Dearest Mocha Almond Fudge,
Du hast mich?!
Yes, I love you baby
The above was my homage to your bouts of what is undoubtedly tourette's. Now, on to real questions:
When you and I finally have our Diva-off, which one of us will take on Whitney and which of us will take Holliday?
You know I will be the cracktastic Miss Houston!
Halfway through those performances, when you finally realise how badly I'm out-fabulousing/fiercing you and you decide to cut me as your final stand, will you mince, dice or splice [with a platypus] me?
After I tell you to stop entertaining your delusions of grandeur, I will silence you with my stunning performance of "I Will Always Love YOU" and then dice you using JCrew1984's famous red knife.
Complete the following sentence: When yo' booty go round, all the...
all the ladies hit the ground!
Describe your musical tastes.
Although much maligned by some amigos here (*cough* clarkkent2583 and BeautifulBreakdown), I love me some divas. I want a song that is powerfully sung and makes me feel things. I especially am enamored with sad love songs. At the same time, I love a good rumpshaker to just let go and be free.
Super-power, sidekick, costume-- GO!
Teleporting, you, hot pink g-string with matching go-go boots.
Mary J. Blige, Barry White, Gladys Knight-- sing like one, fuck one, [re]kill one-- GO!
Get my swerve on with MJB< sing like Gladys and send Barry back to the dead.
Never found anyone to fulfill your needs? Remember, never walk behind anyones' shadows.
Don't fail me. Learning to love myself was the greatest love of all.
Favourite MJ song? Music video? Do you love him as a performer half as much as I do?
Bad is my favorite MJ song. My fave video by him is Scream. Still untouchable 15 years later. I love him as a performer twice as much as you do
If killing Nick Cannon would bring Mariah Carey back to her prime, would you do it?
No. Change is inevitable in Diva land.
Most inspirational artist (of any art)?
The painter Jacob Lawrence.
If you could be any one animal, which would you be and why?
A tiger, because they have great bark.
Lactating-- hot or not?
Most def not.
Should I have quit asking questions by now?
About 8 questions ago
Well, too fucking bad, eat me.
I've got my spoon ready.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Where do you want to be in 5 years?
Sharing my writing voice on a larger stage. Happily married.
Church hats-- do or don't?
Do--if you are a woman of a certain age.
Did I miss your performance of that Bowie song? Because if I did...
Yes, you sure did. It was cringe-inducing.
What's worse: bad laugh or big nose (we're talking freakishly large schnoz)?
Bad laugh.
One moment in your life you could forever forget, which is it?
Be as detailed [or not] as you're comfortable with being.
The moment I realized one of the people I loved the most had been lying to me for nearly a year.
Alright, you are dismissed, cretin. I expect answers to each of these questions, and for every one you miss...well, a punishment will be assigned.
No punishment required.
Nubs is a fucking joy.
