LPSG Should be LPSAP

Mr. Snakey

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:eek: It has its draw backs being big.Im not that tall so it can be real pain.Look at my profile pic.But to insult people.I think the people on here got it together.
 

RideRocket

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I missed the joke of the year by being gone all weekend?

I feel so... deprived at missing out. Oh, poor me, whatever will I do?

Anyway, I think I'll go surf some porn...
 

MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

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MajorBob said:
It appears no one can take a joke or a ribbing:biggrin1: on this site!:wink: gOTCHA!!!
Oy, looks like we got the Don Rickles version of comedy for LPSG.

And SURE!! We can take a joke; we've been humoring you & this thread for all of going on four pages, haven't we?

You ask me, you're the major joke for this one.
 

D_Elijah_MorganWood

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A DOG'S PRAYER

Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.

Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.

Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.

When it is cold and wet, please take me inside, for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to bitter elements, and I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth......though had you no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land, for you are my God, and I am your devoted worshipper.

Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.

And beloved master, should the Great Master see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me eternal rest......and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.
 

D_Elijah_MorganWood

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Sri Lankan Christmas Cake
(I omitted the vanilla essence, and added dried mango, pawpaw and melon for about half the raisins, sultanas and currants. I would probably add abit more raisins etc next time but I like the combination)

This cake combines traditional ingredients with exotic fruits and spices. In Sri Lanka, a marzipan made of cashewnuts is the only icing used.

(Preparation time 55 minutes. Cooking time 1 hour 15 minutes.)

INGREDIENTS Makes 2 cakes.

50g (2 oz) candied peel (use whole pieces chopped)

100g (3.5oz) chow (without syrup)(chop chunky)

100g (3.5oz) stem ginger (without syrup)

100g (3.5oz) raisins

300g (10oz) sultanas

125g (4oz) currants

225g (8oz) candied ash pumpkin or crystalised pineapple

225g (8oz) cashew nuts chopped

50g (2oz) almonds chopped

100g (3.5oz) glacé cherries (chop by hand leave chunky)

3 tablespoonsful brandy

3 tablespoonsful rose water triple strength

2 tablespoonsful honey

1 tablespoonsful vanilla

1/2 a nutmeg grated

2 teaspoonsful ground cinnamon

1 teaspoonful ground cardamom

1/2 teaspoonful ground cloves

225g (8oz) semolina

225g (8 oz) butter at room temperature

12 size 2 eggs

400g (14 oz) soft brown sugar



METHOD

1. Finely chop the fruit and the nuts (the first 10 ingredients). Put into a bowl together with the honey and essences (the brandy, rose water, vanila) and the spices (nutmeg, cinnamon, cardamom and cloves). Mix thoroughly and leave covered for 24 hours.

2. Double line 2 cake tins of diameter 20 cm (8") with lightly- oiled greaseproof paper. Put the oven on to 140oC (275oF)

3. In a medium-sized bowl, mix together the semolina and the butter. Separate the eggs. In a large bowl, beat the egg yolks together with the sugar until pale. Mix in the semolina. Add the fruit, a little at a time using a cutting motion, to make sure that the cake batter is thoroughly mixed in with the dried fruit. This movement provides a lot of wrist exercise!

4. Whisk half the egg whites until stiff. (The rest can be used for meringues.) Add 4 tablespoonsful of the egg whites and beat into cake mixture to slacken it. Fold the rest of the beaten egg whites and mix thoroughly. Put the cake mixture into the two tins and cook for about 1½ hours, or until a skewer when inserted comes out clean. Cool the cake on a wire rack. Once cold prick the surfaces with a skewer and pour two tablespoonsful of brandy over each cake. Cover with foil, place in an airtight tin and leave for a week before icing.

Triple strength rosewater is available from chemists shops. In Sri Lanka the christmas cake is cut into pieces and individually wrapped and served during the festive season. The marzipan is made from ground cashew-nuts.
 

Shelby

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MajorBob said:
It should be Large Penis Salf-Agrandizement Group. I have never seen so much self promotion in my life. I have seen hundreds of average sized guys who were BETTER adjusted people , not this crowd!:tongue: YOU do need support to GET OVER IT. A large one sometimes only brings embarrassment some times at best. I have never seen any real advantage in mine!:confused:


I'm way cooler than you bitch.
 

D_Elijah_MorganWood

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alex8 said:
Ooooh, that actually sounds thoroughly delicious. :dance:
It's too early in the season for it. It's quite difficult to make and requires some practise.

A much simpler bread can be had as follows.
I made the bread in the food processor which makes it a lot quicker to knead but since there is usually a huge mess I don't make bread too often.

Feather Bread (bottom loaf)
4-4.5 cups bread flour
2 tsp yeast (he recommends 2 packs instant)
1 tbs salt
1 tbs sugar
1.5 cups hot water (120F)
1/3 cup butter
1 egg white

Proof the yeast in the water with the sugar. Mix the dry ingredients and butter in the processor, add the yeast mixture. Pulse to blend. Add the enough of the flour gradually and pulse until the dough forms a ball. Knead for 45 minutes in the machine.

Leave to rise 1 hour, knead and shape, leave to rise a second time. Glaze with the lightly beaten egg white. Bake at 425F until done
 

D_alex8

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tallguypns said:
First you're giving us this wonderful prayer about your dog.


Next thing I know, you're cooking him.
And who in the name of all fuck gave you permission to bring bona fide (bone for Fido?) humor onto this thread? :rolleyes:
 

monsternmypant

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MajorBob said:
Must have waken up some of those with their brains in their crotch! I love the guy who has over a hundred pictures in a swin suit showing his large crotch! We KNOW where he keeps his brains! FEW JOB INTEVIEWS BEGAN WITH "HOW bIG IS YOUR COCK?"
If they do I was at the wrong joBSite:biggrin1: .


And some of us have magnificent young minds in our skulls, as well as glorious members in our pants! That makes us a double threat, understanding how much men and women will do to connect with our cocks, and working things to our advantage. In my case, I've furthered my college career and pretty much secured a terrific professional life in international relations by hooking up with the right guy at the right time and enjoying the perks....not to mention a great athletic hole and some fabulous trips around the globe as his assistant.
 

madame_zora

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And some of our members have actually used their huge cocks as ski poles to save their father-in-laws' lives. Really, I read it on the interweb.
 

Lex

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madame_zora said:
And some of our members have actually used their huge cocks as ski poles to save their father-in-laws' lives. Really, I read it on the interweb.

I, for one, have used mine as a oil dipstick. Yup. It can repair your CAR!!


PLZBLEVIT.