lying about sexual partners

laxplayer

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^this.^

and part two if it went further and he got all pissy about it being more than he wanted to know...the truth brings out the truth. tell him how many, then you get a true reflection of the man asking. if he asked in the first place, he must be insecure, worried and jealous. now would be a good time to find out.

really? do most people think this?

i've always thought that i don't need to know the number of a girl because she's with me now, not with other dudes. likewise, i don't feel a need to tell her my number because its in the past.
 

helgaleena

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really? do most people think this?

i've always thought that i don't need to know the number of a girl because she's with me now, not with other dudes. likewise, i don't feel a need to tell her my number because its in the past.

"Shove me in the shallow water before I get too deep" --- you want to keep it light. You don't want to know because you don't want it to be for keeps.
 

Pitbull

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And if a man does not want to hear what I have lived through, it's a warning to me that he's just playing.

You don't want to know because you don't want it to be for keeps.

Maybe.

But every coin has 2 sides.

Divulging the past is often opening the door to conflict.
If someone is serious they might be avoiding conflict.
The focus is on the here and now and the future.
Who you are is most important.
What you did - only as to how it relates to necessary understanding for the relationship.

Maybe you don't want to know because you want it to be for keeps and you are afraid the past can damage the present and the future.
 

helgaleena

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Maybe you don't want to know because you want it to be for keeps and you are afraid the past can damage the present and the future.

Pitbull, in my ex's case, his past was what bit our marriage to pieces. Pretending there was no past doomed us before we got started. I could not fight for what I could not know.
 
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AlteredEgo

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"Shove me in the shallow water before I get too deep" --- you want to keep it light. You don't want to know because you don't want it to be for keeps.

That's certainly not true of me, and I agree with him! If my man wants to talk about his sexual past, I'm happy to listen. On the other hand, I don't have any driving need to know, and am extremely unlikely to ask.
 

Pitbull

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Maybe you don't want to know because you want it to be for keeps and you are afraid the past can damage the present and the future.

Pitbull, in my ex's case, his past was what bit our marriage to pieces. Pretending there was no past doomed us before we got started. I could not fight for what I could not know.

Without wishing for details, I might guess that is was more than merely you ex's sexual past (or lack thereof) which spelled doom. And what kind of person he was and how he reacted to the sexual past - both his and yours.

Sorry to hear.
 

badgirl22

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I've played it both ways. I find people tend to ask questions they don't really want to know the answer to. Sometimes, an honest answer can cause an unexpected reaction and then it's just all downhill. I typically just refuse to answer the question - to me it's irrelevent -

I don't have a need to know of their past either unless we're having a casual conversation about it. I'll listen if they want to discuss it but rarely would I ask unless they'd made some comment regarding it that piqued my interest in some way. I have no judgements regardless if there have been many or few - it just is what it is.
 

Ramsey

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Sometimes we ask when we shouldn't and we don't want to know, but lying about the answer is not acceptable, cuz if you are going to lie about something as intimate as sex, what else are you going to lie about? I've been with a habitual liar and her exes were on her laundry list of things she lied about.
My ex-fiance was honest about the fact that she'd been around, but because she was honest, I had no problems with it, because she was honest. If you start lying, it will catch up and cause problems somewhere down the road. Just don't lie. Some people need to know, others don't. If you don't like that he/she needs to know, then like Dolfette does, move them on their way. Others don't mind telling, so just look for someone suited to what you need in this area. Or, just don't be a slut of a human being if people will have issues with your honest answers.
 

squall

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I personally dont think women should lie about it unless they're scared that this guy might be the one and worried that he might be turned off by the fact he doesnt want a girl who's been around the block.

I personally ask but its more out of curiosity not whether or not I'll stay with her or not. I mean I hope the girls I was with didnt lie to me but it never stopped the relationship. I mean why should it bother you so much that they ask? If your in a relationship with the guy which means you obviously like him to some extent, and he asks you that question, you would still just drop him and walk away? That would suck wouldnt you think? I mean why throw away something just over a simple question?

I think the only guys it really bothers are guys who either never had it, or guys who have had very little of it. I say just answer the stupid question and if he gets turned off by it then it wasnt meant to be anyways. He either has to put up with the answer or get to walking. Thats just my thoughts on the matter though lol
 

BS76

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A very simple trick is to not bring the topic up until after you've already had sex. She'll be less likely to fear scaring you off after you've already done the deed.
 

eyescream

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I don't think numbers count, it's WHO they did it with that counts. Like, if a guy I like have slept with a thousand women and he's clean then so be it. But if he's only slept with 2 women and both of them were friends of mine or family even, now THAT would be a big deal.