D_Adoniah Sheervolume
Account Disabled
i just hope people realize that the most important part of coming out is being YOU, whatever that is. you have the right to be nelly or butch or athletic or a nerd or purple or orange or WHATEVER. and turned on by what thrills you too. HOWEVER...
methinks anyone who recoils too strongly from any particular behavior or stereotype needs to really think about WHY that is and come to grips. because, on some level, there's an element of looking down on others in it.
when i was younger and on a better course of life, anything that scared me was something that HAD to be investigated. one thing that freaked my shit was trannies (known as mahus in hawaii), especially the one who paraded on the corner between the two gay bars every saturday night: big tall non-passable thing with long black hair, in a one-piece bathing suit, fishnets and high heels, waving and hooting at the cars as they drove by (think early 80s ru paul with bad skin & less fortunate bone structure). every weekend while walking between the bars i'd scurry past, terrified of even eye contact with this towering dark vision.
one night i'd had enough foolishness and struck up a conversation. she turned out to be surprisingly nice and we, the trans and the preppy, sat on that busy corner for a good portion of the night, with her plainly telling me some tales of her life. she'd had some hot times, but had also been taken out to remote areas and ditched, gotten in fights, received death threats, been ostracized by family and yet always returned to the corner to be the fabulous creature she felt she was.
as i listened i realized how brave she was, clearly putting it out there for all to see, while i wasn't out to most of people at school, much less the yacht club. that mahu was displaying more guts in every cycle of the traffic lights than little "straight-acting" me had over the previous five years of closeted life.
one of the great joys i take from being gay is that current greater society has so few meaningful roles or expectations of me, allowing me to choose my OWN path in this life. at many times i'm one manly li'l fucker, but i've decided if a nelly mood hits, i'll be damned i'm gonna let some external definition of male-appropriate behavior get in the way of a good time.
i hope all of you, straight, gay, whatever, will allow yourself to let go and know the joy of those moments too. because integrity, confidence and strength are not the sole realm of the macho man. indeed, many use the trappings of "masculinity" to hide their very real deficiencies of character...
methinks anyone who recoils too strongly from any particular behavior or stereotype needs to really think about WHY that is and come to grips. because, on some level, there's an element of looking down on others in it.
when i was younger and on a better course of life, anything that scared me was something that HAD to be investigated. one thing that freaked my shit was trannies (known as mahus in hawaii), especially the one who paraded on the corner between the two gay bars every saturday night: big tall non-passable thing with long black hair, in a one-piece bathing suit, fishnets and high heels, waving and hooting at the cars as they drove by (think early 80s ru paul with bad skin & less fortunate bone structure). every weekend while walking between the bars i'd scurry past, terrified of even eye contact with this towering dark vision.
one night i'd had enough foolishness and struck up a conversation. she turned out to be surprisingly nice and we, the trans and the preppy, sat on that busy corner for a good portion of the night, with her plainly telling me some tales of her life. she'd had some hot times, but had also been taken out to remote areas and ditched, gotten in fights, received death threats, been ostracized by family and yet always returned to the corner to be the fabulous creature she felt she was.
as i listened i realized how brave she was, clearly putting it out there for all to see, while i wasn't out to most of people at school, much less the yacht club. that mahu was displaying more guts in every cycle of the traffic lights than little "straight-acting" me had over the previous five years of closeted life.
one of the great joys i take from being gay is that current greater society has so few meaningful roles or expectations of me, allowing me to choose my OWN path in this life. at many times i'm one manly li'l fucker, but i've decided if a nelly mood hits, i'll be damned i'm gonna let some external definition of male-appropriate behavior get in the way of a good time.
i hope all of you, straight, gay, whatever, will allow yourself to let go and know the joy of those moments too. because integrity, confidence and strength are not the sole realm of the macho man. indeed, many use the trappings of "masculinity" to hide their very real deficiencies of character...