male "true bisexuals": as rare as unicorns?

[voyeuristic]

Jack - with that hot foreskin, please do!

 

[houtx48]

in the immortal words of carrie bradshaw " bi is only a stop on the way to gayville''.....

 

[invisibleman]

Invisible Man - I guess what I'm saying is that I've dated plenty of self-professed bisexuals who claimed that they wanted to get with other dudes (with or without me), but always found lots of excuses not to get around to it. Where, pray tell, are the "right places"? It seems like the only women I know who are involved with actively bisexual guys are in the RPG/pagan/nerd community, and gamers/new-agey types don't really appeal to me at all.

Well, you should write out what you do want from a bisexual threesome experience. From the type and personality of men or women...and put an ad in "ANYTHING THAT MOVES" or some bisexual resource. You may even have to check some of those polyamorous support groups and resources. Write down what you want and what you aren't interested in. You never know. You may meet some peeps that can help you out. Maybe you could start a group so that you can meet for threesome couplings.

 

[voyeuristic]

invisible - I definitely haven't had a problem spelling out what I'm looking for; I _have_ had a problem finding it. Not much luck with most of the bisexual resources I've encountered to date; seems to be a disproportionate amount of over-40 folks.

bi_mmf - yeah, I understand the divide between the gender distribution of who you end up coupling w/and who you fuck casually. Would I be wrong in guessing that you probably end up having relationships with more women and sleeping w/more men? Because that seems to be the pattern I've come across.

 

[marleyisalegend]

I disagree. From what I've seen, there are LOTS of guys who sleep with both sexes. The number of bisexuals is probably UNDERestimated because of all the man who are straight even though they engage in bisexual behavior.

When there's less stigma against male-on-male action, more bisexuals will come out of the closet and stop all that "straight but curious" bullshit.

I like chocolate. Period, I'm not "chocolate-curious", I don't hesitate to eat chocolate because I'm unashamed about it. If you call me a chocolate lover I won't argue that I'm a vanillia lover that just snacks on chocolate from time to time.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

I've been attracted to boys who like boys for as long as I can remember, but I've yet to find that elusive guy who actively sleeps with both sexes. They either seem to be mostly-straight boys who are liberated enough to be able to admit when another guy's good-looking (and who might given in to the occasional drunken public makeout, eager to tap in on the chic value of queerness) or mostly-gay boys who like being platonically affectionate with their gal pals and will give them an occasional tongue kiss just for kicks. I've been involved with both genders myself and I'm definitely not biphobic, but most of the guys I've met who claimed they were "50/50" seemed to default to the heterosexual privilege of a relationship with women, or made claims that they were attracted to men sexually but not emotionally. I would love to meet a guy who's genuinely attracted to and interested in sleeping with both me and other dudes, but I'm beginning to wonder if this only happens in my dreams. MMF is a big turn-on for me but I don't really have much desire to pursue it with guys who aren't going to get into it with each other, too, and who are only doing it for the pussy.

(I guess I should add that I live in the SF Bay Area, so if it ain't happenin' for me here, it's probably not happenin' anywhere.)

I live in LA and I think it's happening more here than in San Francisco just because of the number of people here. I also think that a lot of bi guys are primary interested in only the sex, as in blow jobs, with other guys. I think you're right about many guys who can't get into other guys emotionally. I think that when they do, the sex is much more intense. I have met guys here in LA who are truly 50/50 bi but I also think that they're looking for more stable relationships with either gender (or both) rather than hook ups.

 

[voyeuristic]

Jon - I'm open to either relationships or hookups with these guys; I guess if they were only interested in men sexually, that would be okay, but I think you're right: even when things are casual, the ability to be fully present emotionally can make things a lot more intense.

On a completely unrelated note, you have a hottass body!

 

[B_bi_mmf]

Very well put!!!

I disagree. From what I've seen, there are LOTS of guys who sleep with both sexes. The number of bisexuals is probably UNDERestimated because of all the man who are straight even though they engage in bisexual behavior.

When there's less stigma against male-on-male action, more bisexuals will come out of the closet and stop all that "straight but curious" bullshit.

I like chocolate. Period, I'm not "chocolate-curious", I don't hesitate to eat chocolate because I'm unashamed about it. If you call me a chocolate lover I won't argue that I'm a vanillia lover that just snacks on chocolate from time to time.

 

[Sjembek]

gamers/new-agey types don't really appeal to me at all.

