Male Bonding vs. Female Bonding

SpeedoGuy

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. They can experience a deep sense of intimacy working together without talking at all. The bonding is usually around an activity.

I'm not really sure its "bonding," earl. Guys certainly do activities together and gradually become more and more comfortable doing more things together but its rarely ever seemed like "bonding" to me. Rather, its always seemed more like becoming comfortable working as a team like in sports or such. That doesn't involve much sharing except for short bursts of information related to the activity at hand.

Perhaps I'm a unique case (I don't really know), but I have met very few male friends or companions that I can seriously talk to about life issues. I'm not really interested in discussin sports trivia so I just don't get much chance to interact with other guys. Sure, I can go mountain biking or fishing with many guys I know but talk about important issues? It just doesn't happen.
 

B_Hung Jon

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I'm not really sure its "bonding," earl. Guys certainly do activities together and gradually become more and more comfortable doing more things together but its rarely ever seemed like "bonding" to me. Rather, its always seemed more like becoming comfortable working as a team like in sports or such. That doesn't involve much sharing except for short bursts of information related to the activity at hand.

Perhaps I'm a unique case (I don't really know), but I have met very few male friends or companions that I can seriously talk to about life issues. I'm not really interested in discussin sports trivia so I just don't get much chance to interact with other guys. Sure, I can go mountain biking or fishing with many guys I know but talk about important issues? It just doesn't happen.


Does this have to do with how you are raised? I'm as close emotionally to my male friends as I am to my female ones. We express our love for each other like in an open way. I live in california so maybe it's a thing that peeps do here more. If guys don't have some sensitive side to them, they don't get any girlfriends.
 

alwayshung

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I liked what rugbyboy had to say? Where did you get that from?

As far as male/male relationships go, I tend to be very honest and open and can tell it makes other men uncomfortable. It's hard to edit your behaviour but maybe I would have more m/m relationships if I was better at this? I tend to get along much better with women, but have realized I also need m/m friendships and have tried to become more comfortable around them. I have to say, I am able to admit to weakness/be open about things because I'm confident in myself, maybe it is this that can make others uncomfortable?

Do you think your comfort level/ability to bond well with other men is a reflection of the relationship you've had with your father? I've always had a very uncomfortable relationship with my father, and with other men as well until more recently.
 

psidom

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i do not have a problem drinking espresso and talking about art
or psychology or music.
haha...it is my preference.
i can't fix anything on a car...i am useless. :smile:
bowling i suck at...i love it in that dorky way.
i wish i could get them to give me the bumpers.
they always give 'em to the KIDS.
 

jerkdude75

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Yeah, men and women are just wired differently. I would say it probably goes all the way back to the caveman era... I mean, women didn't do much but cook and raise children. Men hunted. So women just sat around and talked about their kids, or shared recipes, and men hunted together. :biggrin: That's my insanely wild guess, though.
Since when does cooking and RAISING CHILDREN qualify as not much?
 

earllogjam

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But earl, I have to ask: are you talking about bonding, or socializing?

Well... I am talking about more about the process of how we become friends. How we go about creating bonds that lead to a deeper friendship. Just seems that guys and girls do this very differently. Socializing, or interacting with each other is a part of that. This is a gross generalization but guys are activity centered and girls are talk centered on how we create friendships IRL. Most guys just don't find sitting down with each other and dishing very exciting - or is it just me?

This pattern has been my experience here in this country and I was wondering if anyone else has noticed or experienced the same.