M vs. F Approach To

[goodwood]

OK - i believe it is a widely held belief that when a guy has sex with a woman he has known for an hour that he is a stud to be able to bed her, while the perception of the woman is that she is a 'slut' or 'too easy'.
Agreed?
So why is the woman not given the same amount of congratulations for bedding a stud?
After spending all day on Saturday boat hopping, party hopping and bar hopping, this attractive blonde woman told a friend (an ex in fact) I was with that she thought I was hot. The ex gave a very good report of me and told this chick I was available and to have at me. So we made out after she bought me a couple of drinks, we chatted and got along very well. I drove us back to the marina parking lot where a kiss good bye ended up being amazing sex - in the car. THe damned console was in the way so with one fell swoop I reached over, reclined her seat and away we went.
The connection was very personal and very good and she performed with perfect candor. It was awesome to see the look of pleasure in her eyes and to see her encourage me for more. It was the kind of sex that left us both utterly speechless and barely able to move.
After collecting ourselves I walked her back to the slip where her friends were waiting for her, wondering where she had gotten to. They were concerned about her absence at such at late hour and were happy to see her safely returned and questioned us as to our whereabouts. We non chlantly said that we had taken the long way back. Her friends looked at her, then me and blurted out "You had sex!" We were like, 'no, we were just talking...' routine. Then one of her friends pointed out how it is that the body glitter from her decolletage ended up all over my face....lol. I hadn't thought of one.
Anyway - point being, it was a great thing. She was beautiful and clearly very adept at sex and was very open about wanting it. I admire that in a woman, especially one I find attractive. So I have wondered and asked friends "Where are more women like her? Why don't more women approach sex with a man they are attracted to like this? Instead of playing this whole passive/aggressive routine to death of 'i want you'. ok. So i want them then they are like 'how DARE you? You think I am EASY?'
I don't care! If you want us to be together then knock off the ridiculous come hither and then push away.
Guys - you know what I am talking about? Ladies - what do you think? Why don't more women say 'Hey - that's what I like, what I want and let's go' when there is mutual attraction?

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

Well, they are afraid to be called slut ... I think.
But what you had sounds so cool! Lucky bastard!

 

[goodwood]

This is what I don't understand - men are not afraid to be called slutty. Why are women?

 

[got_lost]

I thought the point you made at the start was correct though... that men aren't called slutty... they're just studs! It's easy not to be afraid of something there is little risk of.

I do know women who are as you described. But there are people (those who don't like them or are just jealous) who still call them sluts!

But heck... you lost me round about the console getting in the way! Not lost exactly... but left me behind... :biggrin1:
*sigh*

 

[_avg_]

Because sex is about the only power our society let's women have over us men.


Maybe?

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

This is what I don't understand - men are not afraid to be called slutty. Why are women?

It depends, some guys oever here are sluts too :smile:. It is probably easyer to say that a woman is a slut.

 

[Jovial]

OK - i believe it is a widely held belief that when a guy has sex with a woman he has known for an hour that he is a stud to be able to bed her, while the perception of the woman is that she is a 'slut' or 'too easy'.
Agreed?

Well, I'm still not sure who believes the guy is a stud. I rarely hear women say that about men. It's usually the men that think that, and usually only the other men that are looking for just sex.

Guys - you know what I am talking about? Ladies - what do you think? Why don't more women say 'Hey - that's what I like, what I want and let's go' when there is mutual attraction?

I think it's because if it's just quick sex then it usually won't be very good for the woman. In your case, this women was told you were good (or nice or had a big one, etc.) beforehand. If she had just met a random guy that she was physically attracted to, then there is no guarantee that the sex would be good for her. But the man will almost always have an orgasm.

I started a thread asking a similar question last year:
http://www.lpsg.org/71314-why-women-dont-hook-up.html

 

[Viking_UK]

I know it's not directly relevant, but the only guys I've ever heard called sluts are bottoms, so I assume it's the old, "You're a stud if you're penetrating and a slut if you're being penetrated."

My attitude is that if two people want to have sex, let them get on with it. It's nobody else's business.

 

[WellHung83]

its a classic double standard of one thing for the dudes is not the same for the girls. Like those girls you see in the rap music videos - its okay for the guys to view these girls as easy pieces of mean aka sluts, yet if a woman would objectify men in the same way in her music videos she would be called upon as being objectifying men.

 

[maestro071]

Lol, I got yr point and I fully agree with you.
I (and many other guys) wish if there were more women as the one you met!

 

[Principessa]

This is what I don't understand - men are not afraid to be called slutty. Why are women?

Because a mans virtue has no value in society it never did.

Whereas a womans virtue is still highly regarded in many cultures and countries. In some circles a woman who has sex before marriage can expect to be the victim of an "honor killing" or expect to be a social pariah who never marrys because no decent man wants a slut or a woman who is seen as damaged goods for a wife.

