male "true bisexuals": as rare as unicorns?

Hellboy0

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LOL, the study wasn't conducted in the 1800s. Did you pay attention to what i'd said?

I know that that study was purely dealing with the act of sex by men. It's society that has the problem with that...giving it a very different context today.

Kinsey's first book (on male sexual behaviour) came out in 1948...can you honestly say that what is acceptable as 'gay' today is remotely the same as then???

I agree with Primal Savage in the 'mixed signals'. My 50/50 friends seem difficult to pin down but only if I feel the need to. Once I relax and just enjoy them for who they are, I find my bisexual buds and ladies a hell of a lot more 'sexy' than my boring 100% Gay self!!!! LOL
 

Milbury

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The idea behind "true" bisexuality is too complex to define. For example, I'm a swinger. I have a pretty good sized cock. I'm black. Therefore, according to way too many couples who are involved in the lifestyle, I'm a "Bull". And as a bull, I'm usually expected to make all of the advances and be an overall dominant. But, I'm not. I'm expected to express my will on the husband as well as the wife (orally, if you catch my drift). But, my first experiences were with sexually fluid couples, so I'm not averse to giving as well as I receive. Even now, I had to change my stats on the board to reflect that reality. I'm not higher on the Gay rating because I don't seek out that type of arrangement, but I'm more than willing to give (10%) and I've always had a fascination for foreskins (10%). So, despite my literal lack of interest in men on a romantic scale, I can and have been involved in longterm (more than a year) M~MF relationships. Yet, by dint of dating women, I'd only be considered gay in the U.S., and I was barely considered bi in Europe.
 

Dinky7X7

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I strongly disagree that... "Male "true bisexuals": as rare as unicorns?". I've been an active bisexual for almost 50 years, and there are plenty of us out there. I meet up with 4 or 5 guys a week, some are quick "blow and go" , and some are more involved and deeply penetrating if you get the point.

I am a married lifelong bisexual and so are 90% of my friends, so I don't think you are looking in the right places. I put an ad in Craigslist and I get guys who are real and horny, some are flakes, but that's life. Ya got to kiss a few frogs, you know. I just wish they knew what 7" is. LOL

I'm not romantically drawn to men at all, I don't kiss, but I enjoy giving and getting a good cock sucking and being fucked in the butt with a real penis is the high point of my day and watching a guy cum on me is hot. A woman just can't do either or at all.
 

biguy2738

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I would love to meet a guy who's genuinely attracted to and interested in sleeping with both me and other dudes, but I'm beginning to wonder if this only happens in my dreams.

Nah, like so many others have said, it does happen in real life: there are a lot of us who are able to go all of the way with other men. I think that part of the reason why you're coming up empty handed (pun not intended :biggrin1:) is because of the complexity of bisexuality. I'm not only talking about the Kinsey thread or the level of attraction that a bisexual has for women vs men, but also the fact that it comes in over 13 different forms. To a large degree, this information is quickly discarded with the "labels" argument which I think contributes to the lack of self understanding that takes place...why wouldn't one want to figure out what's really taking place inside of oneself? Rhetorical question.

A lot of bisexual men have the tendency to go with the flow ie to be sexual with men without taking the time to figure out where it is all coming from and what it is that they crave from such encounters. The interesting thing is that of late, a lot of bi-men that I am in conversation men are realising that much as they have been quick to use the labels argument and say that they only want sexual release, they're in actual fact looking for the physical intimacy and at times the emotional bond that arises from such experiences.

I suspect that a lot of your disappointment is the result of the guys not fully understanding themselves, bisexuality and how it all stands to tie up with each other....and you know what we're like, we'll get lost and refuse to stop and ask for directions. LOL

I have an equal attraction to men and women and I am an emotional as well as an integrated bisexual. Which means that I am able to have loving relationships with men with as much ease as women, in fact I need to have a primary relationship with a member of both genders.

