LPSG Spotlight: Señor Rubirosa

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

I am just eating this thread up with a spoon but, really, Rubes, out of appropriate context "squirt" is such an ugly word. I will not "squirt". Oh, and oddly, the JT, JB thing struck a discordant note. I have you under an entirely different letter in my address book.

You will not squirt?
That's what they all say.
But they all do.
I think I know what the JT thang is.
But what's the JB thang?
Jeff Black? Horrors.

When did you perfect the art of using the invisible typeface?

About two years ago.
I call it whispering.

One important quetsion: How was your day? :smile:

It was a good day.
Hung over at the beginning, and then spent a riotous six hours in a bar with someone many of you may think you know.
One drink each.
I'm now phyne, pieter.

Rubi Said:
"A philosophy BA and a graduate degree in journalism."
Sarah Palin has a degree in journalism too.........wanna run for Vice Prez?

Hey, she's much better educated than me.
Went to five schools of higher education against my three.
No, I think she's the definitive VP candidate for our times, Indie.
Mind you, there are a few Neiman Marxist dresses I've had an eye on for a while ...
Let's talk next week.

 

[Mr. Snakey]

Hey C, if you had to pick one book to take on a desert island what would it be?

 

[Novaboy]

Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Comunist Party?

Novaboy

 

[nudeyorker]

Who is the most interesting person you have ever met?

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

AAHHHHHHHH!!!! Senor Rubi!!!! :kiss:
About bloody time you were in the spotlight! :biggrin1:
What's your favourite mode of transport?

At the moment, bicycle.
As my legs return to their former piston-thighed glory, increasingly ... shoes.

Have you ever done anything dangerous? If so, what?

Consenting to go into the mountains outside Marrakesh with some very beady-eyed and canny fellas who knew, by virtue of my being able to come to their country, that I had far more money in my pocket than they had ever had in theirs ... a situation they sought to remedy as quickly as possible.
But my canny Canuck country wiles sorta triumphed.

You're accidently locked in a department store overnight. What would you do?

Neiman Marxist?
I would try on dresses.
What else?

Do you have any fears? If so, what are they?

Oh hell, K8. As a human, I have 37,000 fears.
My main fear is that I will pay attention to any of them.

You allergic to anything?

Yup.
Skin allergies to certain types of metal (nickel is bad) and varnishes.
Asthmatic ... so my lungs react with great displeasure to oil-based paints, dust, moulds of various kinds.

Is there any one thing you are intolerant of in others?

Real meanness I find very unattractive, K8.
Or an insistence in having, always, a complete control of the social space.

ps I miss ya! Time went far too quickly!
You're wonderful!

I miss you, K8.
Hope you're having a fine holiday.

Hey, me too! However, based on your reading list, I get the sense that you have stuck with it more than I have.

I didn't really stay with philosophy.
It gave me a kind of template for discussion of all sorts of matters.
But philosophy itself, I've pretty much forgotten.
I recently interviewed a philosophy prof, though ... and I was still able to pull up a few more or less coherent things to say about Descartes.
In a way, philosophy is comparatively useless ... and in a way, it's the most broadly educating of the arts courses.
I wish I had at least subscribed to a philosophy journal, just a to keep a lil' hand in ... but I was just not that serious about it, I guess.

I sometimes wonder if I should have studied journalism. It's a bit more vocational than my other degrees, and perhaps would have led to a more satisfying career.

Journalism is well paid considering the amount of time it takes to qualify for it.
And of course, there are still a certain number of people who enter the field each year with no formal training ... just a certain talent for extracting meaning from texts and for writing (assuming they're doing print journalism), and a whole lot of gumption. Some of the best came in that way.

Rubi is over qualified...he has a graduate degree!

Hear hear.
And let's face it ... Palin was just the, oh most Palinesque creature on the planet ... and John McCain, bless his fading lil' eyes, found her.
We shall not see her like again.
Knock on wood.

Seno, our paths rarely cross but I'll always count you as a friend.

Ditto, eddy.
We've had an odd and unaccountable connection.
But I like it.

Question....
In your quiet moments, what do you dream of?

Fantasies?
Performing Brahms' Intermezzo, op. 117 no. 2 in B-flat minor, with perfect command in, oh, Carnegie Hall ... with a sweetness, delicacy and firmness (let the puns fly) that let the larks fly out from the most intimate chambers of Brahms' heart to the far corners of the room.
Or maybe some Debussy or sumpin ... Bach, fo' sho', or Scarlatti, or ...
Like I said, it's a fantasy. A recurrent one.

Do you own a car or take public transportation?

Don't own a car at the moment.Take public transportation or taxis.

