I just want to thank my supporters (all 39 of you) for giving it the old college try and sticking by me. While I knew we'd be swimming against the tide when the emphasis starting became less about the backend and more about the frontend (like every other contest), but change never comes easy and always requires perseverance. So to my loyal supporters (all 39 of you) I am here today to concede graciously and ask you to accept your disappointment. I will not be demanding a recount, insisting on a forensic audit or encouraging you storm the halls of power in protest * (what you choose to do on your own, well...
). Please remember, our "Elect MOTO's Fine Ass" campaign may be over, but the movement will live on. You will go on. MOTO will go on. Mrs. MOTO will make due with a cheap, knock-off vibrator that will have "Genuine Rabbit" written on the side in permanent marker by an unknown person not named MOTO. But most all, MOTO will always think of his supporters (all 39 of you), in his thoughts & prayers (because MOTO knows voters love to hear those words) every time MOTO sits down. Thank you again. But just a reminder of what could have been:
* Disclaimer: MOTO's lawyers made MOTO say this for plausible deniability. Before attempting to overthrow a hall of power it is advisable to consult with a high-priced constitutional attorney or MOTO's brother-in-law Steve (whose actual name is Joe) who will give unverified advice on a sliding scale fee.