Macho Gay Men???

D_Adoniah Sheervolume

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i just hope people realize that the most important part of coming out is being YOU, whatever that is. you have the right to be nelly or butch or athletic or a nerd or purple or orange or WHATEVER. and turned on by what thrills you too. HOWEVER...

methinks anyone who recoils too strongly from any particular behavior or stereotype needs to really think about WHY that is and come to grips. because, on some level, there's an element of looking down on others in it.

when i was younger and on a better course of life, anything that scared me was something that HAD to be investigated. one thing that freaked my shit was trannies (known as mahus in hawaii), especially the one who paraded on the corner between the two gay bars every saturday night: big tall non-passable thing with long black hair, in a one-piece bathing suit, fishnets and high heels, waving and hooting at the cars as they drove by (think early 80s ru paul with bad skin & less fortunate bone structure). every weekend while walking between the bars i'd scurry past, terrified of even eye contact with this towering dark vision.

one night i'd had enough foolishness and struck up a conversation. she turned out to be surprisingly nice and we, the trans and the preppy, sat on that busy corner for a good portion of the night, with her plainly telling me some tales of her life. she'd had some hot times, but had also been taken out to remote areas and ditched, gotten in fights, received death threats, been ostracized by family and yet always returned to the corner to be the fabulous creature she felt she was.

as i listened i realized how brave she was, clearly putting it out there for all to see, while i wasn't out to most of people at school, much less the yacht club. that mahu was displaying more guts in every cycle of the traffic lights than little "straight-acting" me had over the previous five years of closeted life.

one of the great joys i take from being gay is that current greater society has so few meaningful roles or expectations of me, allowing me to choose my OWN path in this life. at many times i'm one manly li'l fucker, but i've decided if a nelly mood hits, i'll be damned i'm gonna let some external definition of male-appropriate behavior get in the way of a good time.

i hope all of you, straight, gay, whatever, will allow yourself to let go and know the joy of those moments too. because integrity, confidence and strength are not the sole realm of the macho man. indeed, many use the trappings of "masculinity" to hide their very real deficiencies of character...
 

invisibleman

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i just hope people realize that the most important part of coming out is being YOU, whatever that is. you have the right to be nelly or butch or athletic or a nerd or purple or orange or WHATEVER. and turned on by what thrills you too. HOWEVER...

methinks anyone who recoils too strongly from any particular behavior or stereotype needs to really think about WHY that is and come to grips. because, on some level, there's an element of looking down on others in it.

i hope all of you, straight, gay, whatever, will allow yourself to let go and know the joy of those moments too. because integrity, confidence and strength are not the sole realm of the macho man. indeed, many use the trappings of "masculinity" to hide their very real deficiencies of character...

You are right, though. I never considered that viewpoint before. I don't hate gay culture though. I just don't do everything gay culture does.
 

sinfulta

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I am really glad this thread has came up.

I guess you can call me one of those Macho Gay Men, I think it's mostly due to the fact that most gay guys I do know do not share interests in what I like at all. I'm always hanging around all straight people all the time.

People are always surprised when I have to tell them, cause it's getting to the point where they want me to date a woman or something.

In most recent years as I am getting older I notice this is getting really irritating because I never get any offers or people approach me for dating purposes from males because I they think I'm straight.

I went to a gay bar with one of my straight female friends, and I had at least 6-7 guys that night ask me if I was straight or gay. I mean I can see why they asked, because I was with her... but still.

It's getting really depressing to say the least. Too make matters worse, I only end up liking guys who are in my terms are masculine enough. I like guys more because I like a guy, when guys do act feminine.... I'd rather take my pick at a hot female if that's the case. But in NO way does a feminine guy bother me as a friend. But then this goes back to interests... when they are feminine, they are probably(or have been) a lot less likely to want to go to the race track, and help me install headers on a buddy's car. I dunno... it's confusing. Females were so much easier to understand. But I understand now that I could never spend the rest of my life with one sooo..... well.... I don't know...
I don't type much on here and i'm not sure if i'm making sense....but I feel messed up. Just my .02
 

T-Lex

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I detest when a gay guy calls himself "straight acting." To me that sounds as if he's trying to be something he's not. Overall, I consider myself to be a masculine man, but when I'm out with the fellas, it's sometimes fun to be foolish and let your little feminine streak come out. But let me reiterate, I don't act like anything, except myself -- which most people perceive to be masculine.

Typically, when I tell someone new that I'm gay, I get looks of disbelief, which kind of makes me a bit happy because I think maybe I've changed their perception of a stereotypical gay man.
 

Allanon585

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I dont see why everyone thinks that gay men need to be feminin. It's just a dumb steriotype. I mean im gay and my hobbie is swordfighting.