What countries have you been to?

United States, United Kingdom, Ireland (but only an airline stop), Holland, Belgium, France, Spain, Morocco, Italy, Pakistan, Azerbaijan.

Are you happy?

Only for moments.
No one can say more than that.
If they claim to, they're deluded. Happiness rises and falls like everything else. It is not a condition but an experience.
Am I happy to be alive? Am I feeling alive? Fundamentally opening more and more to the world?
I think so, numbuzz.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

"Aha," spake Caesar, "I guess this must be the Rubicon." :wink:

"Rubicon."
Testament, once again, to your ... antennae, my dear Heinz ... the inspiration, at once, of the most intense adoration and the most contracting self-consciousness.
But you knew that.

I found the following five questions scribbled on the underside of a flavoured condom, and trust that you shall at least appreciate their minty freshness.

Charming. We expect more of a Cadbury whiff from yours, Heinz. Now, mint. This is indeed good.

uno) When did you first develop an interest in Porfirio?

TBH, I was probably 11 or so.
I began reading, about once a year, about this famous Latin lover with the prodigious qualifications as Lothario, ladies man, and palomino.
I thought that his career in diplomacy was impressive, too ... really, I did.
And the women he bedded were the most famous in world.
Mind you, I couldn't remember his name, but after encountering him in the odd magazine piece year after year, I finally had a handle to associate with that vision, so entrenched in my mind, of his extraordinary trapezius muscles, so well balanced, so reeking of virility.
When I joined LPSG, I had to have a name, and of course, I thought of Rubi.
And then I became a Rubi Scholar, wrote the famous books, and the rest is history.

dos) Have you ever participated in a sexual four-or-more-some?

Four. Once. France. Le Luberon, to be precise. Tobacco breath. Screaming through open windows. Armagnac. Une Gauloise. Stupor. Morning farts. Une baguette, du fromage, un café. Remords à la mort.

tres) When ogling the LPSG gallery, are you drawn more strongly to images of rumps or images of frontispieces?

Well, there are rumps of frontispieces, too, Heinz.
While I think there is more art to a good end than a good beginning, I would have to plump for frontispieces.
Good question.

cuatro) Complete the sentence: Señor Rubirosa's broad popularity at LPSG can be attributed to.....

... his kindness to broads, old and young.

cinco) Since today marks the 43rd anniversary of the death of Dorothy Kilgallen; do you believe she died of natural causes, committed suicide, or was murdered?

Probably natural causes.
No matter how many legions they enlist, I refuse to believe in conspiracies.

 

[B_Nick8]

You are, as I knew you would be, every bit as fascinating as I'd hoped. But Rubes, why, oh why, does no one seem to get the peppercorn reference? :wink:

 

[Axcess]

Why chuck norris is the best ? and why the joker is so insane?

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

I did nothing of the sort.
If you are going to lie, I'm going to have to make you answer really challenging questions, Rubi.

Anyone sitting downwind from you in the same football stadium would say you really spilled the beans, Jeff.
Sorry, dude, if it hurts, but ...

1) If you were to choose a monster to have dinner with, who would it be and why?

A human monster? Present company excepted?
Fidel Castro? Maybe not a monster (though I wouldn't say that on the streets of Miami), but a fascinating man.
Stalin, perhaps. He was an extraordinarily intelligent man and very deeply cultured. His early poetry was anthologized, long before he became a Commie honcho.
He once heard a Mozart piano concerto played so beautifully that he burst into tears.
And yet ... he was indeed a monster.
How can the best and the worst of human impulse reside so equably in one person?
That is what I might like to think about while speaking, over Khinkali and vodka, with Koba.

2) Why have you chosen to live in Ottawa?

Came for a job.
Long sad story.
Stayed for other things.

3) Will you ever travel the globe?

Well, I did a bit.
Will I travel very much again?
Don't know. I hope to. Haven't seen much of Africa nor any of Latin America.

4) Do you know how to drive?

With a stick shift?
Yes, and yes.
I don't really park, but I do stay stationary.

5) Can you explain how gravity works?

No one can.
Not really.
So, no. Of course not.

Tu m'aimes longtemps?

Depuis toujours, mon vieux.

Would you wish to live to 250?

Don't really think about.
But if I could live to that age, with the aging process slowed, so that at 100, I was effectively 35 ... at 200, I was 70, and at 250, I was 87 ... sho', why not?
But I don't think about it.
I like to think that I accept the reality that birth is a sentence of death, with no commutations.

Favourite Poet and poem?

I love Shakespeare's sonnets. ("Let me not to the marriage ...," Sonnet 116.)
Fern Hill by Dylan Thomas really grabbed me in my salad daze.
I like some of Charles Bukowski's poems, one in particular ... the title of which I can't for the life of me remember.
But poetry is fading as an enthusiasm.

How many hats do you have?

One, I think.
Never, never wear hats.

Why do people do that?

Feels as real to them as anything else.

Will there be a woman Pope?

No. His heroic couplets were too masculine.

Do you have a sports hero?

Not really.
Never watch soccer but I've developed some interest in Michael Ballack, Chelsea's number 13, though I imagine there's some exaggeration there.

Who has made you laugh more than anyone else?

One of my best ever friends, a former Second City director, who could have me in stitches for hours.

Favourite painter?

Lucian Freud, maybe.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

Hey Seno Rubi,
I have aways had great respect for you as a person, LPSG friend and member, which has developed as a result of our messages and posts we have exchanged. Having read your answers to the many questions posed by the members, I have warm to you even more. Like you my father was my rock, although it is ten years since he departed from this life I still miss him greatly everyday. Reading your account of your father brought back many memories for me, ironically it being Rememberance Sunday today. I was deeply sadden to hear that your treasured camera was stolen, although we are both Buddhists, it is still difficult not to have attachment to certain material things
Continue to be the person you are, much loved and respected
Much love and blessings
Smartalk xx

Well, Smartalk, that was so altogether kind and gracious that all I can really say is Thank You!
Do not worry about the camera.
My father's greatest gift to me was himself.
Which lingers.

 

[Ethyl]

Which of the five senses is most acute for you?

What would you like to accomplish next?

Have you ever been attracted to a woman? I don't necessarily mean in the physical sense

How do you typically dress?

What would you suggest we drink when we finally meet?

 

[Meniscus]

6) How many LPSG members (and their owners) have you met in real life?

Only two, in the flesh, as it were.
But I instant message a fair number and have spoken with several over the phone.

And what led to these meetings and/or telephone conversations? More broadly, how do you become friends with people you meet on lpsg (or elsewhere on the Internet) beyond replying to each other's posts?

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

Rrrrrrrrubirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrosa!
When? Where? What? How? Who? Why? And, most importantly, wherefore?
Or if you prefer a slightly more specific line of questioning:
What's your favourite LPSG thread of all time?

Oh gosh, you know how to sprain a dude's brain, donchuh, MB.
I honestly can't come up with one.
You know, I don't look back on delightful experiences too much.
I look at the experience unfolding now.
Or, I try to.
Does much more for one's sense of contact with one's own life.

What was the last cheese you ate?

At this very moment? The grated Parmesan I had on my fettucine not five minutes ago.
But cheese as cheese, and not as condiment?
A Stilton, two days ago ... sliced and placed on toasted Montreal bagel.

Do you and rec go dutch? :naughty:

Only when we want to stick our fingers in a dyke.

Why do we never get an answer when we're knocking at the door with a thousand million questions about hate and death and war?

Because the answer is too simple.
We are almost totally irrational.
Hate, death and war ... but also disputation, envy, revenge, most ambition, most longings, most indifference, lah di dah ... begin with a state of contraction.
We don't want contraction. Not really.
But the pattern of contraction, different for every person but broadly similar among all people, tells us we're here ... and if we ain't feelin' jiggy, at least we're alive.
Open the space and we experience what we really long for ... but with an accompanying, queazy sense that there's nobody there. Because the familiar patterns of consciousness, of self-recognition, are gone.
So we hang on to all the crazy things we do ... faintly aware that they're ridiculous, but wedded to the far more ridiculous notion that the only alternative is extinction.

Who?
What?
Where?
When?
Why?
How?

Answer as you see fit.

As I see fit ...
Don't take this the wrong way, SpoLLe ... but I'm going to have to phukh you one of these daze.

...and finally, who did you and rec talk about over drinks? Anyone I know? :wink:

Mostly about Bertrand Russell, but he has an interest in Foucault and in Jacques Lacan that was completely unknown to me.

 

[deleted157868]

As I see fit ...
Don't take this the wrong way, SpoLLe ... but I'm going to have to phukh you one of these daze.

Que?

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

Rubi, my friend,
If you could initiate any government policy which would it be?

State medicine in the U.S.

If you were a porn star, what would your name be?

Well, the name I most often use is White Pony.

Do you have regular pedicure or manicure service or a personal massage therapist?

No. I have had a chiropractor at times, and I am thinking of going to see an osteopath, but nothing of the kind you mention.

Do you prefer to shop online or in person?

