lying about sexual partners

[NotSoDumb_Blonde]

The only times I've asked that question is when the girl and I were in a serious relationship and it was part of a "get to know more about you" kind of thing. I couldn't care less if she'd done hundreds of guys.. experience can be a very good thing! :-D

Then why do you ask? I'm not being rude, just wondering why this is a question guys ask...I've never lied, but then, I don't think I've been asked. I've worried over one guy, thought he might ask, but he never did. The only reason I worried, was, oddly enough, I thought he might think I was too inexperienced, not too experienced. lmao

But I can see being in a situation with a guy where he'd ask and I'd be weirded out by it. I mean, why ask? I don't want to know how many women or men a guy has been with, so why do men ask this?

 

[KTF40]

Wow, some of the responses in this thread are pretty eye opening. First off, if the guy asks, you should at least tell a guy how many partners you've had since you last got tested. I want to know full well what I'm getting into before it is too late. For example, have you been having sex with condoms? How many partners have you not used condoms with? etc. If you're just going to tell him to fuck off, that's pretty messed up I think.

Secondly, I've never come across a problem asking a girl how many guys she has slept with. Granted I've only asked 3 of them, but I think the info I get is pretty useful. I even ask them about past sexual experiences, figure out what guys did right and what they did wrong. Helps me know what I need to do to be better or how I can improve my own technique.

 

[dolfette]

Wow, some of the responses in this thread are pretty eye opening. First off, if the guy asks, you should at least tell a guy how many partners you've had since you last got tested. I want to know full well what I'm getting into before it is too late. For example, have you been having sex with condoms? How many partners have you not used condoms with? etc. If you're just going to tell him to fuck off, that's pretty messed up I think..

utter bollocks!
it only requires one partner since i last got tested for me to be infected. exact numbers are not the issue at all, and if you think they are then you're risking your life.

you can ask if i've been tested since my last partner and that's it!

 

[Serial Kisser]

I HATE when guys ask this. I don't ask them, don't ask me. It doesn't matter how many guys I've been with. I'm with you now so be quiet.

 

[KTF40]

utter bollocks!
it only requires one partner since i last got tested for me to be infected. exact numbers are not the issue at all, and if you think they are then you're risking your life.

you can ask if i've been tested since my last partner and that's it!

That still tells me very little. HIV doesn't even show up in the results for 6 months. And what if she says she hasn't been tested since her last partner? Still doesn't give me an idea of what kind of risk she is. No offense, but if a girl gave me your response, I wouldn't feel comfortable having sex with her because I have little idea what kind of risk I'm getting myself into and I'd probably think she is hiding something.

 

[Serial Kisser]

like, feeling ashamed that i've had sex before with other people

or like trying to fit in with a super religious guy that would judge me for having sex with other people outside of marriage

that sort of thing

Plus that nasty double standard that men who hook up a lot are studs, and women who do the same are sluts.

 

[dolfette]

That still tells me very little. HIV doesn't even show up in the results for 6 months. And what if she says she hasn't been tested since her last partner? Still doesn't give me an idea of what kind of risk she is. No offense, but if a girl gave me your response, I wouldn't feel comfortable having sex with her because I have little idea what kind of risk I'm getting myself into and I'd probably think she is hiding something.

the number of partners wouldn't tell you that either.

a follow on question of how long between sex & test is completely different. practical, not nosey.
i might only have had one partner and he might have had herpes, aids and syph.
relying on her saying, ''oh, only two!'' for your safety is nothing short of moronic.

your reaction to my response of getting up and leaving you would make you not want to have sex? well duh! :tongue:

 

[nicenycdick]

I've never asked. But...I've been asked by women. And for those of you who are about to pounce...it was before I slept with them! I don't know why they ask, but I think I come off in chat as a flirt or player (lol)...I laugh 'cause I am the most sexually shy guy I know!

I don't ask because it was never relevant to me...except maybe if the woman was new to sex and I had to be even extra gentle. But even then, I'd have to have some real information that would cause me to inquire whether she was experienced. I think that info is usually quite evident once you get...uh..engaged (and I don't mean in the marital sense.) I couldn't care if there were 100 men she slept with before me...I am the only one who's dick is actually in her at the moment (I would hope!). And the issue of a background check because of STD is absurd...you should use protection under all circumstances until a trusted monogamous relationship is formed.

