Major problem, can't cum during sex

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by D_Ephraim Rippedring, Nov 29, 2008.

  1. D_Ephraim Rippedring

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    Got a bit of a problem guys, I'm not a virgin, and I've had sex a few times. However, for some reason I can't cum. In the past I've put it down to alcohol yet I can't do it when I'm sober too. And its not from jerking off too much cause I've waited over a week.

    I have not got problems with erections or anything else. I also get really bad stage fright when I pee. So I think they maybe related. With the peeing I can only do it when no one is in the room...which would be a little difficult during sex :redface:

    Anyway, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    J
     
  2. trentster

    trentster New Member

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    I've never had sex, but when I've tried a fleshlight I didn't feel anything. You might have nerve damage, but it might also be jacking off too much. Just putting off a week doesn't necessarily fix it. Especially if you masturbated frequently. The erection doesn't have anything to do with cumming. An erection is just blood flow.
     
  3. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    That's a pretty dang tight cut buddy. Foreskin restoration may help. It has me. Sometimes it's still hard to cum, but it feels a lot better when I do. As for sex, well, there's varying degrees of circumcision. That's a fact. Sex doesn't feel like much to me. I can keep an erection, but it's difficult to get the right stimulation and the right amount of stimulation to orgasm during sex. It's easier just to do it myself. Also, you might try something in your butt. If I hadn't have been cut so tightly, prostate stimulation might have been a secondary focus. But because there's not so much sensation with my dick, any little bit of extra stimulation helps.
     
  4. BS76

    BS76 Active Member

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    To the OP, I used to have the "problem" of not being able to come, but in reality it allowed me to rock my girls' worlds for hours on end at times or until they finally just couldn't take it anymore. Eventually I found one girl with the perfect ass and height combo so when doing "froggy style" (doggy, but her face is in the pillow and her hips are lower that standard doggy) that made me spread my legs a little wider than I'd usually do and for some reason that let me release. Until I found that position and would repeat that sensation other ways I was stuck like you are.
     
  5. cutedorkwho

    cutedorkwho Member

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    Are you actually into this chick?
     
  6. D_Ephraim Rippedring

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    Yeah, at first I thought it was great, but its beginning to really upset me cause it feels like I'm a failure somehow. Thanks for that I'll try the different positions.



    Yeah dude I am.
     
  7. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    Okey, maybe not much help here from a virgin. You also are pee shy, well me too a few years ago, and still but not that much anymore. The difficult part is that you have to stop concentrate on peeing, because it's a pressure in your mind and that will stop you for being able to pee. I think it is the same with sex and cumming. You are aroused and get hard, but you also think that you have to cum and u focuse too much on it. Sex have to be an act you like and do without thinking I have to cum for her. If you keep that in mind and just enjoy it and the girl with you and focuse on her and not on you cumming, then it will work. But it takes some time and practice (so not a bad thing if you think about the practice). Try to do sex without thinking that you have to cum for her, it's just sex, let her enjoy and when you see she enjoys it, you will see that that is horny enough too for you to cum. But it takes some time mate :)
    Hope this helped a bit...
     
  8. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    I was pee shy till I had sex, then it just kinda solved itself. I don't cum easy either, but I do cum eventually. The first time I had sex, we went at it for two hours before she got me to cum, but what an orgasm it was! :eek::redface:

    I just figured it was jerking off too much and only being used to my own hand and not the touch of another person, and just thinking too much. :rolleyes: But I'm not complaining, and I'm sure she's not either. We'd rather go all night anyways. :wink:
     
  9. bigguy11211

    bigguy11211 New Member

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    Yeah, there seem to be a few people suffering from this, and I have done too. I think it's a recent thing, what with the sudden and total availability of porn on the internet. Guys are jacking off either too much or in a very unique,non-sex like way. I've posted this a few times, but it never hurts to do so again. Check it out, I think this is probably your issue:

    How to cure masturbation death grip
     
  10. D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead

    D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead Account Disabled

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    Couple of thoughts ...
    • do lots of foreplay before you enter her, so your body is really excited and sexually charged;
    • remember to breathe! breathe deeply into your belly
    • relax your jaw, shoulders, and stomach muscles
    • find a comfortable position where you can have a great, comfortable relaxed fuck (I like side-by-side)
    • when you find yourself feeling like a failure, STOP and watch a mental movie of yourself having sex and enjoying a body-shaking orgasm
    • even fucking more slowly might help; just enjoy how it feels to have your cock slipping deep inside someone
     
  11. D_Aston Asstonne

    D_Aston Asstonne Account Disabled

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    If the lady doesnt truly turn me on i cant cum either.
     
  12. MarkLondon

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    Is she doing anything to help you cum? Maybe some kegels or pilates exercises could add to your sensations down there.
     
  13. Bw51102

    Bw51102 Member

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    this happens sometimes, i think its just nerves. then once it happens once it only starts to trip you out more about it and it can get worse. you just have to relax and not think about it. if you cum cool, if not cool too. then youll cum buckets.

    or go after your prostate, thats surefire.
     
  14. NineBreaker05

    NineBreaker05 New Member

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    also have this prob
     
  15. CALAMBO

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    ALL GREAT ADVICE...know that if you can relax and enjoy the climax will happen...my fav position is reverse cowgirl...she then can use her free hands for her and your pleasure...if she will have her massage your anus,...that extra will send you there...most women are afraid of that area...lube her and you in that AREA...,then the area massaged is no longer taboo...if you slip your finger in her ass she will get the message...if not tell her...relax it is just sex.
     
  16. D_skeaflea

    D_skeaflea New Member

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    I have the same problem: I've had sex a few times, i've gotten the guy off but i've still never cum. They got so hurt and disappointed that I couldn't cum, and even sat me down with a porn on to try and get me to jerk off, but it was this shitty commercial porn and it just turned me off.

    I'll go one further: I've tried to get my dick sucked a few times, and I can hardly even feel it. HAH!. . .oh, wait, I mean *hysterically crying*
     
  17. MCA

    MCA Active Member

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    Are you on anti-depressants? Those will fuck your cumming ability up something royal.
     
  18. SpeedoMike

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    are you taking any medications or drugs? some have side effects which affect sex, specifically what you describe.

    I'd suggest you discuss this with an M.D. who will do a workup to determine if there is a physical problem causing it. he may recommend you work with a sex counselor or therapist/psychologist.

    best you actively follow up on this or it will probably get worse, e.g. performance anxiety.
     
  19. Mike7

    Mike7 New Member

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    Try tensing your leg & ass muscles to trigger it.
     
  20. Max

    Max New Member

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    I experienced this when I first had sex. It was a surprise, because I had always been so highly charged that premature ejaculation was by far the more likely scenario than no orgasm at all. I think it was to do with having very copious ejaculations; the psychological barrier to releasing inside a partner was all to do with being very self-conscious about the mess I knew I would make.

    For me, it was a question of learning to let go. I think the more psychologically relaxed you get (as you gain experience) the less it is likely to happen. In my case, it never recurred once I had dealt with it.

    Good luck.
     
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