male "true bisexuals": as rare as unicorns?

[D_skeaflea]

My definition of bisexual is someone who likes both, I don't really do any scale about which they prefer, if they like both, they're bi to me. That's supported by the definition of bisexuality provided by the APA.

Well, it brings up the point that sexuality is a complicated thing; That the vast majority of people are capable of being attracted to both genders, that everyone has preferences etc. People who are exclusively straight, or exclusively gay DO exist, but are rare.

I've gotten into debates with "straight" men over the recent Prop 8 issue, and I got a guy to admit to me that he believes that everyone has gay thoughts, but that it being illegal is what keeps him from acting on them; That humans are supposed to censor their desires to keep themselves decent. When I asked him if this was really true, he just got really hurt about it and said "Alright, now I know you're going to try and insist that i'm gay. . ."

 

[marleyisalegend]

People who are exclusively straight, or exclusively gay DO exist, but are rare.

You said the same thing about bisexuals, so what is everybody else?

That humans are supposed to censor their desires to keep themselves decent. When I asked him if this was really true, he just got really hurt about it and said "Alright, now I know you're going to try and insist that i'm gay. . ."

That's a perfect example of why everybody and they mama claims to be straight, it's seen as normal, anything else is "abnormal and unnatural." People will come out the closet when America stops pretending like it's a virgin even though we have a BILLION dollar porn industry.

 

[killerb]

killer - the idea of a dude hiding his bisexuality is so ironic to me; I would look at it as a total bonus. I realize many women feel differently, however.

guys have all sorts of reasons for hiding their true feelings...
sometimes they don't want their families to know...sometimes it may have to do with their religion, sometimes they may fear being dumped by the women in their lives if they're found out...and sometimes, they are in fact trying to hide from themselves...

I don't think there are a lot of women who not only would accept their man being bi, but actually prefer it...

 

[D_skeaflea]

You said the same thing about bisexuals, so what is everybody else?

I'm not exactly sure what you mean, but what I mean is that you have two extremes: One side is perfectly straight and honestly has no attraction to their own gender, and the other is the opposite. The numbers - or people - in between are varying degrees of attraction/curiosity towards their own gender. A kinsey 3 - capable of both, with no preference - is very rare, though it does exist.

The 0-6 scale is an extreme over-simplification, though. I think we'd probably need a 20-point scale to more accurately determine everyone's sexuality.

That's a perfect example of why everybody and they mama claims to be straight, it's seen as normal, anything else is "abnormal and unnatural."

Exactly. People like the guy I mentioned aren't a 0 on the scale. . .they're probably a 1, or a 2 and fear judgment, so they're in extreme denial about it. Have you ever noticed that the guys who are 0s, who are "openly straight" have no real problem with gay sex, except that they just don't like it and want you to keep it away from them? lol

YouTube - Middle Sexes - Experiment on homophobia

I encourage everyone to watch that video.

People will come out the closet when America stops pretending like it's a virgin even though we have a BILLION dollar porn industry.

2.2 billion, actually. That's a lot of semen.

I don't think there are a lot of women who not only would accept their man being bi, but actually prefer it...

SOME girls are turned on by gay porn, or even by watching their guy mess around with another guy. . .but the vast majority of women are very uncomfortable with a bi guy; They think "Well, he's been rammed in the butt, so he's gay." and instantly think of him as a gay friend, but have trouble taking it to a sexual level.

Before everyone gets pissed at me: Those words are from a couple of girls i've asked about this, NOT MY OWN. It's not my fault people feel that way, so I try to show to people that i'm separate from the pre-conceived notion; I've noticed that even a few straight guys have said that they respect me for it, and said that they were "wrong about gay guys".

 

[Hellboy0]

My definition of bisexual is someone who likes both, I don't really do any scale about which they prefer, if they like both, they're bi to me. That's supported by the definition of bisexuality provided by the APA.

I'm surprised for someone as well-read and educated as I am sure you are about this subject, that you don't subscribe more to Kinsey's observations on sexuality... In other words, that sexuality is a spectrum, that bisexuality is a sliding scale, different for each person and usually at different times in their life.

Once we stop putting all of us into Gay/Straight/Bi boxes, we might actually move forward with dropping all the bullshit ideas some of the world has about sex that is not heterosexual, married or monogamous.

