LPSG not a fun place anymore?

[CardiffDillon]

Since I announced that I was leaving LPSG after almost 10 years I've been contacted by several members asking me to explain the reason for my decision.

I've always had a huge amount of fun on this site and I've met some truly wonderful people here, some of whom have become longstanding friends. One of the things I valued most about the place was the mutual respect that members showed to each other. There has always been very healthy banter amongst members, and differences of opinion, but generally it was lighthearted and good-humoured.

Lately there's been a change in that atmosphere. Some members are abusive to the point of causing great offence and great hurt to fellow members. Intolerance, bigotry, personal abuse and persecution have been masquerading as freedom of speech. Don't get me wrong, there have always been people that behaved that way, but it was made very clear to them that they were not the standards of behaviour that were expected from members here, or they were booted out immediately.

The thing that's changed recently is that those elements are being allowed to get away with their behaviour, and that has encouraged others to behave in the same way. That has ruined the site for me, especially when I recently became the target of the abuse from a small clique of members, just for daring to have a different opinion to them.

When I visit this site I come for enjoyment, a laugh, some relaxation, some friendly chat and banter with others, somewhere to get away from the stresses of the real world. What I've been getting lately is abuse and vicious comments about myself and other people. I found that I was getting afraid to log on because I didn't know what outrage I was going to read. For day after day I was just leaving here feeling upset, and no website is worth that. I have plenty of other places I can go and actually have fun.

I was very sad to leave, it wasn't an easy decision after 10 years, but until the owner and the moderators take a stand then I can't see myself coming back anytime soon. I'd like to leave thinking that I made a positive contribution to the site during my time as a member here, maybe others need to reflect on their contribution.

cheers

Dillon

 

[Gl3nn]

I'm sad to see you go Dillon.

Take care and have a happy life

 

[D_VictorVikkiTielVictoria]

It's a shame that you're leaving Dillon.
I know what you mean.
Over the past 6-7 years on many other message boards I've posted on,
and most of them have nothing to do with sex, have been taken over by disgusting disrespectful trolls whose only purpose is to piss people off and force them to leave a place they've called home for many years.
I guess it gives them some kind of power they never had as they probably got the shit kicked outta them every day when they were growing up.
Or maybe their "signifigant" other dominates them every single day.
I believe this attitude is a problem that has spread all over the world
Selfishness, rudeness and ridicule have taken the place of kindness,respect and goodwill towards our fellow man.
Now watch, some asshole is going to respond to my post and tell me to go fuck myself....Just wait and see.

 

[atomicTIGER]

Do you know Charlotte Church? Ever see her or her house?

 

[koval]

Hi Cardiff,

Sorry to hear you're leaving us :crying:. Your posts will be be sorely missed but I can understand where you're coming from and some comments from others do tend to border as libelous and harrasment.

Hope you have a great time what ever you do in the future.

Take care :hug:

 

[B_dumbcow]

Dillon, I suppose as a site grows bigger, naturally more trolls will become members alongside more non-trolls. But trolls seem to have a far larger impact than any normal member...
Of course the site must have flaws like any other... I think the mods do a cracking job but hopefully they will take and value what your experience on the site has told you.

You are definitely right that if a site is upsetting you, it's good not to get involved. But I don't think it's right that members like yourself are having to step back after receiving abuse and feeling bad vibes.
I know only usernames are banned. Maybe in more extreme cases (such as racist/sexist attacks/people who keep popping back up despite being banned and causing unnecessary kerfuffle), IP addresses should be banned.

I think the site is fun, but only if you can bring yourself to rise over the attacks and ignore the trolls will enjoyment be more likely.
Otherwise, you have some perfectly understandable reasons for leaving and your presence will be missed.

:hug:

 

[jumbo747jet]

Although I understand what it is you are not happy with at LPSG right now, I think leaving the site is the wrong thing to do.
A vast majority of us, many of us members for many years, know what makes LPSG the unique site is truly is.
Like you describe, we have had different opinions but our discussions have always been handled with mutual respect.

My suggestion, instead of leaving the site, is that anybody who feels that another poster is stepping over the line, being disrespectful or abusive, reports this to the moderating team.

Deciding what is abuse and what isn't can sometimes be very difficult to do but when several members report the same post, it can at least let the moderating team know that several members are unhappy with it, which can be a helpful deciding factor.

Just in case anybody isn't aware of how to report a post to the moderators, there is a little yellow icon with a ! on it, at the bottom left hand corner of each post. Click this icon and report the post.

Those of us who appreciate the LPSG site and want to keep it the friendly and open place it's always been far outnumber those who want to destroy things. Let's make those people know that we're not going to let them get away with it.


jumbo747jet, member since the birth of LPSG and part of the moderating team since 2007

 

[8060]

Personally, I haven't received any bad comments from anyone. I have seen them though so I understand where Dillion is coming from. Those ill comments and posts from others was the reason that I took the 'little break' from this site that I did. I came back though because I like it here. I've seen some members that have been on here for years and finally post about something in their head and they get bashed from other members to the point where their jovial thought has turned into cursing back at the members that 'happened to disagree with them.' "Shut the fuck" and everything like that. It's terrible. I post far less nowadays than I did when I first joined because of the exchange of ill words between memebers. It's like there's no golden rule of treating someone like you would want to be treated.

What's the point in having such a harsh tone with 'a stranger' about their thought when 'you' were extended the same courtesy? It's a mess. I believe that we all have experienced seeing a member's ID and just know that they're coming with some 'ill words' because that's all they seem to know.

I wish the absolute best to those that have decided to leave. Please find you Internet wherever you can. We're all lookin' for it.

Peace

 

[DaveyR]

I have to say a lot of what goes on does not bother me. I stay away from it if it does with one exception. When someone is looking for some help and guidance on a problem it pisses me right off when some wisecrack decides to make light of it or flames them.

I know that some of the problems posted about or advice sought is from trolls and is not serious but there seems to be an element here that think all "support and advice" threads are fair game for piss taking. That's wrong. This is supposed to be a support site after all. What happened to giving people a little benefit of the doubt until proved otherwise?

 

[Mem]

It's become too PC and you have to mind your P's and Q's.

 

[Gnashin Teefe]

i am really turned off by the political commentary on lpsg. there are plenty of other forums available for political ranting. agreed, some folks may view politicians as being bunch of "dicks", but aside from that why does politics even qualify as a relevant discussion topic here?

not fun, and not hot.

 

[MidwestGal]

Since I announced that I was leaving LPSG after almost 10 years I've been contacted by several members asking me to explain the reason for my decision.

I've always had a huge amount of fun on this site and I've met some truly wonderful people here, some of whom have become longstanding friends. One of the things I valued most about the place was the mutual respect that members showed to each other. There has always been very healthy banter amongst members, and differences of opinion, but generally it was lighthearted and good-humoured.

Lately there's been a change in that atmosphere. Some members are abusive to the point of causing great offence and great hurt to fellow members. Intolerance, bigotry, personal abuse and persecution have been masquerading as freedom of speech. Don't get me wrong, there have always been people that behaved that way, but it was made very clear to them that they were not the standards of behaviour that were expected from members here, or they were booted out immediately.

The thing that's changed recently is that those elements are being allowed to get away with their behaviour, and that has encouraged others to behave in the same way. That has ruined the site for me, especially when I recently became the target of the abuse from a small clique of members, just for daring to have a different opinion to them.

When I visit this site I come for enjoyment, a laugh, some relaxation, some friendly chat and banter with others, somewhere to get away from the stresses of the real world. What I've been getting lately is abuse and vicious comments about myself and other people. I found that I was getting afraid to log on because I didn't know what outrage I was going to read. For day after day I was just leaving here feeling upset, and no website is worth that. I have plenty of other places I can go and actually have fun.

I was very sad to leave, it wasn't an easy decision after 10 years, but until the owner and the moderators take a stand then I can't see myself coming back anytime soon. I'd like to leave thinking that I made a positive contribution to the site during my time as a member here, maybe others need to reflect on their contribution.

cheers

Dillon

While I have noticed things around here have changed in my nearly two years here one thing has always been pretty much the same. You get out what you put/contribute to the site. It is like that with most message boards.

I know some people may have a bad attitude, sometimes they just need to be reminded. I am very sorry you feel it's to the point you have to leave. I know on occasion I have taken breaks. Some people question why I am here, well that's my business. I've made some wonderful friends here and have found a great deal of support, which outweighs the shit we have to wade through some days. I don't/won't tolerate rude or inconsiderate questions anymore......the ignore button has become my friend.

I wish you well and if you decide to come back I am sure many people will gladly welcome you back!

 

[karlaz]

I've enjoyed some of your posts, Dillon, especially the ones about Aleshandre.
We had something in common.
The internet is a bit like life: full of a..holes and anyway nothing lasts forever.
I am sure you've got a life outside lpsg or any other website, so leave them alone and let them live their miserable existence.
I wish you all the best.
Hugs from Italy
Karl

 

[BigDallasDick8x6]

When I started the Bigger in Texas and the Meet Me At..... groups on this site I made them moderated -despite my lack of lots of free time- because I wanted them both to be civil places to meet others and converse. I've seen examples of what you're talking about and I definitely don't want that in the those two groups, so I made them moderated to keep the civil.

 

[Sklar]

Although I understand what it is you are not happy with at LPSG right now, I think leaving the site is the wrong thing to do.
A vast majority of us, many of us members for many years, know what makes LPSG the unique site is truly is.
Like you describe, we have had different opinions but our discussions have always been handled with mutual respect.