In person, but I am shopping more and more online.
(I like to actually have something in hand before I lay down cold cash. I would almost never buy clothing online, for example. (But who knows? Maybe I will one day.)

How do you take your coffee?

Fairly strong, cream, no sugar.

Can you tie a bowtie?

No. (Did you know that bowties give an air of dishonesty to other peeps? I could never get away with openly advertising my faults.)

Do you play an musical instrument?

Piano, mainly. Love the instrument, and wish I had been more serious about studying it as a child.
I am thinking of resuming study.
I also have played recorder, tuba and trombone, though some would choose another, more homicidal verb.

Did you ever have an imaginery friend?

Probably in a small way.
I mean, if I saw a film and loved one of the characters, I think I would have imaginary conversations for a few days with that character.
But one main imaginary friend who was in my head at least for several months?
Nope.

Which do you prefer, showers or baths?

Baths.

What's the last thing that you do before you get into the bed for the night?

Fairly often, it's a short but very relaxing, maybe seven-minute yoga set.
Zzzzzzz.

Two of my staple questions:
Favorite gulity pleasure?

I can give you only one hint -- if you love it like I do, and a surgeon offers to end your carpal tunnel syndrome ... you'll let him.

What's the easiest way to get into your pants?

Wish to, and say so.
(But hey ... I am exaggerating a bit, quite a bit these dry daze.)

Some others:
Where do you see yourself in five years?

No idea. But hope to be doing certain things creatively that I have put off too long.
Details? Nope. Sorry, p_w.

Name someone that totally scares you.

I knew a shaman once who scared me shitless.
Not a shaman at all, in the real sense, of course.
Can't name him. Solly.
There are peeps who scare the bejesus out of me, but I can't come up with any just now.

What was your favorite childhood toy?

My parents gave me a telescope when I was, I think, eight ... and I just loved it. Spent hours hiding in grass and looking at everyone. Looking at birds. The moon.

Ever wanted to be famous?

That's probably my greatest attachment. I have always wanted to be famous. It's just a background longing.

Do you have any embarrising habits?

Yup.

and is there a reason for the Justin Timberlake avatar?

Not really.
I had the probably fatuous idea that that dude in the pic looked a bit like me ... particularly his gaze.
Didn't know it was JT.
(Jeff Black, in fact, was the one who alerted me.)

Rubi, darling - there really is only one question I can ask, it is the most important question one great man can ask another
- What is your favourite Christmas / Holiday CD?

Oh please, flame boy.
There can only be one.
A Chipmunk Christmas, from 1981.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

1. Do people ever tell you that you look like Robert Deniro?

I do hear that in my finest moments, I resemble him in the early scenes in Awakenings.
Zzzzz.

2. Did you have fun speaking in code?

Or maybe: Do you have fun playing the mandolin?
And I'd have to say No ... because I've never played the mandolin.
D'oh.

3. Which Durrell novel would you reccommend?

Justine, the first volume of The Alexandria Quartet.

4. Do you really want to know what I think about Hemmingway?

Never heard of Hemmingway.
Oh ... Hemingway!!!
This afternoon was a moment of quite clear expostulation upon the subject. (Death In the Afternoon, anyone?)
It is a moment of agony I shall remember at least as long as my exit, tomorrow in the forenoon, from the oxygen tent.

Hey C, if you had to pick one book to take on a desert island what would it be?

Making Rain™ by Andrew Sobel.

Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Comunist Party?

No, but my epidemiologist is certain I've been a fellow traveler.

Who is the most interesting person you have ever met?

I draw a blank, nudie.
Many come to mind, but ...

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

You are, as I knew you would be, every bit as fascinating as I'd hoped. But Rubes, why, oh why, does no one seem to get the peppercorn reference? :wink:

Well, it helps if you're eating a meal in a poorly-staffed (now there's a pun) European resto, Nick.
And this being an American site ...

Why chuck norris is the best ? and why the joker is so insane?

Simple questions.
Are you and SpoLLe working together?
Chuck Norris is the best because he can kill two stones with one bird.
The Joker is insane because the makeup makes his contact dermatitis flare up.

Which of the five senses is most acute for you?

Two ways of answering this.
In terms of the actual physical acuteness, I think smell is my most acute sense.
But I think my consciousness is most affected by what I hear, even though my hearing is no great shakes at all, mb.

What would you like to accomplish next?

I want to write something that represents the best I can do.
Now, I need little things like a subject, a way of financing the project, a bit of conscious self-training ... small things like that.

Have you ever been attracted to a woman? I don't necessarily mean in the physical sense.

I had a period, from about the age of 11 to 11 1/2, of intense physical attraction to women. Don't know where that went.
Now, more broadly: I find women every bit as attractive as men.
So yes, I have been attracted many many times to a woman.
(I don't want to prejudge, but I would feel a bit sorry for someone who couldn't say the same thing.)

How do you typically dress?

I have a tendency to underdress.
I'm not a great one for suits.
I wear Dockers™, jeans, sometimes sweats (particularly if going to the gym) ... sport shirts, dress shirts ... never sweaters, because I have a hawt, hawt body, love (as you probably guessed), and I always do better without too many layers.
Lately, I'm dressing better.
The perhaps always illusory dweebish charm that I thought I was affecting seems quite uncapturable once you enter midlife.
Even Einstein started to look like he should find a better class of church basement.

What would you suggest we drink when we finally meet?

Still haven't had mead, mb.
But single-malt is probably the surest way to this man's liver, hon.
You'll know what to do.

Que?

Hey, SpoLLe ... lissen up, guy.
I have made a grievous error.
I don't really know you, and I shouldn't assume that my sometimes wacky sense of humor will be understood.
My joke (and it was a joke) was meant as a piece of hail-fellow banter about your impossibly difficult questions ... a kind of backhanded compliment, if you will.
But then I looked at your gallery just now and realized ... hey, when I was that kid's age, the president still went to Camp David on donkey back.
I should not make assumptions about shared ideas about humor.
So I apologize.
Forgive me, please.

And what led to these meetings and/or telephone conversations? More broadly, how do you become friends with people you meet on lpsg (or elsewhere on the Internet) beyond replying to each other's posts?

Well, someone has to make an initial contact beyond exchanges in threads.
So someone has to write that first PM.
I did that quite often ... in fact, came to enjoy taking the chance of not getting the response I was hoping for.
But it only happened two or three times in my three years on the site.
(Sometimes, of course, after an initial exchange, it became clear that there was little in common with a given person ... and then you let things fade.)
Once I was exchanging frequent PMs with a poster, one might exchange email addresses and even instant message addresses. (I was late to instant messaging, and now use it all the time. Mercurialbliss got me going ... couldn't believe that I was such a Luddite as to have never adopted it.)
It helps to make a point of appearing open and non-judgmental ... and to take those little risks, in the initial stages, that may spark online acquaintance into friendship.

 

[2322]

How do you reconcile your deep desire to be spiritually connected to others with your keen sense of existential loneliness?

What is your favorite fruit?

What is your favorite color?

What would you leave as an epitaph for humanity at the end of the world?

With which character in The Petrified Forest do you most identify?

Have you ever read the other Justine?

If I were to visit Ottawa, could we go out for drinks and dinner?

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

How do you reconcile your deep desire to be spiritually connected to others with your keen sense of existential loneliness?

I think that the two don't have to be reconciled.
Sense of loneliness would feed the desire for connection ... indeed, be almost the same thing.
Because loneliness is the sense of connection's absence.
(Unless I miss your point, Jason. It's happened before.)

Now, I have a further answer which I'm a bit wary of giving on what is really a big-dick site.
One doesn't need spiritual connection ... because one has it.
And a sense of existential loneliness is not inevitable ... because one can really understand that we are all breathing together, that we are all of the same substance, that the sense of us being separate outcroppings of consciousness is at bottom an illusion.
This is a bit mystical, I suppose, but I think reality is fundamentally like this.
Just why I think this, I wouldn't care to go into.

What is your favorite fruit?

The banana.
Monty Pythonish moment, I realize.

What is your favorite color?

I think green, Jason.
(It used to be very strongly green, but less so now.)

What would you leave as an epitaph for humanity at the end of the world?

Everything is impermanent, and nothing of this earth escapes ... yup.

With which character in The Petrified Forest do you most identify?

Duke Mantee. It's probably true that I never saw H. Bogart in any film without identifying more strongly with him than any other character.
(On the other hand, Bette Davis ...)

Have you ever read the other Justine?

Yes, not 20 miles from Lacoste, where De Sade had an estate.

If I were to visit Ottawa, could we go out for drinks and dinner?

Or course.

 

[D_Tintagel_Demondong]

Do you remember when you were a teen and you'd step out of the shower and wrap a yellow towel around your head and pretend that you were Bridget Bardo and if your parents weren't home, you'd strut around the house, naked, practicing your famous burlesque USO show to imaginary cheers, shaking your pretend titties to the GI's lined along stage, when suddenly a strapping Yankee sailor comes up on stage, grabs you, leans you back, and plans a kiss right on your mouth... bringing the house down, but then he throws you over his shoulder and takes you back to America where you rid yourself of your french accent and pop out a few kids?