Major embarrasment....

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by afleitch, Nov 28, 2004.

  1. afleitch

    afleitch Active Member

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    I'm a bit of a lurker here, i've posted before but this incident deserved an entry here. I'm about 8.5 hard and about 5 1/2 to 6 soft, but i have fairly large testicles so it pushes it up. Anyways I put on my jeans with the button up fly as I always do. I show a bulge, but it's never bothered me. They had been wearing a bit thin and two of the buttons were loose. So I met up with some friends and sat down and what happened..Yup, the two loose buttons pinged off, hit a glass and part of the package (in underwear luckily) came poking out in public. I apologise, I was bright red and I tried to hide it, but the fly wasn't concealing it. So I had to grab my jumper and pull it right down over and put on my jacket. Those that know me laughed, those that didnt had no clue where to look. I'm considering buying zip fly jeans next time! It ruined an otherwise good night! I feel a bit better about it today, so i though't I'd share.
     
  2. Pappy

    Pappy Member

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    Don't put too much trust in zippers, they burst too.
     
  3. Max

    Max New Member

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    Welcome afleitch.

    This sort of story always reminds me of the old joke:
    Q: What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a maggot inside?
    A: Finding half a maggot.

    In other words, it is embarrassing to split a zip open, tear a seam, lose a couple of fly buttons (such an apt name ;)) at the pub sharing a drink with a few of your mates, among whom your special attributes are likely to be common knowledge anyway. My guess would be that more people know than you might think. And you can deal with it right away.

    But far far more worrying to arrive home at the end of the day (or maybe in the gents wc half way through the day) to discover a credibility gap (as my wife terms it) and even worse a significant expanse of underwear bulging happily through it. Then you get the sweats as you think back: When did I last check? Where have I been? Who was there? Was I sitting or standing?

    The only solution is to be a bit picky, preferably very picky, about what you wear. It took me a while, and a good number of split zips, ripped seams etc to get this sorted. I still get the odd episode even now, I think in my case it goes with the territory, but I find that keeping an general watch for signs of stressed seams etc will tend to deal with it.
     
  4. Imported

    Gold Member

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    AOX3: True funny story;

    I am a lawyer, and a few years ago, I was attending a deposition, and for some unknown reason, as I shifted in my chair and attempted to 'adjust' for comfort, my zipper broke and the white underwear showed up against my black suit pants, protruding goods and all. Of course, I was embarrassed and attempted to be discreet, even going so far as to hold my legal pad in front of me as we left the court reporters office. I managed to get through the rest of the day with only a few smartass comments from my all female staff, who, through conversations with my wife, know of my 'blessings', (but her lack of discretion is another story).

    Anyway it was voting day, and I had cut it close so that I didn't have time to go home and change clothes before the polls closed, So as I entered the polling place, I grabbed an umbrella out of the back seat of my car, intending to hold it in front of me. All went well, until I was about to enter the booth, when an older gentleman came up to me and said you cannot take that umbrella in there, I will hold it for you. I politely declined and whispered to him, I need to take it, I was at a deposition and my zipper broke, so unless you want me to put on a show, please let me take it in there. He looked down at my crotch to verify my story, and said, while rolling his eyes, "that must have been one helluva deposition", gave me a wink, and let me vote.


    Thats it, embarrassing at the time, but funny now,

    AOX3
    Thats it
     
  5. drambone2001

    Gold Member

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    Hey friend, it's just that big Scottish package. Not much you can do except enjoy a hot Highland Fling with it!
     
  6. hungthick

    hungthick New Member

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    funny stuff--nothing like that has happened to me but would love to read other stories of the same.
     
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