My suggestion, instead of leaving the site, is that anybody who feels that another poster is stepping over the line, being disrespectful or abusive, reports this to the moderating team.

Deciding what is abuse and what isn't can sometimes be very difficult to do but when several members report the same post, it can at least let the moderating team know that several members are unhappy with it, which can be a helpful deciding factor.

Just in case anybody isn't aware of how to report a post to the moderators, there is a little yellow icon with a ! on it, at the bottom left hand corner of each post. Click this icon and report the post.

Those of us who appreciate the LPSG site and want to keep it the friendly and open place it's always been far outnumber those who want to destroy things. Let's make those people know that we're not going to let them get away with it.


jumbo747jet, member since the birth of LPSG and part of the moderating team since 2007

Let me apologize in advance to Dillon as to what I am going to say because it might be a thread hijacker.

Jumbo, while I understand what you are saying, just the fact that it is YOU that is saying it is very scary to me. This isn't an attack on you but I find it scary that you say what I bolded above and yet you, earlier this year, I don't quite remember when, decided to start modifying peoples posts because YOU found certain things offensive in them.

Basically, you became Big Brother and unilaterally decided not only when somone stepped over the line but changed their words so that it lost impact to what they were saying.

Yes, there seems to be a problem with people causing disruption on purpose, although I'm not sure how often it happens or if it's the same group of people over and over again.

On reporting a post, how many people have to report it before it's taken seriously? If only one person reports it, does it have as much credibility as if 5 people reported it?

If said reported post is authored by a member who has been here a long time, will that be given less consideration than a post for someone who has only been here a few weeks?

Does a non moderator have to report it or can a moderator take a unilateral approach and head it off at the pass?

I do want to thank you for informing us on how to report a post as I never knew how before. It is something I'll consider if I do find things to be getting out of hand.

Sklar

 

[flame boy]

Sorry to see you go Dillon - hope you may come back and visit from time to time

Peace, Love & Hair Grease x

 

[Freddie53]

Yes, there seems to be a problem with people causing disruption on purpose, although I'm not sure how often it happens or if it's the same group of people over and over again.

On reporting a post, how many people have to report it before it's taken seriously? If only one person reports it, does it have as much credibility as if 5 people reported it?

If said reported post is authored by a member who has been here a long time, will that be given less consideration than a post for someone who has only been here a few weeks?

Does a non moderator have to report it or can a moderator take a unilateral approach and head it off at the pass?

I do want to thank you for informing us on how to report a post as I never knew how before. It is something I'll consider if I do find things to be getting out of hand.


Sklar

Sklar,

I will try to answer your questions. The first one was, "How often does a post have to be reported for the mods to take it seriously." I take all reported posts serously. I investigate them all. I will admit that if a ost is reported and I don't at first see a problem and I keep getting that post or other posts by the same person then I investigate further to see if I missed sometning the first time.

"If only one person reports it, does it have as much credibility as if 5 people reported it?" Yes, I check them all. However, if John Q reported 30 posts a day and they there is NEVER any evidence to substantiate it, then after a while, we would tend to not take that particular person's report as seriously. But yes to your question. My feeling is if we catch a problem early on, the damage is much less for us to have to deal with.

"If said reported post is authored by a member who has been here a long time, will that be given less consideration than a post for someone who has only been here a few weeks?" I don't beleive the amount of time the poster be reported has been here is a factor at all. I do believe that a person being reported past history is a factor. For instance, if Member A has been reported for making racists remarks in the past and is now being reported for making more racist remarks, then I defintely want to theck that out and soon. If that person was sent a personal note by a mod politely asking them not to make racists remarks and here is another racist remark, I am going to be ready for a formal warning or temp ban this time. If it keeps happening, then i am going to be for a permanent ban.

"Does a non moderator have to report it or can a moderator take a unilateral approach and head it off at the pass?" Moderators don't have to wiat until something is reported. Those reported posts help us moderate the board, but we find things our selves and we deal with them appropriately. Who discovered the problem doesn't matter. What does matter is what was discovered how serious is it? Has the person been warned for this wrong behavior before? ETC.

I hope I have clarified your questions. I was reading through the reported posts and saw this one.

 

[CUBE]

hope you come back after a break

 

[nudeyorker]

You know what? Not many things are fun anymore. Don't fold your cards. Stay around and try to make it fun again. The fun people will help. and the rest of them...F**K you you F***ing F***s!
You can't judge the future by the past!
mahalo and peace

 

[Deno]

Yeah, I sometimes find posts a bit lame, boring, and even presumptuous. Sometimes it seems people go out of there way to be a know it all, or just plain contemptuous. I figure in 300,000 accounts there has to be a bit of wave making. In a city of 300,000 probably at least 1,000 would be in prison. I try to overlook these things and Read just what seems interesting to me. I've found that if a persons post exceeds a few shorts paragraphs its better left unread. Good luck what ever you choose to do.