Making a woman feel comfortable

[Bluebiss01]

I need some advice from women themselves. My current girlfriend is very self conscious about her body which I can't understand as she's slim and has a very nice pair of E cups...anyway...i'm not here to question her on why she's so self conscious about showing her extremely nice body off, i'm here to ask you, the women, for advice on how I can make her feel more comfortable in her own skin. Not just around me in the bedroom but just generally.

I've seen her nude on many occasions but she tells me that the lights have to be very dim. Of course, I want her to feel as comfortable as she can be so I don't make a point at staring at her chest/stomach area.

I just wish she could feel more comfortable because she really does have a beautiful body, and I'd like her to enjoy it, and of course, myself.

Any help would mean alot. She is so important to me.

Blue x

 

[StraightCock4Her]

I have noticed, from a guy's perspective, that giving a girl compliments on her body can be very hard... Alot of people don't know how to take compliments. Compliments are about the only way I can imagine you could do much about it... I like to throw in random "I love your body, I could kiss it all night" type things that aren't really compliments but more statements of fact- that maybe she didn't realize.

I think that low self-esteem in general could be her problem. There are ways to work on that, too.

 

[Aileana]

I have noticed, from a guy's perspective, that giving a girl compliments on her body can be very hard... Alot of people don't know how to take compliments. Compliments are about the only way I can imagine you could do much about it... I like to throw in random "I love your body, I could kiss it all night" type things that aren't really compliments but more statements of fact- that maybe she didn't realize.

I think that low self-esteem in general could be her problem. There are ways to work on that, too.

Absolutely right. I had the same sort of problem (I still do, sometimes), and the only thing that got me over it was encouragement from the person I was with. StraightCock has the right idea though. It's easier to handle it if someone says something that has more feeling to it, than just the empty "you're pretty" or "you look fine".
(and that's not to imply that that is what you're doing, just saying)

 

[MagicJohnsonFan]

Absolutely right. I had the same sort of problem (I still do, sometimes), and the only thing that got me over it was encouragement from the person I was with. StraightCock has the right idea though. It's easier to handle it if someone says something that has more feeling to it, than just the empty "you're pretty" or "you look fine".
(and that's not to imply that that is what you're doing, just saying)

Yep. There must be something genetic in most females that can make us feel "less than." When I was in my early 20's I was thin, cut, and in GREAT shape! Oddly, I can only see that NOW - at the time I was worried that my stomach wasn't flat enough. (HA! What I wouldn't give for that body now!)

Just continue to sincerely tell her how you feel about her body. Sincerity is very important. We know when we aren't thin, where our cellulite is, etc. and lying to try to make us feel good only makes us wonder what else you're lying about. My BF tells me I'm beautiful first thing in the morning when I'm wearing a ratty bathrobe and no makeup - and I believe him because I can see the love in his eyes.

It may also help her self-esteem if she were to participate in activities that will empower her.

And kudos to you for being so thoughtful of her!!!

 

[Mike7]

Compliments, compliments and more compliments but mean it.

What multi said too, she'll look back in 10 or 20 years and wish she had the body she has now so she should have fun enjoy it.

 

[Steve26]

I've heard it said that men are more visually aroused than women, so you're definitely not the only couple where the man wants the lights turned up more than the woman during sex. It's actually fairly common, I think.

Steve

 

[Nala]

It's still hard to take compliments. I've learned to accept the fact that other people look at me in a different way than I do. The only reply I can come up with is: "Thank you", because I really appreciate the compliments, but too often I'm blushing and feeling uncomfortable at the same time.

I know why it's hard for me; I know I've done everything possible to fight it -and will continue to fight it-, but it's still there. Sometimes in whisper-mode, sometimes screaming out loud.

I can handle it, rationally. But emotionally... it's hard...

What I want to say to Bluebiss01: Sometimes 'making a woman feel comfortable' is out of reach. It's not you, keep on trying, just don't expect her to change overnight, for it took me 42 years now and I'm still far away from feeling really comfortable.

 

[Not_Punny]

Tell her to post a gallery in LPSG!! :biggrin: Worked for me. I had no idea I looked good until I was able to see myself through other people's eyes.

Or if not that, take photos and show her. She has to SEE herself through another set of eyes, because the "eyes" she is using are clouded with past bad experiences and prejudices.