I have been with my wife for six years and in January we celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary, so I don't think that I need to elaborate on that side, though I suspect that she's a very happy customer. LOL I have also been in deep, loving relationships with men. I have done it all with them (on the vanilla side of things) including topping as well as bottoming. On my side though, I am unable to have MMF's because of my sexual and emotional make up. I want to be with one person at a time and invest all of my attention in them at that moment in time. The thought of being between two partners at the same time is off-putting for me.

I can never only be with either a man or a woman because my experience of them on all levels are entirely different. I love the fact that with a woman I am able to approach our relationship with the spirit of being the protector and offer her a safe place. I equally love being able to be in a relationship with a man where I am able to make myself completely vulnerable with him and allow him to be my protector. The variation in contour and texture of the male and female bodies is equally mind blowing for me. I love cuddling up to my wife whilst basking in the after glow of our love making and tell her that I love her over and over again. I love sitting next to my bf - he has his knee bent on the bed. I draw it to my and place my chin upon it and proceed to caress his leg and belly whilst we have deep heart to heart sharing, basking in the afterglow of our love making. I wouldn't be as happy or fulfilled without experiencing all of these things in my life.

in the immortal words of carrie bradshaw " bi is only a stop on the way to gayville''.....

Perhaps it would be more respectful to offer one's thoughts and opinions or at least substantiate what one is saying when deciding to offer statements like that in one's post.

Just a thought.... :rolleyes:
 
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another, rite here. i am attracted to men and women. i am think i am a-dick-ted to sex. lol
 

lokican

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Nah, like so many others have said, it does happen in real life: there are a lot of us who are able to go all of the way with other men. I think that part of the reason why you're coming up empty handed (pun not intended :biggrin1:) is because of the complexity of bisexuality. I'm not only talking about the Kinsey thread or the level of attraction that a bisexual has for women vs men, but also the fact that it comes in over 13 different forms. To a large degree, this information is quickly discarded with the "labels" argument which I think contributes to the lack of self understanding that takes place...why wouldn't one want to figure out what's really taking place inside of oneself? Rhetorical question.

A lot of bisexual men have the tendency to go with the flow ie to be sexual with men without taking the time to figure out where it is all coming from and what it is that they crave from such encounters. The interesting thing is that of late, a lot of bi-men that I am in conversation men are realising that much as they have been quick to use the labels argument and say that they only want sexual release, they're in actual fact looking for the physical intimacy and at times the emotional bond that arises from such experiences.

I suspect that a lot of your disappointment is the result of the guys not fully understanding themselves, bisexuality and how it all stands to tie up with each other....and you know what we're like, we'll get lost and refuse to stop and ask for directions. LOL

I have an equal attraction to men and women and I am an emotional as well as an integrated bisexual. Which means that I am able to have loving relationships with men with as much ease as women, in fact I need to have a primary relationship with a member of both genders.

I have been with my wife for six years and in January we celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary, so I don't think that I need to elaborate on that side, though I suspect that she's a very happy customer. LOL I have also been in deep, loving relationships with men. I have done it all with them (on the vanilla side of things) including topping as well as bottoming. On my side though, I am unable to have MMF's because of my sexual and emotional make up. I want to be with one person at a time and invest all of my attention in them at that moment in time. The thought of being between two partners at the same time is off-putting for me.

I can never only be with either a man or a woman because my experience of them on all levels are entirely different. I love the fact that with a woman I am able to approach our relationship with the spirit of being the protector and offer her a safe place. I equally love being able to be in a relationship with a man where I am able to make myself completely vulnerable with him and allow him to be my protector. The variation in contour and texture of the male and female bodies is equally mind blowing for me. I love cuddling up to my wife whilst basking in the after glow of our love making and tell her that I love her over and over again. I love sitting next to my bf - he has his knee bent on the bed. I draw it to my and place my chin upon it and proceed to caress his leg and belly whilst we have deep heart to heart sharing, basking in the afterglow of our love making. I wouldn't be as happy or fulfilled without experiencing all of these things in my life.



Perhaps it would be more respectful to offer one's thoughts and opinions or at least substantiate what one is saying when deciding to offer statements like that in one's post.

