Macho Gay Men???

[silvertriumph2]

You might not look gay GQjock, but you sure look hot to me :awink:.

Man, you can say that again!

 

[D_Adoniah Sheervolume]

don't have much time, but want to contribute this thought:

i find that most gay guys don't really know what to do with me when they find out i'm not especially interested in most "typical" gay things, certainly not as a lifestyle. live near NYC, where the urban fag can be pretty superficial. when they learn i race sailboats (a tough, uncomfortable, and completely engrossing sport), can't arrange flowers to save my life, obviously am not a fashionista, and don't drink or do drugs, it seems many just smile, with an "oh really?" and move on. perhaps it's just my advancing age. or maybe i'm an asshole with bad breath or something...? <grin>

 

[dude4507]

I'm a powerlifter, listen to heavy metal, love football and bounce at a straight bar on the weekends. I told one of my friends once that I like guys and he was stunned.

 

[D_Iskepee_Longwoodee]

I played lacrosse in college, played soccer, wrestled and ran track in M.S. and H.S, and I enjoy many other sports with a "rush"! Most people would absolutely never assume I am into men. I also love cars, and have tend to lack the mannerisms unless I'm out with my gay friends...where I'm comfortable... People are like chameleons; they adapt to their envirnment around them. When at work, most gay men are straight acting and after leaving the office and heading to the clubs, they can take on a whole other personality!

 

[EagleCowboy]

WOWNICEONE: i find that most gay guys don't really know what to do with me when they find out i'm not especially interested in most "typical" gay things, certainly not as a lifestyle. live near NYC, where the urban fag can be pretty superficial. when they learn i race sailboats (a tough, uncomfortable, and completely engrossing sport), can't arrange flowers to save my life, obviously am not a fashionista, and don't drink or do drugs, it seems many just smile, with an "oh really?" and move on. perhaps it's just my advancing age. or maybe i'm an asshole with bad breath or something...?



Ditto that here. I have the same problem. My gay friends have told me that I'm too straight to be gay. Ooooooooook.

Back in grade school, middle school, and part of high school, I got stuck with the fag label. It didn't help that the school I went to didn't have any sport that I was interested in. (they only had baseball and basketball) It was a small country school and my playing music most likely didn't help the situation. Wish I could have gotten it to work for me the way Sam Harris got it to work for him.

I switched schools in the 10th grade and everything changed. The fag label was gone, I was on the wrestling team, and despite my little brother's attempts, no one would buy the fact that I just might like guys. Was a police officer at one time, an ASE certified mechanic, race cars and bikes, restore rare cars, raise horses and sponsor competition trail rides, love to go kayaking, the usual guy stuff. I come across to others as completely straight with no question. One of my friends had actually caught me with a guy and said; "YOU'RE GAY?!?" I just replied: "Sometimes" with a big grin on my face.

Wowniceone: I find that those gays that you described in your post tend to treat me almost like I'm a traitor or something close. Does that happen to you?

 

[SirNeal8]

EagleCowboy, loved your post. I'm not a stereotypical gay man either and it throws people sometimes. I've never been to a gay bar and don't actually intend to go to one anytime soon. I've never done drugs and don't care about fashion as much as how much a decent pair of jeans costs. I don't do flower arrangements either, though I appreciate a good arrangement when I see one!

I was a musician in school -- in fact still am, though now I'm singing in a local jazz bar. Filling the house! I had mostly girl friends and the guy friends I did have weren't uber-jocks. So, it was relatively easy to peg me as less masculine, but people still do seem surprised when I tell them that I prefer men over women. Hmph.

Anyway, thanks for sharing a bit about yourself.

 

[gjorg]

Someone could walk in on me while I'm fucking a guy and say, "He didn't look that gay." :tongue:

Execept for that shit on his cock!:smile:

 

[D_Adoniah Sheervolume]

Wowniceone: I find that those gays that you described in your post tend to treat me almost like I'm a traitor or something close. Does that happen to you?

sorry for the delayed response.

yeah, sometimes it feels like that. others, it just seems they don't quite know what to do with me. maybe it's that they think i'm stupid because i don't know about the latest trends, or perhaps it just makes them uncomfortable, thinking we won't have anything to talk about.

*my* insecurities are no-doubt playing a role too...

 

[Manbap]

I am a man, and I cat like a man regardless of my sexual orientation. Anyone who tells me that I don't look like a gay, I will think of him/her as a very old fashion person coming from the old ages, who thinks a gay must act like what is preceived and steryotyped by many as a gay

 

[D_Tintagel_Demondong]

The most macho guys I know are just guys. They don't try to be anything but who they are. They are confident with themselves, even if they have an effeminate mannerism or appearance.

I've been to the Castro. I've seen the handlebar-mustachioed, overly tanned, leather-skinned bikers. I think that these guys look ridiculous and anything but macho. I wonder why they need leather chaps to prove that they are men.

 

[invisibleman]

How many gay guys here can be easilly mistaken with straight guys in their daily activities? Are you a macho gay man that acts like a hetero, but just likes sex with other men? (example, you would have to tell people you are gay because it is not easy to notice)

Yeah. That is me. I am hetero looking (but not acting) gay man. I am not into drag...or Madonna...or doing street chems and poppers kind of gay man.