 

[KTF40]

the number of partners wouldn't tell you that either.

a follow on question of how long between sex & test is completely different. practical, not nosey.
i might only have had one partner and he might have had herpes, aids and syph.
relying on her saying, ''oh, only two!'' for your safety is nothing short of moronic.

your reaction to my response of getting up and leaving you would make you not want to have sex? well duh! :tongue:

It's not moronic. You are a higher risk if you've had ten partners since you last got tested compared to just one (even more so depending on the kind of sex you've been having). Yeah, I realize it only takes one person, but there is a big difference between the two situations and I'd like to know because I think it is fair to me so I can decide whether or not I feel comfortable having sex with you.

What I find moronic is that you won't tell me what kind of sexual risk you are because you're too insecure about how many sexual partners you've had. I could be missing out on a great girl just because of something that stupid. But oh well, I guess this is just one of these agree to disagree things.

 

[KTF40]

And the issue of a background check because of STD is absurd...you should use protection under all circumstances until a trusted monogamous relationship is formed.

What's absurd is if you're implying condoms protect you from everything. And plus, what if my partner wants me to go down on her?

 

[Mule]

If he's braying like a donkey and calling for god while I'm either sucking his dick or fucking him, he's got to know that sort of ability comes with experience.

Oh hi.

 

[deleted395785]

as far as hetero dynamics, most men are going to ask @ some point. sorry ladies.

but my question now is do women ask women in lesbian relationships? do women lie to women about sex partners? do tell lol

 

[dolfette]

It's not moronic. You are a higher risk if you've had ten partners since you last got tested compared to just one (even more so depending on the kind of sex you've been having). Yeah, I realize it only takes one person, but there is a big difference between the two situations and I'd like to know because I think it is fair to me so I can decide whether or not I feel comfortable having sex with you.

What I find moronic is that you won't tell me what kind of sexual risk you are because you're too insecure about how many sexual partners you've had. I could be missing out on a great girl just because of something that stupid. But oh well, I guess this is just one of these agree to disagree things.

there's no issue with the number of partners i have.
being frigid as i am it's rather low.
it's moronic to assume that would be the only reason to object to such an intrusive question.
are we having fun yet? lol

well if you're going to take silly risks like that...sleeping with twenty virgins is safer than sleeping with one junkie, so better get her to fill out a questionnaire of the lifestyle and promiscuity of those partners she's had. give her a day or two to maybe start a chain email, to get the partners of partners of partners too.

 

[dolfette]

as far as hetero dynamics, most men are going to ask @ some point. sorry ladies.

not in my experience.

 

[deleted395785]

funny how soooo many women get uptight about that question. its like asking someone on the job how much is their salary.

 

[KTF40]

there's no issue with the number of partners i have.
being frigid as i am it's rather low.
it's moronic to assume that would be the only reason to object to such an intrusive question.
are we having fun yet? lol

well if you're going to take silly risks like that...sleeping with twenty virgins is safer than sleeping with one junkie, so better get her to fill out a questionnaire of the lifestyle and promiscuity of those partners she's had. give her a day or two to maybe start a chain email, to get the partners of partners of partners too.

Wait, I'm taking a "silly risk" by not having sex with someone who would not give me a straight answer? Fucking lol. Make more sense plz

 

[eyescream]

I don't disclose my number to anyone. I don't feel it's anyone's business even a BF.

 

[iluv2xlr8]

Thanks for the insight. I just wanted to know because, ironically, i've been asked about my number by my gf as well as my exes. But the thought never occurred to me to ask them. Interesting answers guys.

 

[bibblemoo]

Then why do you ask? I'm not being rude, just wondering why this is a question guys ask...I've never lied, but then, I don't think I've been asked. I've worried over one guy, thought he might ask, but he never did. The only reason I worried, was, oddly enough, I thought he might think I was too inexperienced, not too experienced. lmao

But I can see being in a situation with a guy where he'd ask and I'd be weirded out by it. I mean, why ask? I don't want to know how many women or men a guy has been with, so why do men ask this?

Hmm... thinking back, the two times I've asked it was part of a whole string of questions about sex.. kind of a "what do you like" sort of thing.. and unless I'm terribly mistaken, in 1 if not both instances, she asked me first.;-)

I guess I've just never thought it was a question to get worked up about. In the end, the answer really doesn't matter.. it's just a curiosity thing.

 

[dolfette]

Wait, I'm taking a "silly risk" by not having sex with someone who would not give me a straight answer? Fucking lol. Make more sense plz

no, silly, you're taking a really dumb risk by sleeping with a girl unprotected, just because she's had only a few partners.

it only takes one.