Tight_N_Juicy

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If you're in a long term relationship you probably are familiar with the concept of "make-up sex". After a fight, the sex seems to be more intense. I don't want to say "better" because that's not the right word.. It's just noticably different. It's like reaffirming the bond. Mending the wound with physical contact.

I'll spare the details, but this past few days has been hectic for us. Our relationship was hanging by a thread. Communication and forgiveness are a huge factor.

This morning, we used our climax juices as super glue.

I don't ever want to feel another penis inside me as long as I live. He's the only one. His hands can touch me. No one else.

And the thought makes me so happy. My hands are the only for him. This pussy is the only one he wants. Truly.

I love him so much.

What's your experience with make-up sex? Is it noticably different? Better? Worse? I want stories.
 
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deleted1074483

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sorry to hear you got to that point but pleased to hear you've worked through it and your love and commitment shine through your post.

I do absolutely agree though, after a fight/argument when you're heated and pent up anyway, i think the make up sex is as much a release of all that pent up energy as anything?

It is definitely different to everyday sex, its been pretty raw like all your emotions laid bare and coming together at once, so i guess its no surprise that it does feel really intense and bonding.

I think sex is also a great way to re-engage that intimacy and emotional bond, when you're literally inside your partner sharing juices together you literally can't get any closer to being 'one' together??
 

Sagittarius84

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I came into my marriage very wary of make up sex because I've always experienced it or observed it as a tool for self enjoyment by toxic people.
I like the idea of it, and have no doubt the intense experience it can be but I can never help thinking during or after if this was a reaffirming celebration of conflict resolution or a patronizing tool of conflict resolution. A lot of the amicability expectations before and after sex don't really play well into this dynamic either.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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I came into my marriage very wary of make up sex because I've always experienced it or observed it as a tool for self enjoyment by toxic people.
I like the idea of it, and have no doubt the intense experience it can be but I can never help thinking during or after if this was a reaffirming celebration of conflict resolution or a patronizing tool of conflict resolution. A lot of the amicability expectations before and after sex don't really play well into this dynamic either.

For me, for Us, it's a bonding mechanism. You may think I'm "toxic", but that's subjective anyway. So is the thread itself, so..

I didn't fully realize exactly how physically exclusive we are to one another up until the event that triggered this recent turmoil. Experiencing that physical contact after being so mentally distant for days really did make me feel closer to him. Not just because he was inside me, the *way* he was inside me.

Like I said, it wasn't "better", it was just noticably different in a way I will always remember. Those times are some of the times I can recall and really feel bonded with him as a partner.

Our sex is amazing. We have it often. It's never boring. It's never "routine", but this morning was definitely one I will remember for the rest of my life. When he wrapped his arm around me in the middle of the night I felt immediately soothed. We talked, it was what I needed. Then this morning when he came to me, ready to feel me again (honestly after this fight I thought it would be awhile before we'd have sex, so happy I was wrong) it was like my shattered puzzle was complete again.

I understand if others feel differently, but for us... It was definitely a bonding moment.
 

Sagittarius84

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It wasn't making a judgment of you or your situation, simply my experiences and observations that prevent me from being so enthusiastic about it.
As I said I like the idea of it, but my reality of make up sex as per your original question, is noticeably different
 
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Stu311

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We have fortunately not fought in a long while. Too much crap outside of our love life (especially at work, annoying landlord etc.) for either of us to have any energy left to fight the other, plus we tend to be quite good at compromising and talking things out - I’m also very keen to keep things peaceful between us as we are each other’s stabilising force so to speak.

We did fight more often in the past and it very often ended in sex. As the tension eased off I would hug her and then start rubbing her back, slowly working my way down to her butt, grabbing it and bringing her closer, followed by us starting kissing. I could tell she was turned on, probably keener than usual, and her pussy would be soaking wet by the time I’d get to it. She’d reach for my cock, skip the lube and give me a quick rough handjob to make sure I was hard before guiding my cock towards her pussy. The sex was usually hard, deep strokes, moaning and no speaking, finishing in a hot sweaty release, followed by some post coital cuddling and a shower. We’d then go on happily for the rest of the day, using the fucking to put the anger behind us.

It was all very raw, little foreplay, hard banging, no talk kind of sex that felt good in a very primitive way (and also usually made my penis sore, but was worth it). I was probably happier that it signalled we were back on good terms though. Looking back, I don’t think that sex is worth having a fight for, but should we fight, it is a very much welcome release.
 

EllieP

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If you're in a long term relationship you probably are familiar with the concept of "make-up sex". After a fight, the sex seems to be more intense. I don't want to say "better" because that's not the right word.. It's just noticably different. It's like reaffirming the bond. Mending the wound with physical contact.

I'll spare the details, but this past few days has been hectic for us. Our relationship was hanging by a thread. Communication and forgiveness are a huge factor.

This morning, we used our climax juices as super glue.

I don't ever want to feel another penis inside me as long as I live. He's the only one. His hands can touch me. No one else.

And the thought makes me so happy. My hands are the only for him. This pussy is the only one he wants. Truly.

I love him so much.

What's your experience with make-up sex? Is it noticably different? Better? Worse? I want stories.

You have no idea how much I loved reading this from you!!!

Smooches, T!

:heart::heart::heart:
 
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longstroke7

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If you're in a long term relationship you probably are familiar with the concept of "make-up sex". After a fight, the sex seems to be more intense. I don't want to say "better" because that's not the right word.. It's just noticably different. It's like reaffirming the bond. Mending the wound with physical contact.