 

[earllogjam]

I don't really relate to much of gay culture and identify more with straight guys so I understand a lot of the comments on this thread. A lot of stuff in gay "culture" does not interest me and so I have chosen to avoid most of it, especially the whole cult of beauty, fashion victim thing. But I have met a good number of gay guys like me who share my "straight" interests. So macho gay men, we are not alone.

I hate digging up there old threads but this one seems appropriate to the discussion here.

http://www.lpsg.org/51264-gays-who-hate-gay-culture.html

 

[eddie80]

The most macho guys I know are just guys. They don't try to be anything but who they are. They are confident with themselves, even if they have an effeminate mannerism or appearance.

I've been to the Castro. I've seen the handlebar-mustachioed, overly tanned, leather-skinned bikers. I think that these guys look ridiculous and anything but macho. I wonder why they need leather chaps to prove that they are men.

My two cents: any guy that comes off as confident in himself and who he is, ultimately comes off as masculine and, if you like, "macho". Any guy who tries too damned hard to be anything, comes off as less so. I think a lot of us feel this way, and we say it in different ways.

Ask a woman - what makes a sexy guy? Confidence. They know.

 

[alex8.5]

All people I meet think I am straight, this I know when they ask how the wife and kids are. Interesting the way they assume that every man is married with children. I am not feminine in any way, I like some sports, I am a handyman, I don't know much about decorations, or really want to, even though I know I have good tastes. When I tell folks I am gay, they are actually surprised, and some really don't believe me. "Why would one lie about being gay?. I don't act "not gay" on purpose I am just me. I never put much thought into it, I just act like the man I have always been since my teenage years...

 

[dwtrlp]

I just act like me and don't try to be anything else. What you see is what you get!

I have my masculine and feminine sides like everyone has, even though some may not think they do or admit it. I have always been taken for straight, however, those with Gaydar ability, would probably unmask me. :biggrin:

I'm afraid that I have outwardly not lived an honest life since my true self is still undisclosed to the world. Ive lived my entire life as a heterosexual, with marriage, family, and all that goes with it. And, although I've always
been attracted to women and extremely enjoyed that side of my nature, I have also always known that I was extremely attracted to men, especially those with very masculine features and persona. This "gay" side of me is only known to a very select few. Actually, as a very young child, my attraction to males preceded the attraction to females, by many years.

Someday I may come out, but even if I do, I will not act any differently than I do now. No matter what, I will always consider myself a true "Multi-Sexual" , enjoying all sides of my nature. I hate the terms, Straight, Gay, and Bi.

I remember when I was where you are in your head! It was that time after my divorce (after a 24 year marriage with one child), when I was not yet comfortable with the words gay or homosexual. I even went out of my way to have sex with women and men so "bi" made sense to me and to them. Eventually, I realized that I was kidding myself. What I really wanted was DICK! When I was finally ready to test the waters, I referred to myself as gay with my inner circle of friends that I knew wouldn't reject me. As that became more comfortable, I expanded the people that I told to include those who might never speak to me again. I don't really think I lost a single person in my life because of the information. Life is GOOD!

But back to the topic at hand.........I am NOT macho, don't like sports in general and can be too "girly" if not careful. But, I work in healthcare and dress conservatively (with a little flare!) and I have had a lot of people tell me they would have never known that I perfer men. I also find that my gaydar is not as good as it once was, for the same reason. You cannot always tell by the way someone looks or acts what their true orientation is.

 

[B_Monster]

I act like a tri-sexual, i'll tri anything once!!!

 

[invisibleman]

A lot of stuff in gay "culture" does not interest me and so I have chosen to avoid most of it, especially the whole cult of beauty, fashion victim thing. But I have met a good number of gay guys like me who share my "straight" interests. So macho gay men, we are not alone.

I hate digging up there old threads but this one seems appropriate to the discussion here.

http://www.lpsg.org/51264-gays-who-hate-gay-culture.html

I don't hate gay culture. I am not interested in some parts of it. I am black but I am not interested in some parts of urban culture that some Black men and women are interested in.

I do find that homophobia does cause for rigidity of gender role definitions. Homophobia doesn't really help men in general.

I am not afraid of my femme side though. I am just an ordinary looking guy with creative insights.

 

[rocck333]

Here is my Profile:
Shotguns and hunting
Cooking
Movie Fan
Riding horses
Wearing my western wear clothes
SPORTS especially football
Fishing
Reading Books
Playing poker
Sucking cock
Good at making Love
I have two kids

 

[invisibleman]

I also find that my gaydar is not as good as it once was, for the same reason. You cannot always tell by the way someone looks or acts what their true orientation is.

Amen to that.

 

[basque9]

All people I meet think I am straight, this I know when they ask how the wife and kids are. Interesting the way they assume that every man is married with children. I am not feminine in any way, I like some sports, I am a handyman, I don't know much about decorations, or really want to, even though I know I have good tastes. When I tell folks I am gay, they are actually surprised, and some really don't believe me. "Why would one lie about being gay?. I don't act "not gay" on purpose I am just me. I never put much thought into it, I just act like the man I have always been since my teenage years...

I can so relate with all of your comments Alex8.5! Perhaps it is something in the water we both love to swim in! Never change guy....you are the way nature intended you to be. I strongly believe that the coefficient of correlation between the two variables: macho/masculinity on the one hand and a scaled degree of heterosexuality on the other,if tested, would be statistically insignificant at any normal level of confidence which might be used!DB