LPSG member pics vs. Girlfriend

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by SR_DaGreatWhite, Aug 2, 2011.

  1. SR_DaGreatWhite

    SR_DaGreatWhite New Member

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    Hey everyone, I just joined LPSG and I already feel kind of guilty for posting 3 pictures of my penis because I have a girlfriend. Now I love her very much and would never do anything to hurt her, especially never cheat on her but should I feel guilty about wanting to contribute to this site and show what I got? I have also in the past gone on sites like chat roulette and omegle and have showed plenty of girls my dick if they showed me their butt or boobs etc. should I feel guilty for this as well? Back in high school I had the reputation of having an "elephant penis" and people throwing comments at me especially other girls or sometimes guys making comments about the showers in front of girls made me feel kind of good. This led me to really enjoy getting other girls opinions on my size hence me joinging this site and showing on web cam sites. In my eyes its not like I am cheating on my GF or anything, I view it as harmless. Am I wrong?

    I really enjoy giving out and receiving compliments so I think that web cam sites and this site should be used for that. Like I said, I am very happy with my GF and I love her to death which makes me feel guilty for showin what I got on the internet. Can you guys help me out and give me your thoughts on me feeling this guiltiness?

    Thanks everyone
     
  2. D_Larry_Lowboys

    D_Larry_Lowboys Account Disabled

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    Cheating is a subjective term. One couple might have regular threesomes with other women, but as the girl hooks up with another guy, it's considered cheating.

    Another couple might have a guy on the side that they bring over to bang the wife every couple of days while the husband watches. If she kisses her stud, it's cheating.

    I've always thought that if you're doing something that you wouldn't do while your girlfriend is in the room, you're cheating. It sounds like that's what's going on with you. I'm not going to get on a soapbox and tell you that you're wrong. After all, I've cheated, and will probably do it again.
     
  3. bonerrific

    bonerrific Member

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    Share it with her, tell her how it makes you feel and that you are doing it or did it.
    If not, and you feel you are doing something wrong, then don't do it.

    It's all about the nature of your relationship. If you wouldn't be comfortable with her posting her boobs online then I would be careful about what you are showing.

    or just keep showin and hope nothing goes wrong, but if you feel guilty then you probably are hurting someone
     
  4. AdaramC

    AdaramC New Member

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    i've always said, if you have to ask yourself if it's considered cheating, chances are it is for you. Or one of those, if you found out your significant other did it, would you be mad/consider it cheating type of things.

    it's really up to you to decide, either way, impressive pics! but again, up to you haha
     
  5. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    If you can't share it with her/tell her about it, you shouldn't be doing it
     
  6. D_Tim McGnaw

    D_Tim McGnaw Account Disabled

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    I disagree a bit. Chatroulette is another matter because that's basically cybering, and cybering is a form of cheating, but having an LPSG gallery and enjoying the attention and compliments you receive about it isn't cheating IMO.

    The difference is the nature of the interaction, Chatroulette is a bit like meeting some random stranger in RL who shares your exhibitionism and enjoying some mutual sexual stimulation through flashing each other your genitals.

    An LPSG gallery is a lot more like having a profile on a social networking site and uploading only your most flattering pictures to it and enjoying it when a randomer leaves a comment saying "you have lovely eyes" or "your hair is beautiful" or "Wow you're hot!". And yes I know that your hair and your dick are not exactly alike but there isn't enough dissimilarity in the nature of the interaction you're soliciting to make it cheating IMO nonetheless.

    Now if you use LPSG and having a gallery as a way to encourage people to cyber with you, or you enjoy exchanging sexually explicit PMs with other members who started off as mere friendly admirers then I think you've stepped over the line into a form of cheating.
     
  7. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Oh, I totally agree that it isn't cheating, even in a monogamous relationship, however that's going by MY definition of cheating (and yours apparently).

    To expand on my earlier post - we all have different definitions of what we do and don't consider cheating. If a partner of mine posted pics on LPSG and flirted a little, I certainly wouldn't consider it cheating or breaking the unwritten rules of our relationship. However, I've known a number of women who would DEFINITELY consider it cheating (or at least 'breaking the rules').

    When I enter into a relationship (including FB relationships), I tend to see it as a contract that I have signed. It is my responsibility to find out what that contract says and stick to it. You don't like the contract? Don't start or stay in the relationship.

    So basically, even though I think people who get jealous or upset because their partner puts up a few pics or flirts on LPSG are ridiculously possessive, I also think it's their right to design their own contract. If the OP believes putting up some pics would be against his partner's contract, he needs to either re-negotiate that contract, take his pics down, or end the contract.

    Possibly a weird way of seeing things, but it's mine :tongue:.
     
  8. SR_DaGreatWhite

    SR_DaGreatWhite New Member

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    Thanks for everyone's opinions so far. I also agree that a profile on here is no big deal since I am not trying to have cyber sex or anything like that. And for the web cam site thing, I have stopped for good because of what my GF would think and it has kind of showed me how much I really care about my GF and that I shouldn't take her for granted. In a way, it has made me strengthen our relationship by treating her nicer etc. This is the positive side of me showing off in the past. I think we all make mistakes and I made mine but I have learned from them.
     
  9. D_Tim McGnaw

    D_Tim McGnaw Account Disabled

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    I'm less rigid in my view of relationships than that. Though I respect your view too.

    I think that you don't stop having an inner personal emotional and psychological world which can and should remain private even though you are in a relationship. Being in love doesn't necessarily mean sharing absolutely every last detail of this inner world.

    In fact I think it's unhealthy not to have a small private psychological space in which you continue to explore aspects of your emotions, sexuality, personality or whatever, alone and without sharing your discoveries with anyone else.

    You don't become homoousios with your partner when you fall in love with one another, no matter how it may feel like you do. I also don't think you're obligated to divulge the fact that this small part of your psyche remains private at the outset of a relationship. I think reasonable adults presume the existence of this last remaining vestige of privacy in any case, or at least they should.

    The point being that no one can be a full human being if their entire inner world is completely under the scrutiny of another person.


    I suppose this informs my attitude towards cheating, which is probably somewhat different to most people's.
     
    #9 D_Tim McGnaw, Aug 2, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2011
  10. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    Personally, I wouldn't give two shits but I'm not the one you're in a relationship with. If you feel bad either stop or talk to her about it.
     
  11. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Rigid makes it sound so bad! I would have called it . . . well ordered :biggrin1::tongue:.


    Your view seems reasonable to me on the surface, but in reality I'm all about the sharing. While it seems reasonable to me that some people might want a corner of their mind to themselves, I can't quite understand WHY they would want one. Sharing everything feels right to me. I've often said that I wish that I could just download all that I am into a partner's brain so they could know everything and understand everything that is me.

    And to make sure I'm still on topic, I would want my partner to share that they were on a site such a LPSG. I wouldn't actually care that they were here, or that they had pics up, nor would I feel the need to check their activities, but I would want to know. If they didn't tell me, I would feel as though they were keeping silent about it because they WERE planning to 'break the contract', even if they hadn't yet.

    What sort of things would you count as being part of a private (and acceptable) psychological world that others might see as cheating?
     
  12. dolfette

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    if she finds out will she dump you?

    you can philosophise on relationships if you like, guys, but that's the crux of the matter :tongue:
     
  13. B_Castello

    B_Castello New Member

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    I think you pictures are anonymous (and very hot), and if you just like to be compliment and it doesn't go futher then that (no cyber sex), I dont see why you have to feel guilty, and I dont see any reason to tell her. On the other hand, if you put your face, and by any chance someone recognize you and tell her, that would be a different case. I wouldn't worry :)
     
  14. D_Tim McGnaw

    D_Tim McGnaw Account Disabled

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    You're right, I should have said, straightforward rather than rigid. :wink:




    I must say that degree of complete disclosure sounds like a form of hell to me, perhaps that shows me up for the selfish, secretive, emotionally unavailable prick I am :wink:, but nonetheless I am who I am, and if my partner were unwilling to see that I need a small degree of psychological privacy no matter how much I love them and wish to share everything else about me with them then I don't think I could be in a relationship with them.




    Oh don't get me wrong though, I'm not playing with definitions, cheating is cheating.

    There's an intrinsic deal involved in this expectation of limited psychological privacy, and that is that you keep whatever you wish to keep private absolutely private. You must do everything in your power to keep it private and if you fail at that for whatever reason you need to be fully prepared for the consequences of failing to maintain your cordon sanitaire (so to speak).

    People cheat for untold reasons, and it's completely unreasonable to presume that anyone can maintain a spotless record of emotional or sexual probity over the course of a substantially long term relationship. If they do then you're fucking lucky, but I just don't believe it's the norm.

    Some forms of cheating are deeply selfish, they aren't even about the person you happen to be cheating with. They're about something entirely personal and unrelated to anyone else or anything else. Sex is that deep rooted in our psychological makeup.

    If you cheat and do everything in your power to keep it absolutely private and succeed in that and can cope (happily) with having secrets all your life, and you're partner is neither especially troubled or even aware that you may have one or two secrets nor ever troubled by your inability to maintain that absolute secrecy then I don't think you have done something which is objectively wrong.


    We're all human, we all do selfish and grubby things sometimes, anyone who says they never have is lying. The point is that you have to be able to do everything it takes for these selfish and grubby acts to effect no one but yourself. If you don't do that then you're an irresponsible and cruel, selfish, grubby pig. It's when your actions effect other people that your actions are fair game for moral judgement.

    And since most people can't keep secrets terribly well (or don't even bother to try because their entire intention is to cause harm and hurt), and don't have the self discipline and regard for the feelings of those they love cheating is not to be recommended or excused.
     
  15. yoursgetsmine

    yoursgetsmine Member

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    It's anonymous according to your photos......with the face being blocked, so just take a few photos of your girlfriend naked, block her face and post them on this site and other sites as well. If that bothers you, well then, take both yours and hers down because that will answer your question.

    By the way, thanks for the nice dick photo in the shorts!
     
  16. D_Tim McGnaw

    D_Tim McGnaw Account Disabled

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    This is the best advice really though, so ignore my ramblings, Dolfette (as ever) has boiled the problem down to the essentials. :tongue::redface:
     
  17. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    :biggrin1:


    It sounds like heaven to me! Definitely not selfish, secretive, etc on your behalf, just different. A kind of different I don't really understand :tongue:, but not necessarily bad.


    Ah see, it's the contract!! This is what I mean when I talk about a contract. The 'contract' is all about understanding and accepting what you've signed up for, living up to your end of the bargain, and not expecting the other person to change (although they inevitably will, just not in the ways you expect them to). It's not so much about some ideal, societal version of what is right or desirable, but a more personal sense of what is and isn't right for us. A person getting into a relationship with you needs to understand that you need psychological privacy, a person getting into a relationship with me needs to understand that I'm all about openness and sharing.


    Except that not everyone agrees on what is and isn't cheating. I was just wondering if your psychological privacy theory impacted on how you personally saw it.


    That sounds like the kind of logic I would apply to it if I were to go in for the psychological privacy thing. Makes sense to me.


    I totally agree with both these paragraphs, if you assume cheating to mean 'having sex with someone who is not part of your monogamous relationship'. I truly don't believe people evolved for very long term monogamy.

    I DON'T agree if cheating is assumed to be 'breaking the rules of a contract (in my sense of the term) between you and another'. I believe it is possible for people to have long term relationships that do not include this kind of cheating, as long as the contract is appropriate and re-negotiable.


    I think this is a totally valid theory (sorry, brain not working and can't think of the word I want - theory will have to do), and I've known more than one person it would work for. Personally, I want to know! (No surprise there :tongue:). And not necessarily so I can end the relationship. There is a good chance I will be understanding about it, but I really truly do want to know. Apart from the fact that I just like to know stuff, I also feel that the person should give me the opportunity to decide if want to remain with them knowing that the contract has been broken. It may just be that the contract wasn't appropriate in the first place and that it needs re-negotiating.

    I would have the same deal if I was ever to enter an open relationship. I wouldn't want to know all the little sexual details, but I'd want to know the basics - who, when, how often.


    Again, I agree, although I'm viewing it from a slightly different angle.

    Thank you for explaining your view point further. I feel as though I have a better understanding of where you're coming from now :smile:.


    You sorta have a point there :biggrin1:.
     
  18. dolfette

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    a concise one :cool:

    if words were ever rationed, you two would be fucked!
     
  19. spoon

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    i think you are the only one that can decide.
     
  20. Shawn8

    Shawn8 New Member

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    :werd:
     
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