Male Coaches and Male Players in Lockeroom

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Omegaman, Nov 28, 2011.

  1. Omegaman

    Omegaman Member

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    Today another one was on the news here in the States, guys are now feeling okay to tell their stories of what happen to them. Good or Bad. I don't condone coaches touching on their male players when they are naked for whatsoever reasons. He can shout to tell them to hurry up and shower and get dressed. What your take guys?

    Now I feel this has changes the relationship for male coaches and male players in school. Today I stop by my gym lockeroom to piss and to my surprise white shower curtains have been installed over the weekend. Its been years without shower curtains. The shower stall need to get remodel year ago. Now WHITE shower curtains. Guys gonna swing on one and pull it down, slide around.

    Just saying that soon you can't be seen naked in the locker room. Don't know if this thread was mention before.
     
  2. Frodo46888

    Frodo46888 Active Member

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    Teammates "fool around" in the showers and locker room frequently, and as long as it's consensual - no one being bullied - it shouldn't be a big deal. Coaches sometimes forget they are no longer "one of the guys" and join in, and therein lies the problem. For some there is no sexual intent, but it's still not right. For others there well may be a sexual motivation, and it's hard to sort out one from the other. By acting like predators, they all get tarred with the same brush.

    Sometimes it's not the act itself that causes the damage; it's the way the rest of us respond to it that makes the victim feel bad. Casual, incidental contact can be dismissed and forgotten, but once identified as a sexual assault it may become a lasting psychological scar.

    In the recent newsworthy events, I don't know where the coaches fit in. Sexual predators? Just horsing around? Were the incidents exaggerated? Lacking video evidence we'll never know for sure. But coaches need to be more circumspect and keep their hands to themselves. I don't think curtains in the showers are necessary or helpful.
     
  3. arkfarmbear

    arkfarmbear New Member

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    You folks are stepping into dangerous waters. Expect this thread to be deleted.
     
  4. Countryguy63

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    Why? My immediate thoughts went to College lockerrooms :cool:
     
  5. Omegaman

    Omegaman Member

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    CNN and other Local News Media are taking about it, as the public stand we have no GAG Order for not to express our opinion on the matter at hand.:smile:

    I used to not trust my tennis coach with my son, just because of these stuff. I don't drop him off and come back in a hour or two like other parent do.
     
  6. bigbull29

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    You just took the words out of my mouth. While pedophilia is a form of sexual perversion, society's reaction upon hearing the the victim's abuse only reinforces the bad feelings in the victim by 1000%.

    I'm not sure that in North America there can be a healthy, adult-like discussion on pedophilia, or human sexuality in general. We are not that civilized. Yet we have no problem handling all the pornography all around us on cyberspace, tv, media and in magazines. Another contradiction that merits total disrespect.

    Why don't we ban locker under 18's from locker rooms, as well as keep all men away from children - even their own. Maybe then we'll come out of this pedophilia hysteria.
     
    #6 bigbull29, Nov 28, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2011
  7. jerryhall

    jerryhall New Member

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    This used to be fun, hot topic. Now that we find out kids have been raped in the locker room by their coaches, it kind of changes things. This is unfortunate, but true, it's not that fun to talk about anymore.
     
  8. mplsingleguy

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    What's a shame here is that there are steps taken... when kids are underage they want to grow up too soon- get fake IDs, get their driver's license, buy beer... all of that.

    In the social scene, some guys are horsing around with their buddies, others are finding outlet by smashing thru the line of scrimmage or guarding the hoop a bit intensely. Other guys feel comfortable about working thru their raging hormonal growth by locking the bedroom door and playing grab-ass- with either a cute skirt or a jockstrapped prepster.

    This doesn't happen overnight- and it's a highly situational and relational process that deserves the guidance or mentorship from a father figure- being that the actual sperm donor a reasonable facsimile. All of these back-to-back soundbites are going to jeopardize the role that a coach's playful ass slap plays. There are so many more legitimate attacks to our society than male role modeling.

    Why don't we hear about these cases in other cultures around the world? I'm sure abuse is universal, but the double standards in our messed up western society make it damn difficult to have a penis or hope that any boy will get out of the house and off to college without being embarrassed by his own perceived naked inadequacies.

    I hope the warlock trials aren't right around the corner. I know! Maybe if you stand naked in the shower and you DONT get a semi, that means you're a perve and should be castrated?!?!!? GOOD GRIEF.

    Sigh.
     
  9. Frodo46888

    Frodo46888 Active Member

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    Don't forget that there are also female sexual abusers. Statistically they'd be in the minority, though many may not be reported because the boy might be proud of "scoring" with an older woman. But anyone having sex with a 12-year-old can't be a good thing. Kids just aren't psychologically ready at that age.
     
  10. bigbull29

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    Boys' minds are getting so warped as society is trying to pervert what is so naturally male; and consequently, sin is being seen where there is none. And that, my friends, will do nothing to curtail pedophilia.
     
  11. mplsingleguy

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    well said.
     
  12. D_CountVonBhigBohner

    D_CountVonBhigBohner Account Disabled

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    Please! Let's not twist and turn this topic upsidedown. This isn't about boys being naked in a locker room, or horsing around in the showers. This is about underage boys being manipulated into having sex...usually alone with a sick adult. I wouldn't worry about leaving your son on the tennis court with a coach, or in a school locker room with the team. I WOULD worry if he starts buying him gifts, picking him up to bring him to a sporting event alone, or signing him out of school to have him sleep over!