 

[salinger]

I don't necessarily hide that I'm bi, anyone that knows me knows I am. I just don't lead with it. For one, it's not everyone's bidness. For two, if I'm concerned how I'm going to be judged for it, I tend to wait. I've fucked both, I've dated both. Both men and women turn me on and annoy the shit out of me. I would imagine I will settle down at some point, I like being in a relationship. I just don't know who it would be with. I've been happy with both. I've had sex with more men, I think, but that's probably because men are easier to fuck.

Women and gay men are the most judgemental about me being bi, I will say, which I think is funny because straight men I would think would be the worst. They aren't. They are jealous that I can get laid "twice as much" and if they're horny they wonder if I would blow them, okay that doesn't happen quite as much. But some women act like it's gross or are uncomfortable with it. Gay men just want everyone to be gay because they need more numbers for the newsletter. I'm a man without a country.

Really got off topic though. There were a brief time just out of college though where I tried a MMF relationship. It didn't work, nor do I think it ever could, but idealistically it was fun for a bit.

 

[Hellboy0]

I think a lot of Gay men (not all, thank you very much) had such a hard time being accepted and accepting their sexuality, that they end up thinking in that Straight vs Gay way.

Those of us who have been around a bit or are happy to be ourselves don't care what you define yourself as.

 

[salinger]

Yeah, I didn't mean to say or imply all. I just find it more frustrating that generally speaking a group so adament on gaining acceptance and tolerance doesn't always practice what they preach.

 

[D_skeaflea]

I'm surprised for someone as well-read and educated as I am sure you are about this subject, that you don't subscribe more to Kinsey's observations on sexuality...

Well, I didn't want to ramble any more than I already do. lol I provided a link to encourage people to read into it. lol

I don't necessarily hide that I'm bi, anyone that knows me knows I am. I just don't lead with it. For one, it's not everyone's bidness.

Exactly, salinger. Your sex life is supposed to be your business. . .I think that people coming out and telling EVERYONE what kind of sex they're having creates a lot of. . .weirdness and hostility.

I've fucked both, I've dated both. Both men and women turn me on and annoy the shit out of me.

lmfao You're getting a friend request for this. Can I put this in my signature? PM me and let me know.

I've been happy with both. I've had sex with more men, I think, but that's probably because men are easier to fuck.

Yeah, that's true. With a guy, you can start talking about sex right away, and you won't get told off and have a drink thrown in your face. Women all have this "reputation" that they're always worried about ruining, and girls backstab each other by ruining said reputation.

Is it really any wonder men who have the choice usually prefer men?

straight men I would think would be the worst. They aren't. They are jealous that I can get laid "twice as much" and if they're horny they wonder if I would blow them, okay that doesn't happen quite as much.

lol I've talked about this in my "Straight Men Hitting On You" thread. The guys who are fighting their own urges are going to hate on you, but the guys who are secure are going to be fine with just talking as friends (as long as you keep the flirting and sex away from them). The guys who are curious will start start flirting with you and asking you questions. Not very many of them choose to actually mess around with another guy, though; talking and learning from a guy who's secure and experienced is usually enough to satisfy their curiosity.

Gay men just want everyone to be gay because they need more numbers for the newsletter. I'm a man without a country.

Case in point: The gay indie film Eating Out, which is basically about proving that bisexual men are just gay, and that bisexuality in males doesn't exist. Sure enough, he becomes gay at the end of the movie.

Yeah, I didn't mean to say or imply all. I just find it more frustrating that generally speaking a group so adament on gaining acceptance and tolerance doesn't always practice what they preach.

Exactly. It's supposed to be GLBT; we're supposed to be part of their queer alliance, but they choose to laugh at us and reject us similar to the way straight people treat gays.

Get as mad at me as you want, but that's stupid and wrong.

 

[marleyisalegend]

I'm surprised for someone as well-read and educated as I am sure you are about this subject, that you don't subscribe more to Kinsey's observations on sexuality...

No, I agree 100% that there are varying degrees, some people like both sexes equally, some prefer one over the other, and everything in between. Some may dig men for 4 years, try women for a year, do both for a year, and continually go back and forth. However, I believe it can be simplified with the current titiles: homo, hetero, and bi. Those prefixes accurately describe the orientations, same-sex, opposite-sex, both sexes.

