Male empathy

[B_henry miller]

Sorry. I know my posts get ponderous sometimes. Maybe I should just get a blog already. Anyway, a straight guy on this forum wrote a while ago that one reason he came to this forum was for the empathy of it all. I thought this was interesting.

Discuss.

empathy - Wiktionary

 

[B_henry miller]

Actually, I'll start. I don't know if this topic interests anyone else, though.

Anyway, I was just looking at this porn as this occurred to me. One of the turn ons of porn is the sense of camaraderie for me. So much of our lives as males revolves around the desire to "score." This seems to be something that unifies us. Part of the appeal of porn is seeing another guy getting have this desire fulfilled.

 

[kjguy]

Yah, that's actually the deciding factor that got me to join too. I wanted to hear other guys' stories and experiences and compare them to mine. I wanted to give and recieve advice to people I can relate to. Us guys can understand each other best, and input from the girls always helps too. The support here is phenomenol, and I think it's all because of our male empathy!

 

[kjguy]

Actually, I'll start. I don't know if this topic interests anyone else, though.

Anyway, I was just looking at this porn as this occurred to me. One of the turn ons of porn is the sense of camaraderie for me. So much of our lives as males revolves around the desire to "score." This seems to be something that unifies us. Part of the appeal of porn is seeing another guy getting have this desire fulfilled.

I guess I can see that. I never made it a point to give into the stereotype that guys have this great desire to "score", however true it may be for the majority. But I guess seeing and knowing a guy is successfully getting off does give me an underlying sense of pride and happiness for him, which does end up turning me on in the end. I never really thought about it, but you're right about that whole feeling.

 

[B_cigarbabe]

I think that guys only have empathy,for other men only if, they are
"like"or similar to them. You can see a whole lot of hostility towards men
when other men,percieve a difference.
Of course not all men, are like this.
I just don't understand why we have to be hostile because some person is a little different from ourselves. this applies to women too.
cigarbabe:saevil:

 

[EBlend]

I grew up in a time and place where it was scary at times being gay. Way into adulthood I had a very real fear of straight men finding out I was gay. It took me many years, and friendships with really nice, caring straight guys to overcome this. I have one close straight guy friend with whom I can talk about almost any sexual issue--he's completely nonjudgemental and actually curious without having (I think) much interest in actually trying it. And I have a lot of curiosity about straight guys--just a lot of curiosity about people in general.

This friendship as well as others have gotten me a lot more comfortable with male comraderie. I'm not really fem or anything, just was always afraid of getting physically hurt by straight guys. (Long story, no I never did but there was a very well known story in my home town . . .) I actually really enjoy male/male friendships and sometimes especially with my straight guy friends because we can talk about "guy" stuff (sex) without worrying about whether we're going to do it or not. The couple times I have had "straight" guy friends seem to develop a crush on me actually became kind of uncomfortable because I wasn't sure what to do. Didn't want to step over the line, but the hugs were becoming, well, different. Other than those experiences, the male friendships where the lines were clearly defined have been really warm and friendly. I have learned that straight guys can actually care about me as a person and not hate me because I'm gay, and I really like that. And we can get past that and just talk about guy stuff, which I really like. I have only one or two friends like that and that's why I started to read this forum. It appears that with a few exceptions, most of the guys here don't care if you're gay or not and you can just talk about "stuff." There seems to be plenty of male empathy, straight, gay, and all gradations in between, and I like that.

 

[deleted37010]

endlessly diverse people gather to pay hommage to the big dick and leave feeling positive- today it happens in a cyber-community (LPSG); thousands of years prior it occured with dancing around a maypole. i'm just thankful to be a part of it!

 

[Kimahri]

Well, I develop empathy with most types of males. I've been a lot of things over my 36 years of life. Unfortunately though, not all guys can take me very well. I'm pretty odd in general, but enjoy deep platonic ties to guys.

 

[invisibleman]

I can empathize with anyone based on a Scientological Jedi mind trick known as the ARC of communication. A=affinity. R=reality. C=communication. It forms a complete triangle.

If I find something real, honest truth in someone's communication I am more susceptible to have affinity...an empathetic closure. Effective communication has high affinity and believability (reality) qualities. Ineffective communication has low affinity and low believability qualities. So if you establish high affinities and support what you say with beliveable facts to your audience...you will have achieved your goal at communicating with your audience.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

I think of it this way. If your buddy is getting pleasure from a sexual relationship or situation, you're happy for him. If I like someone whatever their gender, I'm going to want them to have a good life.

 

[Primal_Savage]

Guess, I'm a lot like Kimahri and the other guys that have posted to this thread. I'm very much an extrovert and an exhibitionist and thus a lot of guys can't take me very well either.

I also agree with cigarbabe. I have a lot of empathy for several guys (too numerous to mention) on this forum that have similar interests and really enjoy their PMs. What's really nice is to openly discuss ideas that I go out of my way to avoid discussing with co-workers and friends, other than a few of my closest buddies.

As I'm bi-, I do my best to suppress hostility to others irrespective of sexual preferences, unless someone attacks me first and persists to do so.

 

[earllogjam]

We all part of the collective unconscious Henry. We all much more alike than different. The ability to empathize with fellow people across cultural, racial and societal boundaries exemplify this. We all know at a very basic level what is good and bad, what feels good or not, what is right and wrong simply because we all know what it's like to be human.