Haha, well, I suppose I fit very well in that category so maybe your answer lies there... maybe loads of true 50/50 bi buys are actually in that category.

My recommendation would be to expand your horizon, but.. if you're really not into something then you're not

I know my profile doesn't say 50/50 btw

 

[cravincock]

i love pussy and dick the same
i try to alternate

when i fuck a dude, the next time i fuck i try to make it a chick
and back and forth

so im a true bisexual

 

[killerb]

I like chocolate. Period, I'm not "chocolate-curious", I don't hesitate to eat chocolate because I'm unashamed about it. If you call me a chocolate lover I won't argue that I'm a vanillia lover that just snacks on chocolate from time to time.

I like the way you put that...

of the guys I know who have sex with both males & females, there's only one of them who is open & honest about it...

the others hide their male/male action from women as if their lives depended on it...

 

[invisibleman]

I _have_ had a problem finding it. Not much luck with most of the bisexual resources I've encountered to date; seems to be a disproportionate amount of over-40 folks.

I don't think that the problem is finding it, I think that the problem is choice. And maybe whatever you want isn't what those people want. That doesn't mean that there aren't true men who are bisexual.

One of these days, you will be one of those over-40 folks. Reaping and sowing, that sort of thing.

 

[voyeuristic]

killer - the idea of a dude hiding his bisexuality is so ironic to me; I would look at it as a total bonus. I realize many women feel differently, however.

invisible - wow, is that 20 point font? I feel special. Ha. Yeah, when I'm over 40 I'll probably be looking for other fortysomethings - no eternal youth delusions for me. I just take issue with the fact that most men in that age range won't look at women a day over 35, yet insist "age is just a number!" to the lithe 24 year olds they're hitting on.

 

[marleyisalegend]

killer - the idea of a dude hiding his bisexuality is so ironic to me; I would look at it as a total bonus. I realize many women feel differently

Not just women, some men. Get a hidden camera, sit 10 gay men and 10 straight men at a table and ask them how they feel about bisexuals. Atleast 4 will say some ugly, mean-spirited, bigoted things.

 

[voyeuristic]

marley, I know how it goes - I've been very seriously involved with ladies , so a lot of people assumed I was a lesbian and reacted with hostility towards me when they found out I really like dudes - though I'd never made any claims about my sexuality in the first place. I actually think lesbians are way more bi-phobic than gay men, though - a lot of gay men fetishize the married bi guy, or look for "straight-acting", but I don't know of many dykes who feel similarly about bi women.

 

[marleyisalegend]

^I can see that, some women will find any reason to be catty.

 

[invisibleman]

Not just women, some men. Get a hidden camera, sit 10 gay men and 10 straight men at a table and ask them how they feel about bisexuals. Atleast 4 will say some ugly, mean-spirited, bigoted things.

Or, I would say...

"Bisexuality is cool. It is interesting that a person can find both sexes sexually interesting. I wish I were like that. I wish I were EEOC with my sexuality but I am not. I am kinda narrowed into what I find arousing. And that is some men... not all men. And those men that I am attracted to may not be attracted to me. And that is cool. I respect that. I am looking for the guy that is attracted to me as much as I am to him.
I don't find women desirable sexually (other than I find women with large labia cool.) but because I do not, that doesn't mean I hate women as genuine spirits deserving love from the one they desire and desires them in return."
​

I have had my fair share of mean spirited people but they weren't limited to bisexuals. Actually, I have found mean spirited folks in my own family. I have found mean-spiritedness in people of various sexual orientations, creeds, political affiliations, walks of life and cultures. ​

 

[marleyisalegend]

I have had my fair share of mean spirited people but they weren't limited to bisexuals. Actually, I have found mean spirited folks in my own family. I have found mean-spiritedness in people of various sexual orientations, creeds, political affiliations, walks of life and cultures.

You were 100% right, but that's a long-winded, politically correct response that wasn't really necessary, I'm well aware that people of all walks of life can be mean-spirited. The angle I took on the discussion was specifically attitudes towards bisexuality.

 

[D_skeaflea]

It's true that bisexuals usually prefer their own gender. Bisexuals who prefer the opposite gender are rare, and "true bisexuals" are even more rare. For more information, consult the Kinsey scale - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[marleyisalegend]

My definition of bisexual is someone who likes both, I don't really do any scale about which they prefer, if they like both, they're bi to me. That's supported by the definition of bisexuality provided by the APA.