I'll spare the details, but this past few days has been hectic for us. Our relationship was hanging by a thread. Communication and forgiveness are a huge factor.

This morning, we used our climax juices as super glue.

I don't ever want to feel another penis inside me as long as I live. He's the only one. His hands can touch me. No one else.

And the thought makes me so happy. My hands are the only for him. This pussy is the only one he wants. Truly.

I love him so much.

What's your experience with make-up sex? Is it noticably different? Better? Worse? I want stories.


This is so beautiful. I hope he realizes how much you love him
 
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thirteenbyseven

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For me, for Us, it's a bonding mechanism. You may think I'm "toxic", but that's subjective anyway. So is the thread itself, so..

I didn't fully realize exactly how physically exclusive we are to one another up until the event that triggered this recent turmoil. Experiencing that physical contact after being so mentally distant for days really did make me feel closer to him. Not just because he was inside me, the *way* he was inside me.

Like I said, it wasn't "better", it was just noticably different in a way I will always remember. Those times are some of the times I can recall and really feel bonded with him as a partner.

Our sex is amazing. We have it often. It's never boring. It's never "routine", but this morning was definitely one I will remember for the rest of my life. When he wrapped his arm around me in the middle of the night I felt immediately soothed. We talked, it was what I needed. Then this morning when he came to me, ready to feel me again (honestly after this fight I thought it would be awhile before we'd have sex, so happy I was wrong) it was like my shattered puzzle was complete again.

I understand if others feel differently, but for us... It was definitely a bonding moment.


Why the hell can't we men express ourselves like that? I am truly mesmerized. Now I must strive to go beyond pointing at it, twirling it like a propeller, and then sticking it in with a "cleared for takeoff!" Heretofore I thought I was a born romantic.
 

Sagittarius84

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I think another layer to this, and maybe why I have aversion to the construct of make-up sex, is that it often acts as a facilitator of sexual gatekeeping or a passive aggressive way of coercing compliant or amicable behaviors after the fact.

Though I'm sure this exists amongst all along the gender spectrum and relationship constructs, I think the heteronormative monogamous example really illustrates the potential for abuse, intentional or otherwise, because frankly, generally, only one partner(traditionally the male) is required to capitulate or offer the most compromise to resolve a situation to the other's tastes, as their access to sexual intimacy is the only one who's is seriously on the line.
Honestly my experiences have led me to the point to where I'd much rather have angry sex with the issue on hold, than some supposed resolution having been met and any further sexual opportunities being contingent upon enthusiasm for the make up sex and an expectation of no further grievances after the fact.
 

techpump

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My wife and I talk about the fact that we never really ever have the opportunity to have make-up sex because we don't really fight or argue about much at all. We had to really think back over the last 23 years together, and we think we had for real, post-argue or fight, make-up sex 3 times. They were "we were yelling, one of us were crying (yes I cry!!), one of us went into another room alone, the other of us came in there a while later, we touched, we hugged, we kissed through tear-salted lips, and fucked each other pretty damn good" events.

I wish I could say they were polarizing or deeply important to our relationship. In several ways those make-up moments may have been a really big deal to us both, but we took those moments in stride and just continued to do each other afterwards as much as possible. I wish I could say the sex was really good or even better than normal. My wife doesn't think so, she has many memories of better sex in different kinds of contexts. We do think that the few make-up sex events we did have did help whatever pain and problem we were dealing with. Our biggest arguments have always been based on the most stupid causes. Really just dumb when we look back at them.

We did wonder, though, if couples that do argue and fight more have more make-up sex, which is very good and super fulfilling for them both, and if they are in a cycle of fight-then-fuck-then-love-then-fight-repeat and it could hamper their pathways to sexual freedom and enlightenment, or, a solid, non-fight-and-sex based relationship. Tight_N_Juicy in no way do I think you are in this kind of relationship, I know you have way more healthy and fun sex than make-up sex, hence your thread here! But, its something my wife and I have wondered for years since we've been together for so long and almost everyone we know has already left their marriages and relationships that were supposed to be long-term or very solid. Sex in all its forms, and contexts, fascinates us and make-up sex and the mystique of it is def food for thought. We've known a woman or two who actually admitted to us that the only reason they were staying in a toxic relationship was to continue fighting because the make-up sex was so fucking good for them!!! I don't get it, but I kind of get it; my wife didn't get that at ALL.

Thanks for this topic Tight_N_Juicy it is very interesting!
 
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deleted5700751

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for us it's like the ultimate proof and reassurance that we arent mad at eachother anymore; if either of us is still shitty with the other one the last thing we want is closeness or sex.
 
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deleted4500261

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I have been in 3 long term relationships. The 2 before the one I am currently in had a good amount of make up sex. It was usually pretty amazing. We always were reconnecting the “bond” but also blowing off steam from the argument…in a healthy way.
I’ll spare the details but the last makeup sex (it was the last time we had sex) with my ex wife was the best sexual experience I have ever had, from a purely sexual perspective.
I’m glad you both are reconnecting and sorry you’ve been having difficulties. Relationships can be challenging.
 

Scarletbegonia

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I’ve been in relationships where he picked fights just to get to the make up stage. At first, yeah, great intensity. Then it began to be an astounding energy drain. Manipulative, childish in approach.

We shifted to psychedelic blow-outs to reaffirm the bond, until it frayed too far for our ability to repair.

Now, I’m with a man who was paired with a couple different women who loved the intensity, and manipulated him with it. Yes, he also liked the sex itself, but grew tired of it seemingly being their only foreplay.

So we early on discussed my method. We have bonding nights with regularity, psychedelic and not.