love-sick

[D_ShiaLeTubeSteak]

where to start?

Ok, I'm a young bi guy living in a pretty active environment, but I don't seem to get any action? .. I don't really want the attention from the ladies, more from the guys but I'm having no luck atall.

I wonder if its me, but I consider myself to be reasonably attractive, and I can't seem to find any local gay/bi guys.
I've got with many girls, but I think the yearning for a guy is more because I havnt ever really hooked up with one.

Anyone have any advice atall? Its a difficult situation, so please nothing rude or sarcastic ...

Thanks guys
x

 

[D_ShiaLeTubeSteak]

need some advice guys, ...willing to hear Anything

 

[tominatlanta]

I would say that if you belong to a gym or fitness ctr of any sort - like LA Fitness here in Atlanta,- surely you can meet a gay or bi male after a few visits. You just stay aware of your surroundings. And big city or small, don't most cities have one bar that's known to be "mixed" ?
Tom in Atlanta.

 

[D_ShiaLeTubeSteak]

yeah I see what you mean, the gym I attend is all straight though ... And the local gay pub is fullof 40 yearolds and transvestites, yikes!

 

[Beanie]

ah i see your problem, maybe all the guys that are/would be interested in you have seen you with a few girls and just put you down as straight. maybe the answer is to be more aggressive in your search and show them that your not only into the ladies.

 

[D_ShiaLeTubeSteak]

You might be right, but I have a very camp voice, so its pretty much obvious? ...

 

[Beanie]

well i have never heard you speak so i cant comment on that but there are a few guys out there that couldnt be straighter and have camp natures and there are gay guys would are the generic big tuff straight guy archetype, so it isnt the be all and end all. the point is if they have only seen you with women then they are just going to think that you are only interested in women which will severely reduce the amount of guys that you can get with because they will write you off before they think about anything else.

can i ask, are you out to every one? just friends? just family?

 

[Corius]

BIGDICKJAKE, You might try the way that has worked for so many of us: Get to know some guys, get to know some of the really well. Friendships have a way of developing naturally and not all of the guys are the kind who will move with you beyond friendship to something more intimate, something more physical. My experience has been that it happens very naturally often when you least expect it; we all send out and respond to signals sent out by the other. Don't count on getting a response from everyone; some genuine friendships between men will never move to the point of sex; and always keep in mind that such friendships too are worthwhile. Ideally, when you are ready to move on to sex, both of you will, as it were, fall into each other's arms at the same time. The sex that follows is a kind of validation, affirmation, of the bond of friendship which has come to be between you. Don;t count on it but be ready for it when it happens. Such sex beats anything you will find by chasing after it and it just gets better with each repeat.
And, at your age, don't be too sure of your own sexual orientation. The discovery of the fullness and shape of one's sexuality is not a short trip. It takes time; you may be surprised at what you find out about it.

 

[D_ShiaLeTubeSteak]

lovely post curios. I appreciate your honesty, and I think your right.

And to beanie, I'm out to my closest friends and that's it. So, about 9.
Does this matter?

 

[Calboner]

"Lovesick" does not mean "not getting any action." It means being miserably in love with someone who does not return one's love. Quite a different thing.

 

[D_ShiaLeTubeSteak]

I wasnt using the dictionary defined version, more ... Lovesick in a sense of being deprived of something, like homesick.
I know I know its wrong, but to me I like
my own term. But thanks for notifying me.

 

[Corius]

BIGDICKJAKE, Hold on to that yearning to "know" and be with a man. I have been a happily married man for many years but I am glad that I also came to know that I could relate to men in a committed relationship. I have had many friends, both men and women, but only a few were ever long-term partners in a fully sexual way. I know I can relate to both men and women some of whom became my sexual partners. All of my former partners are still dear friends whom I continue to relate to and love though we no longer have any sexual relationship. Our society does not make for easy bonding in deep friendship between men. We need to challenge the attitudes which hinder male bonding. For a start, I believe men simply have to be more honest with themselves and with each other.

 

[killerb]

where to start?

Ok, I'm a young bi guy living in a pretty active environment, but I don't seem to get any action? .. I don't really want the attention from the ladies, more from the guys but I'm having no luck atall.

I wonder if its me, but I consider myself to be reasonably attractive, and I can't seem to find any local gay/bi guys.
I've got with many girls, but I think the yearning for a guy is more because I havnt ever really hooked up with one.

Anyone have any advice atall? Its a difficult situation, so please nothing rude or sarcastic ...

Thanks guys
x

have u considered the personals section of LPSG?

 

[D_ShiaLeTubeSteak]

Killerb, yeah I've posted two ads there with no luck atall,
and Corius, I don't feel like I need someone, I just really would like someone. I do treat my friendships as relationships, just not sexual ones, but I find whenn i make a Friendship, it stays a friendship and nothing more.

 

[Corius]

BIGDICKJAKE, you are right; we are all different. But looking back I recognize that back then and particularly my first relationship was not something I was actively seeking. But, when it happened it seemed so right and also the thing that I needed without my being aware of my need. There was a wonderful way in which my partners supplied my need; we complemented each other and in the process we celebrated our sense of completeness in our sexual contact. And that sex was great for both of us as persons and for strengthening the bond between us.

 

[killerb]

Killerb, yeah I've posted two ads there with no luck atall

ok, so much for that idea...
I really don't know what else to tell you except maybe you should go to places where a lot of dudes congregate...like sports bars, sporting events, clubs, etc...basically the more you put yourself out there, the better your chances of meeting someone...

 

[Kassokilleri2ff]

Killerb, yeah I've posted two ads there with no luck atall,
and Corius, I don't feel like I need someone, I just really would like someone. I do treat my friendships as relationships, just not sexual ones, but I find whenn i make a Friendship, it stays a friendship and nothing more.

Put some pictures up I'm sure you will get some responses.

On a side note, it must suck to be gay. I mean, if you like a guy, before you can do anything with him, you have to take a long time to get to know him and dig deep enough into him to find out if hes gay or not, and THEN if he is, then you can get started. lol. Damn, at least I know when i talk to a girl that she might like me right off the bat! lol.

 

[dudepiston]

Well, as long as the girl isn't lesbian, I guess you have a point. Not meaning to hijack his thread, but I have felt this exact way in my life.

That's been my problem with this all along and Corius may be right on some counts but mostly it sounds like he's lived something of a gifted life when it comes to finding friendships & personal relationships. None of this stuff ever worked for me (going to bars, etc) and guys don't want to be friends with me, nevermind intimate. And gyms? HAHAHA. You must be joking. Have you not read the multiple threads on here of guys getting sick of other guys 'coming on' to them at the gym? Even when I'm just trying to be friendly, the 'signals' I must send make the other guys run for cover. I would no sooner come on to some guy at the gym than I would stick my balls in a blender.

My deux cents.

Put some pictures up I'm sure you will get some responses.

On a side note, it must suck to be gay. I mean, if you like a guy, before you can do anything with him, you have to take a long time to get to know him and dig deep enough into him to find out if hes gay or not, and THEN if he is, then you can get started. lol. Damn, at least I know when i talk to a girl that she might like me right off the bat! lol.

 

[RedScrotum]

yeah I see what you mean, the gym I attend is all straight though ... And the local gay pub is fullof 40 yearolds and transvestites, yikes!

Maybe you should try the pub a little later in the night and see if younger guys come in then.

 

[Beanie]

well i was thinking if your friends know then why dont you go out on a night out with them somewhere away from where you live and just be open about it. itll give you confidence in yourself and it might get some guys