Come on Goodwood, You're a smart guy you should know this already.

 

[MrsSmallLovesBig]

I think things are starting to change a little. I know several women who view casual sexual encounters as just that, casual with no emotional attachments involved. As society evolves and centuries of ingrained views on "female virtue" change or are rendered obsolete, things will change. Personally I see nothing wrong with a woman enjoying casual sexual encounters.

 

[D_Merringtonne Meathead]

I've had a few women take the lead in casual sex over the last few years - in each case with excellent results - and definitely things have changed since my youth when men were expected to try and women were half-expected to resist. I see no reason at all why women should not behave exactly as men do and there is no point in classifying people as 'sluts' or 'studs' or anything else.

 

[Pendlum]

What if there are just more women who just don't like casual sex and would rather have a relationship? It may be even more common in middle aged women trying to settle down and all that noise (Speculating.) Maybe, just maybe, they think some things are more important than sex.

Also, a woman can't be a stud. :tongue: Since studs are male animals put out for breeding. That doesn't mean you can't figure out new term for women.

 

[Viking_UK]

Sounds like a good idea, Pendlum. What would you call a confident woman who enjoys sex and isn't afraid or ashamed to go out and get it?

 

[marriedasian]

When i was dating, these were the only women i was looking for and for the longest time wondered this same phenomenon.

I think women should embrace sex and enjoy sex for all that they can. There's nothing more sexy than a "sexual" women. If a women wasn't sexual about herself then it would never work for me.

Luckily I did find one and she's wearing my ring.

I'll reserve one point though. Despite the sexual freedom that these women exhibit, i am a bit cautious because STDs creep the sh*t outta me. More partners = more chances to catch something, but it's the same road for men too, can't hate women any more than men when it comes to this.

 

[D_Coyne Toss]

Latins used to say: Mater semer certa est, Pater nunquam.

Men in the popular culture are allowed to fuck around, beuase they have to spread their genes.

Women aren't because men want to be sure they are really breeding their own kids.

Sexist double standard, but these are the roots.

 

[goodwood]

I think it's because if it's just quick sex then it usually won't be very good for the woman. In your case, this women was told you were good (or nice or had a big one, etc.) beforehand. (post #7 from Jovial)

...Ever astute you are Jovial. Quite correct. The mystery woman was in fact fully informed ahead of time, so that did help. I should drag along friendly exes. every time I go out. lol.

I think it's because if it's just quick sex then it usually won't be very good for the woman. In your case, this women was told you were good (or nice or had a big one, etc.) beforehand. (WellHung83, post 39)

...For the record, I have no problem with women objectifying me. lol!

Lol, I got yr point and I fully agree with you.
I (and many other guys) wish if there were more women as the one you met! (Maestro, post #10)

...THANK YOU Maestro! lol. ME TOO.

In some circles a woman who has sex before marriage can expect to be the victim of an "honor killing" or expect to be a social pariah who never marrys because no decent man wants a slut or a woman who is seen as damaged goods for a wife. (njqt466)

...Thank you for that insight njqt, but I can't fathom a circumstance in which I would marry a woman who has NOT had sex. And I am a decent man.

Personally I see nothing wrong with a woman enjoying casual sexual encounters. (MrsSmallLovesBig, post #12)

....please have your friends get in touch with me. lol

What if there are just more women who just don't like casual sex and would rather have a relationship? It may be even more common in middle aged women trying to settle down and all that noise (Speculating.) Maybe, just maybe, they think some things are more important than sex.
(Pendlum, post #14)

....Yes. This could be the case and I am fully amenable to the prospect of an excellent relationship.

I'll reserve one point though. Despite the sexual freedom that these women exhibit, i am a bit cautious because STDs creep the sh*t outta me. More partners = more chances to catch something, but it's the same road for men too, can't hate women any more than men when it comes to this. (marriedasian, post #16)

....Excellent point. STDS creep me out as well. I have always been very careful and have never had one.

SO, very good points all and thanks for sharing your thoughts.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

I don't think it is always about women afraid of being called sluts but because women tend to be more emotionally connected to sex then men. Most of us doing want to be just another conquest to brag about.

However i do get your point. Women do play to many games when it comes to sex and getting what they want. But _avg_ was right, we play them games to try and retain the little amount of power we still have.

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

Plenty of women engage in sex based on a moment's desire--you just may not hear about it, though.

I know many women, including myself, who have gone with the moment or were into sport fucking. If anything, age group or generation, mindset, along with location, major metropolitan areas versus small towns, seem to play more into receptiveness for casual sex beyond a general trait of womanhood. I think you just have to find the person, woman or man, at a point where simply fucking someone is attractive... for me that's during ovulation or after a relationship ends. :shrug: