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erpap

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Long term relationships

Anyone wish to talk about their relationship...
the ups and downs of being in a long term relationship? Compatibly, sex or lack of, do you work on it or just let it be? And how do you keep it alive? Is it we get bored with the same person? How much do you fantasize about others? Do you think about cheating? And other questions or thoughts you may have please share.

I envy the people who have been in relationships for decades who still have the admiration, love, desire for each other. And I know it’s not all rainbow and roses it takes effort and work.
 
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RedDevilCock

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That's a good question. 2 Divorces myself. I worked and still do a lot and out of town. So apparently that was an open invitation to go out and screw around.
Sex was great when they wanted it and were okay with taking me. Communication has been the biggest key for my current relationship and actually listening and see what each other want to do or try.
After being cheated on several times yup think about it lots and if it's going to happen again or if I should just go out and open up some more and have ones on standby.
 

Scarletbegonia

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Desire has cycles. It’s affected by stress, time available, events in the world.

A relationship has to stand for a while when the sex is running low. Love, respect, patience have to hold the line, be the bridge.
This is true for all genders.
In a monogamous relationship, both parties need to be aware of when intimacy, emotional and physical shifts, and address it. Decent people don’t just look for a quick orgasm somewhere else.

In a relationship where sex is off kilter, desire not synching, the less delirious person can “give it the old college try.” Pain is a stop sign, but simply being too distracted? Make time for the person with whom you chose to build a life.
 
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cedarizzo

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I agree with the above, there are many things that make up a relationship. When most of them are running high, it is awesome. But when they all start to falter, it is horrible. Relationships aren't easy, they do need work. I have yet to be in one that ran smoothly on it's own without a lot of work from both parties. And if only one party is working on the relationship, it is doomed. No matter how hard the other party works, they won't be able to keep it going.

I've been with my partner for 11 years. We started off not wanting to date. For the first few years, he kept telling me that he did NOT want a relationship, he was only interested in being friends with benefits. I was okay with that. He is much younger than me. I didn't know if a relationship would work out and I was more than okay with just being friends with sexual relations. But it didn't take long for me to realize that he was actually wanting a relationship, he is just really bad about communicating about his feelings/emotions. We did break up for about 6 months. He dated another guy, let the guy move in with him, and when my partner wanted to come back to me, I had to kick the other guy out of his apartment. My partner ended up moving in with me, but after 3 years the relationship was going nowhere. We had a long talk, he found his own place an hour away. We still see each other, we have our own places. We stay with each other 3 or 4 nights a week. The other nights, we are apart. We've talked about how a serious monogamous relationship isn't for us. We have left the sex part of the relationship open. We have a few rules we stick to. But we trust each other and we always communicate. Communication has helped keep us together. It is a lot of work, but it is worth it.
 
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