last statement and the one below:

It should always be intellect over emotions.

Is love at first sight all about intellect? I say nay. And yes, I believe our intellect should guide our emotions but sometimes emotions can be overwhelming, particularly when we fall in love.

The fact is you only have three feelings to choose from in life. Unpleasent, pleasent, and neutral. When you experience these feelings you surround them with your own ideas . Your feelings surrounded by your ideas become your emotions. You can only experience one emotion at a time.

Really? You don't think certain emotions overlap each other at times?

So you actually think your emotions into existence. Your emotions come from within. You create them. A broken heart is a self inflicted wound. Nobody can cause you emotional pain but yourself. Before agreeing what love is with somebody in a relationship I would make sure we discussed what love is not...

I agree with the last sentence. Two people must be on the same page when it comes to ideas and the reality of love. Your statement about the broken heart is truly reflective of what Don Miguel Ruiz states about emotions. We ARE responsible for our emotions, but how do you prevent a self inflicted wound to the heart? Avoiding relationships altogether? Morph into a sociopath? Seems a rather masochistic view of love, and although I think in a small sense we do perpetuate our own pain, I think love is more complex than that. Love is not only about happiness, unconditional acceptance, and thoughtful action. When there is love, there is loss, whether through separation, divorce or death. Yes, how we feel about that loss is our responsibility, but claiming those events can't cause emotional pain is not true in my book of experience. I understand the point of your statement, don't get me wrong, but I think it's much easier said than done.
 

Expando1

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naughty said:
Hi,

They say love is blind... What is love and what is infatuation. Have you ever been blindsided by one thinking it was the other? Is there such a thing as "love at first sight?"

I think it's more of lust or like at first site. Love is too deep, too complex to happen within a few seconds...when i'm in love i'm surprised at the feelings i have for the other person and the ways in which i love her. i have had very strong feelings upon seeing a girl that i could fall in love with her...based on how she looked, her mannerisms, the way she spoke, a certain smile, or glint in her eyes when she seems amused...but it wasn't love at first sight; this type of reaction on my part is probably based on some archetype(template) my mind has extracted from women i've cared for and loved in the past so when i see a girl for the first time displaying those traits deeply imbedded in my psyche i think it's "love at first site."
 

JoeNeckbone

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mercurialbliss said:
All very true. You've been reading Don Miguel Ruiz, haven't you?
-----------------------------------------------------------
No I have not read him but I will now.

Its all cause and effect science to me.

We all make choices that impose consequences upon us and others.

You can just react to your circumstances and external conditions based on the way you feel or you can make your choices using 4 uniquely human attributes.
Conscience, free will[volition], imagination, and self awareness[knowledge].
Animals lack these attributes.
You have the freedom to think before making choices that effect you and others.

We can all affect our emotions by our actions. Acting in certain ways can cause us to experience certain feeling. Positive actions tend to be accompanied by positive feelings and vice versa.

When you react your actions follow your feelings.

If you feel unloving, you may act in unloving ways, and often justify your unloving acts by referring to your unloving feelings and blaming them on the other person.

If you disregard those feelings and instead follow your loving values despite your feelings , you often find your feelings change.

Acting in kind and loving ways causes us to experience kind and loving feelings. Love the feeling is the fruit of love the verb. The act of loving creates the loving feeling.

I am sharing ideas I became aware of by reading Stephen Covey.


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I agree with the last sentence. Two people must be on the same page when it comes to ideas and the reality of love. Your statement about the broken heart is truly reflective of what Don Miguel Ruiz states about emotions. We ARE responsible for our emotions, but how do you prevent a self inflicted wound to the heart?
-------------------------------------------------------
The heart you speak of is an abstract idea. Your response to the bad things is what hurts you most. We call situations bad when they rob us of something. All loss is painful, particularly when we lose loved ones or part of the life and vitality that we've come to rely on. But the fact is these losses cannot cause us lasting harm. The main damage comes from bad circumstances is the damage we cause ourselves if we become so dependently attached to things that we become resentful and self pitying when we lose them.

LOSS can blow you away like dry leaves in an autumn wind if you fail to understand loss and gain are corresponding emotions. You can never gain without risking loss. Life is about suffering. [BUDDHA] Accept that fact and its no longer an issue. You can then move on to crisis prevention and strategies for relationships. Life is not a feel good every moment experience. If you dont embrace the pain you will never know the pleasure possible. If you know you are the cause for the pain effecting you it's easier to cope with it.

Love is an abstract idea. You define it and agree upon it in relationships. Life is a series of moments. We deny our mortality daily to remain sane. I say expand your levels of awareness and experience. Open yourself up to what's beyond the edge of your own patterns of thinking.

Emotional pain comes with the territory. So does bliss, euphoria, joy, and enthusiasm for living. There are universally accepted laws for living and loving.

THE EVENTS YOU MENTION DO NOT CAUSE YOU TO EXPERIENCE EMOTIONAL PAIN. ITS YOUR INTERPRETATION OF THOSE EVENTS AND FEELINGS THAT CAUSE YOU THE PAIN. YOUR RESPONSE TO YOUR OWN FEELINGS ARE WHAT HURTS YOU THE MOST. THE SOURCE OF YOUR PAIN IS INTRAORGANIC NOT EXTRAORGANIC. It comes from within you. You create it. I never said don't experience it. Just understand the source of your emotional pain is you .

IT IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE but I am more into walking my talk than just talking it..anybody can talk ..my actions speak for me. Intellect before emotions is a way of being I value. Its an abstract idea. I realized, conceptualized, and actualized it. I find your approach to my ideas curious. I would never argue perceptions. I would seek to understand yours before asking you to understand mine. Perceptions are not right or wrong because they do not reflect reality.


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Avoiding relationships altogether? Morph into a sociopath? Seems a rather masochistic view of love, and although I think in a small sense we do perpetuate our own pain, I think love is more complex than that. Love is not only about happiness, unconditional acceptance, and thoughtful action. When there is love, there is loss, whether through separation, divorce or death. Yes, how we feel about that loss is our responsibility, but claiming those events can't cause emotional pain is not true in my book of experience. I understand the point of your statement, don't get me wrong, but I think it's much easier said than done.
 

Lordpendragon

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LOL - Love at first hindsight - great line.

IMHO - The greatest love is sacrifice - so Naughty, perhaps you have to be willing to give before knowing that you will receive.

Re love and infatuation - infatuation is a specific emotion that can be understood through common actions and is often a part of love, whilst love is an ethereal concept, and thus the plaything of poets and romantics.
 

D_Humper E Bogart

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I just seem to fall for infaturations, but I'm far too good at double guessing myself. I don't trust my feelings at all.

Does make me sometimes act almost schizophrenic though! I think it's better to be happy with what you've got, even if it's only a dream, rather than loose your dignity. I've acted on instinct far too many times and the results have been messy.