LOL! Amidst groaning, I am opening this thread . I was inspired by the witty paraphrasing of "I will survive" by one of our members. Ok, all of you wordsmiths and musicians, have at it. Let the games begin....
Okay remember you started this thread. (however DO NOT tell my boss you can see me):smile: and yes I am using my OWN laptop!:tongue: My Maimed Tune Can you hear me calling out his name? you know I'm stalling cos I dont know your name I'll yell out louder maybe shout you know I was drunk cant get your name out Oh, I I wanna find my underwear oh I I wanna find my underwear Come on baby better raise alarm better do it soon before I break your arm took so long my break's over !
I love this game, using as few changes as possible: There's a saying old says that love is blind Still were often told, seek and ye shall find So I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had in mind. Looking everywhere, haven't found him yet He's the big affair I cannot forget Only man I ever think of with regret. I'd like to add his initial to my monogram Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb? There's a somebody I'm longing to see I hope that he turns out to be Someone who'll squat over me I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood I know I could always be good Someone who'll squat over me Although he may not be the man some Girls think of as handsome To my heart he carries the key Won't you tell him please to put on some speed Follow my lead, oh, how I need Someone to squat over me
Here is a little something I whipped up for MAtthew and Lex's wedding. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did . I think I enjoyed it a bit too much. I ended up enjoying to the tune of twins But that is another story for another time....:biggrin1: Naughty kicks off her Jimmy Choos and climbs atop the baby grand and grabs the microphone to serenade the happy couple.... "Makin' Whoopee" Its a matched set, A groom and groom, kid's that's a condom, not a balloon And dont forget that or youll regret that when makin whoopee You know I almost threw grits not rice On your black leather to add some spice But that I don't need,for it might impede You makin whoopee Refrain Baby, you better listen to the sad tale I tell Dont put a tent on that tree You'll have your own Quantrell! ( pointing to the piano player) This guy right here, he thinks he's slick giving me champagne's his favorite trick Though its illicit, I'm still complicit LETS GO MAKE WHOOPEE Naughty grabs Prepstud's collar and drags him out of the room... Fade to black....:wink:
in memory of a cat I used to have, who left pawprints halfway up the walls (& profuse apologies to Talking Heads) Psycho Kitty I can't seem to face up to the facts I'm tense and nervous and I can't relax I can't sleep cause my bed's on fire Don't touch me I'm a real live wire Psycho kitty, qu'est que c'est Fur fur fur fur fur fur fur fur fur better Run run run run run run away Psycho kitty, que'st que c'est Fur fur fur fur fur fur fur fur fur better Run run run run run run away Oh yeah
I heard this the other day while watching "Showboat" again. Watching Ava Gardners catlike eyes glaze over while she sang this song made me think. Obviously there was more to Bill than even the censors picked up... "Bill" I used to dream that I would discover The perfect lover some day. I knew I'd recognize him If ever he came ‘round my way. I always used to fancy then He'd be one of the godlike kind of men With a giant .... with a great big head Like the nasty plain wrapper books I read But along came Bill, who's not the type at all You'd meet him on the street and never notice him; His form and face, his manly grace Are not the kind that you would find in a statue. And I can't explain, It's surely not his brain that makes me thrill. I love him because he's wonderful Because he's just old Bill. He can't play golf, or tennis, or polo, Or sing a solo, or row. He isn't half as handsome (It might be what he's got below ). He isn't tall and straight and slim, And he dresses far worse than Ted or Jim; And I can't explain why he should be just The one, one man in the world for me; He's just my Bill, an ordinary boy, He hasn't got a thing that I would brag about.( uh huh! ) And yet to be upon his knee So comfy and roomy feels natural to me. And I can't explain, It's surely not his brain that makes me thrill. I love him because he's... I don't know,(yes you do ) Because he's just my Bill.
hahahahaha :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: ROTFLMAO Wow, y'all are really talented! I wonder if we could get Weird Al Yankovic to perform some of these.
Thanks. I had a good time. I have to find some more to mutilate. I'm in that kind of mood. I am sure you can relate!
Your son'll come out Tomorrow Bet your bottom dollar That tomorrow He'll be gay! Just rubbin' his crotch, Tomorrow Clears away the boxers, Or the jockstrap 'Til there's none! When we fuck all day That's great, And lovely, I just stick in my bone, He'll moan, And Say, Oh! Your son'll come out Tomorrow So ya gotta jerk off 'Til tomorrow Come what may Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I'll fuck ya Tomorrow! But only When you Are gay!
Dix, Dix, Dix (To the tune "Bills, Bills, Bills" by Destiny's Child) First, you started out like a freak. (Freak.) Had me climbing walls like in Constantine. But now youre getting untouchable Aint doin the nasty like you used to do Humbly makin me beg for things Your booty should be handling. And now you ask to stay at my crib. (Crib.) Sleep all day and dont even wash the sheets And you have no veracity To even come and ask of me For a toothbrush so you can brush your teeth. You cackling, chicken headed gold digger. Silly ho, come along and pull my trigger. A quickie, for when it gets hard and youre the one who Could help me out. Instead a Barbie dull who makes a mayne wanna shout Can you suck my dick? Get Brokeback on my dick? Know I had control of my dick? So maybe we can do some tricks I dont think youre able Unless I have digital cable Youve been going around town. (Town.) Telling all the potential lovers youre my boo. I didnt say you were But you steady wishin that I was. Talkin like sewing circles Masterpiecing like youre my fiance And then you use my DSL (Broadband.) To go on LPSG dot org And then I hear from a friend youre cyber stalking You call my friend a liar just to cover up The phone numbers written on your butt. When I ask about them, you just say What? You cackling, chicken headed gold digger. Silly ho, come along and pull my trigger. A quickie, for when it gets hard and youre the one who Could help me out. Instead a Barbie dull who makes a mayne wanna shout Can you suck my dick? Get Brokeback on my dick? Know I had control of my dick? So maybe we can do some tricks I dont think youre able Unless I have digital cable Can you suck my dick? Get Brokeback on my dick? Know I had control of my dick? So maybe we can do some tricks This is the end of this song Please play with my muhfuggin' dong. :biggrin1:
Sung to the tune of Nothing Could Be Finer Nothing could be finer than to be in my vagina in the morning No ones could be sweeter than my pussy when you eat her in the morning Whilst my fingers twine about your chest hairYou whisper dirty deeds I long to share Strolling with your fingers where my dew is pearly early In the morning Trembling at your touch and at each kiss I pucker up at days dawning If I had Aladdin's lamp for only a day I'd make a wish and darling here's what I'd say Nothing could be finer than you fuckin my vagina In the morning! Nothing could be finer than you fuckin my vagina In the morning! With sincere apologies to: Words by Howard Dietz Music by Arthur Schwartz
Oh god, I do this all the time. A song will be playing or I'll remember it, and I'll just substitute something completely bizarre/inappropriate/humorous in. I just ended a sentence with a preposition. I'm...I'm shocked, and a little confused. The world is falling apart. Save me.
Some day, when I'm awfully low, When the world is cold, I will feel a glow just thinking of you... And the way you lick tonight. Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm And your cheeks so soft, There is nothing for me but to love you, And the way you lick tonight. With each word your tenderness grows, Tearing my fear apart... And that laugh that wrinkles your nose, It touches my foolish heart. Lovely ... Never, ever change. Keep that breathless charm. Won't you please arrange it ? 'Cause I love you ... Just the way you lick tonight. Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm, Just the way you lick to-night.
Never Been to Me Hey brother, you brother Cursing at your life Youre a discontented Lawyer with a regimented life I've no doubt you dream about The things you never do But I wish someone had a talked to me Like I wanna talk to you Oh I've been to Georgia and California And anywhere I could run Took the hand of a soldier man And we made love in the sun But I ran out of places And friendly faces Because I had to be free I've been to paradise But I've never been to me Please baby, please brother Don't just walk away Cause I have this need to tell you Why I'm all alone today I can see so much of me Still living in your eyes Won't you share a part of a weary heart That has lived a million lives Oh I've been to Butte And to Camucia And Ive done it on a Vespa I moved liked Harlow in hot Chicago And showed 'em what I've got I've been undressed by kings And I've seen some things That a women ain't sposed to see I've been to paradise But I've never been to me Hey, you know what paradise is It's a lie, a fantasy We create about people and places As we'd like them to be But you know what truth is It's that adjustable rate mortgage And it's that woman you fought with this morning The same one you're going to make love with tonight That's truth, that's love Some times I've been to crying for unborn children That might have made me complete But I took the sweet life And never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet I've spent my life exploring The subtle whoring That cost too much to be free Hey brother, I've been to paradise But I've never been to me I've been to paradise Never been to me Been to Georgia and California And anywhere I could run I've been to paradise Never been to me Oh I've been to Butte And to Camucia And Ive done it on a Vespa I've been to paradise Never been to me
"Round the Mountain" She was going round the mountain going 90 miles an hour, when the chain on her bicycle broke, she wound up in the grass, with a sprocket up her ass, and her titties playing "Dixie" on the spokes Thank You ,Thank You , very much
From the thread: http://www.lpsg.org/women-s-issues/50527-why-white-men-better-cunnilingus-5.html#post835495 Quote: Originally Posted by fivesalive http://www.lpsg.org/images36/buttons/viewpost.gif personally i love taking a stroll downtown... When you're alone and she is making you horny You can always go - downtown When you've got worries, all the noise and the hurry Seems to help, I know - downtown Just listen to the music of her purring like a kitty Linger on the clitoris which looks so very pretty How can you lose? Think how you'll excite her there You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares So go downtown, things'll be great when you're Downtown - no finer place, for sure Downtown - everything's waiting for you :biggrin1: