axolotl27: Although I had encouragement from girls before my wife to wear clothes that fit, it was my wife who gave me the confidence to throw away my baggy pants and dress "like normal people". She said, "Those who won't focus on your face aren't worth worrying about". However, she never let me wear boxer shorts. I suppose a penis hanging to the knees that was of normal width could be disguised by tight boxer shorts, but one 8.5 in. around gives the appearance of a baseball bat down one leg. Wearing briefs and tucking it back doesn't work because then I'm sitting on it and it creates a huge bulge up the back of my pants. So I have always worn it out across my thigh and doubled back. This way, I can cover it with a jacket or a long sweater when the need arises. Without a jacket, there's an enormous bulge that unfortunately is visible from the side as well as from the front making a person think that I have an erection. As a woman once told me,--"It looks like you've got the Sunday roast in your pocket". What makes it look even more ridiculous is that I still have only a 29 in. waist and narrow hips, so I'm even more out of proportion. Having said all this, I was in a large department store in August looking for a colourful hand-towel for my kitchen. I was wearing a t-shirt and track pants. I didn't find what I was looking for so I decided to go elsewhere. On the way out of the store, I was stopped by two women who turned out to be plain-clothes security people. I had seen the two of them as I was leaving the towel section staring at my pants and then I noticed them hurrying around a few aisles over so they could have another look. This happens all the time so I didn't pay any attention. They showed me their credentials and mentioned that I seemed to have something down the front of my pants and they'd like me to accompany them to the manager's office. I told them that the bulge was "all me". Silence. Then one of them said,"I don't think so" and sort of smirked. So I went with them, thinking to myself, "This is going to be hilarious. I hope nobody in the room has a heart condition". One of them waited with me while the other went inside for a minute. When they called me inside they asked me to show them my ID, which I did. The manager said, "You seem to have something large down the front of your pants. Did you buy something in the store?" I quickly pulled down my track pants and briefs together. One of them came out with a big loud gasp. One of the women grabbed the corner of the desk. Maybe her knees were starting to buckle. The manager apologized and gave me a credit voucher of $100. So now I can say that at age 69, I've started on a new career,--Male Prostitute. And I'm not going to declare it under "earnings" on my 2003 tax form. AX.