    Like everything else, you need to use your common sense. This can happen with a coach, a teacher, or a stranger on the street. Just make sure you know who your child is spending time with.


     
    #12 D_CountVonBhigBohner, Nov 28, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2011
  13. Frodo46888

    Frodo46888 Active Member

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    Although the accused coaches already have been tried in the media, they haven't yet had their day(s) in court. Where there's smoke there is probably fire, but we don't yet know the facts, only the more sensational speculations.

    Still, a parent should know where and with whom their children are spending their time, and need to be alert when something seems amiss.
     
  14. matelalique

    matelalique Active Member

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    Again, this hysteria about paedophilia misses the point. I was abused by the husband of my mother's sister from the ages of 6-13, because of the total trust given to him. Studies show that in the region of 90% of abuse cases are a close family member.

    There is this stupid belief that we don't talk about sex with prepubescent kids - well that's when I needed it. I didn't need curtains in the showers, I needed a frank discussion at the age of 6 about what was and wasn't appropriate when people did it to me. This is what is going to stop abuse, not shower curtains.

    Keeping under-18s out of the showers really is not the issue, and I think is detrimental. The real answer is adverts on the cartoon network and nick-teens to reach the kids whose parents won't talk to them since they feel that they are too young to understand that when an adult sucks their 6 year old penis, then this is a problem.

    </rant>
     
  15. D_ob5cz

    D_ob5cz New Member

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    Having young children myself. Me and my wife have made it a point of letting our children know what is appropriate behavior with adults. I mean spelling it out, no one should see you naked but us, or give you a bath, help you use the restrooms, ECT. Im speaking of children of a young age, but still if you drive certain things home it will only help them when they are older. Usually it is trusted friends, relatives, who pray on this trust. If you know whats appropriate, when an adult gets naked with you in a shower you know its not ok. Im not saying young men shouldn't shower together in the right environment, like after practice. Im saying its not ok for adults to do those things.
     
  16. livinginmynose

    livinginmynose New Member

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    one word, consent . two words, legal age. many words, sexual exploration is fine, but leave it out of public spaces.
     
  17. D_CountVonBhigBohner

    D_CountVonBhigBohner Account Disabled

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    I disagree with some of your points. I am a nudist and visit nude beaches where there are nudist families. I have chatted with couples who have young children nude on the beach, in the water. Adults seeing children nude is not the issue. I would emphasize touching being 100% inappropriate...not seeing.



     
  18. CURVEDANDTHICKK

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    I agree with John 007. As a parent of two sons I can't think of any situation where an adult showering with one of my sons would have been appropriate. As a matter of fact they stopped showering with me when they were old enough to trust in the bath alone without constant supervision. Like it or not (and I know I'm going to touch a lot of nerves) there are quite a few pedophiles on here. Look at some of the topics. Other than a pedophile who else would start a topic about the size of their son's penis. Or how kids today are too reserved in locker rooms because they always have a towel on or shower with underwear on. No they are not prudes you are a pervert upset that you can't see a teenager's dick and ass. Good for them for protecting themselves from pedophiles. As parents their Mom and I are aware that there are perverted people out there who are going to be sexually attracted to underage boys. We have always monitored who our kids are around, males and females. My kid's mother's friend made what I considered an inappropriate comment about my oldest (16 at the time) when she said "damn your son is fine, you think he's into older women?" When my kid's Mom told me what she said (she also thought this was inappropriate even as a joke) I told her that she is never to be alone with the boys and they are never to go anywhere with her.

    Simply put, you are a pedophile if you are sexually attracted to underage children. And by the way a teenager is still a child by law even though they have their adult features. You are pedophile if not being able to see a kid naked in a locker room upsets you. You are a pedophile if your celebrity fantasy involves Justin Bieber. You are a pedophile if you have ever posted "Taylor Lautner (or any other teen celeb) is 18 now do think he is hung?" You are a pedo if you even know when teen celebs will turn 18.

    Sorry (actually no I'm not) if I hurt any feelings here but this whole Penn State/Sexual Abuse scandal scares the crap out of me because I have kids. You try so hard to protect them from anything and everything that may harm them but you can't be with them all the time. My boys are involved in quite a few sports and just the thought of a coach abusing them...well you know. My oldest son is an "adult" now at 18 so I don't worry as much. I know if he gets involved with a woman older than him then it's his decision and at this point I legally can't do anything about it but I won't like it if she is a cougar, because I know he can still be easily manipulated by someone way older than he is. Age brings experience and knowledge that he just doesn't have yet. OK I'm done ranting and venting and I will now sit back and watch the DL pedophiles tear me to shreds.
     
  19. D_CountVonBhigBohner

    D_CountVonBhigBohner Account Disabled

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    I think everyone has posted something about underage children on here. I don't think it makes them a pedophile....does it?

    "This post reminds me of my son when he was like 4 or 5 asking me why his "pee pee" got hard. They are growing up to be great young men but I miss those funny moments when they were little boys."

     
  20. Omegaman

    Omegaman Member

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    As a Dad's we are here to protect our son and dauther. Its not like it was when we were growing up. Our own relative we have to careful with too until they have your same heart beat for our children. Generation Y know more about sex than Geration X. Its the world of technology we live in.
     
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