 

[marleyisalegend]

Yeah, I didn't mean to say or imply all. I just find it more frustrating that generally speaking a group so adament on gaining acceptance and tolerance doesn't always practice what they preach.

Tell me about it, you shoulda seen the fucking queens in this country after prop 8 passed, the full moon rose and some of them turned into viscious werewolves.

 

[Hellboy0]

Yeah, I didn't mean to say or imply all. I just find it more frustrating that generally speaking a group so adament on gaining acceptance and tolerance doesn't always practice what they preach.

I think you'd agree that there are always vocal folks in Minority groups that exhibit some of the most intolerant behaviour around. Some of my Aboriginal acquaintances in WA can be racist dickheads if given half a chance. The GLBT community is no different. But I try not to generalise too much. It makes for an easy conversation but it's not reality nor is it logical.

 

[D_skeaflea]

No, I agree 100% that there are varying degrees, some people like both sexes equally, some prefer one over the other, and everything in between. Some may dig men for 4 years, try women for a year, do both for a year, and continually go back and forth. However, I believe it can be simplified with the current titiles: homo, hetero, and bi. Those prefixes accurately describe the orientations, same-sex, opposite-sex, both sexes.

Kinsey reported that most bisexual men identified as a gay man, or had sex exclusively with men for a period in their life.

 

[Hellboy0]

Kinsey reported that most bisexual men identified as a gay man, or had sex exclusively with men for a period in their life.

Well, 'gay' meant something a bit different at the time of the study. I'm willing to believe we've got a long way to go before folks don't feel the need to 'identify' themselves, but rather just 'be'. Society has a lot to answer for.

 

[D_skeaflea]

Well, 'gay' meant something a bit different at the time of the study.

LOL, the study wasn't conducted in the 1800s. Did you pay attention to what i'd said?

Bisexual men elusively had sex with other men for a period in their life. It didn't say that they were happy, and carefree for a point in their life.

I'm willing to believe we've got a long way to go before folks don't feel the need to 'identify' themselves, but rather just 'be'. Society has a lot to answer for.

Yeah, I don't think that'll ever happen.

 

[Primal_Savage]

Why in the hell do we need labels? To the majority of my friends, I prefectly straight and I won't deny it. Hell, I even laugh at gay jokes and around my straight friends participate in making fun of effeminate guys and fags. To most of my fuck buds, a few of whom are married to women, I'm a closeted bi and not strictly gay, as they know I love to eat pussy and fuck women. I can't even begin to imagine only having sex with other men. The irony of the whole situation is that a lot of my straight friends probably think I'm gay, while most of my gay friends that I've never had sex with probably think I'm straight. Oh, yes, and I won't deny it, as a true bi- and it's in our nature, I send off a lot of confusing signals.

 

[D_Fowlmouth Chickenchoker]

I'm thinking it will be 2068 before we begin to understand and accept human sexuality for what it is and stop making it some dividing line and fear factor for who we hang with and how we define ourselves by... er... I mean, bi.

 

[invisibleman]

Tell me about it, you shoulda seen the fucking queens in this country after prop 8 passed, the full moon rose and some of them turned into viscious werewolves.

Marl--

I laughed so hard when I read this.

Werewolves?

Queens?

The mental image I got was those gigantic poodles with pearl collars with Phyllis Diller teeth. That's how far I envisioned viscious gay lycanthropy.

 

[OCMuscleJock]

I consider myself to be bisexual...HOWEVER, being that I'm in a long term relationship with a guy...doesn't change my views on females in general. I'm particular when it comes to sex...and I dont just do it for "busting a nut" and then going on about my biz. I can do that by myself. the bf and I have even mentioned that IF we found a female that we were both into...we'd totally be up for the adventure. Like Northland said...if it gets to that point and we're both into it..then go for it..guy or girl. I have standards when it comes to both sexes and expect certain things out of both ...not always sexually either. I put the 80/20 in the % because of my relationship...but when it comes down to it. Either is fine with me if there is the connection there.

 

[D_Harry_Crax]

Some recent study I read about somewhere said that women are naturally bisexual but can choose to be straight or lesbian, and that men are naturally straight or gay, but can choose to be bisexual. Well, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense of everything about sexual orientation and sexual preference that I've seen in my life.