Just a thought.... :rolleyes:

Wow very well put. I to am starting to learn about the complicated world of bisexuallity, and you articulated it so well. Their is something emotionally and physically different with being with a man and women, and I know what you mean about the roles.
 

D_Jerry_Atric

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I've been attracted to boys who like boys for as long as I can remember, but I've yet to find that elusive guy who actively sleeps with both sexes. They either seem to be mostly-straight boys who are liberated enough to be able to admit when another guy's good-looking (and who might given in to the occasional drunken public makeout, eager to tap in on the chic value of queerness) or mostly-gay boys who like being platonically affectionate with their gal pals and will give them an occasional tongue kiss just for kicks. I've been involved with both genders myself and I'm definitely not biphobic, but most of the guys I've met who claimed they were "50/50" seemed to default to the heterosexual privilege of a relationship with women, or made claims that they were attracted to men sexually but not emotionally. I would love to meet a guy who's genuinely attracted to and interested in sleeping with both me and other dudes, but I'm beginning to wonder if this only happens in my dreams. MMF is a big turn-on for me but I don't really have much desire to pursue it with guys who aren't going to get into it with each other, too, and who are only doing it for the pussy.

(I guess I should add that I live in the SF Bay Area, so if it ain't happenin' for me here, it's probably not happenin' anywhere.)

In a perfect world I'd like and have a relationship with a man and a woman at the same time but 3 way relationships or open relationships like this rarely work or even last at all and it's like this even in all male 3 way relationships.

It's even this way for BDSM relationships like being multiple people's consensual boy/submissive/slave/pup/etc.

No male "true" bisexuals are not rare as unicorns.

Also what is a "true" bisexual?

There are almost 1,001+ ways to be bisexual and you do not have to be sexually active or even sexually attracted to both genders all the time either.
 

auto90403

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well if you don't care if it lasts, it's no big deal then. mmf hookups shouldn't
be that difficult to find. no need to whine about it. who cares then if they are a
"true bisexual"? they've got the right equipment. you're expecting more than you deserve.

this is my sense, too.

i don't get what voyeuristic is complaining about.

finding the right MFM and/or MM arrangement isn't that hard, certainly not in SF. if the other guy is willing to play with you (and her?) in all the ways you want, who cares how he orients himself sexually/emotionally regarding the rest of his life and the people in it.
 

uberhund

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Actually it may not be as complex as all that. No gay guy can be in any doubt that homophobia still exists as a very real thing in the world, and every gay guy I know (including myself) has at some point in their youth wished they could be straight. If, when I was 14, I had realised I was bisexual, I might never have decided to express the man-loving side of my sexuality: after all, if I can be happy having sex with a woman, why ever bother to do the other thing that might lead to me being despised and picked on?

I suspect that male bisexuals are as common as female ones, but a homophobic society (and not everyone lives in gay-friendly areas of big cities) will tend to keep them straight-acting, no matter what complex and wonderful form their bisexuality takes.

And yes, it doesn't help that self-hating gays (like I used to be!) often go through a phase of saying they're bisexual before they come to terms with the truth! That sort of thing does lead people to believe that there are no 'real' bisexuals, but in environments with an easier and more fluid view of human relationships (for example, people 'experimenting at college and university, or living in alternative communities) I've seen a marked increase in what appears to be genuine bisexuality in guys.
 

B_Hung Jon

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I read somewhere that there are several types of bisexuals. Some are just into sex. Others are interested primarily in relationships, while even others are attracted to women or men only as young adults but not later in life. I would describe myself as bisexual only in the fact that I've fallen in love with people of both genders. I don't especially find all women or all men particularly attractive but just certain people. Also as folks have said here already, it's difficult to be completely open about being bi because of societal taboos.
 

BlackIsKingSize

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No, I agree 100% that there are varying degrees, some people like both sexes equally, some prefer one over the other, and everything in between. Some may dig men for 4 years, try women for a year, do both for a year, and continually go back and forth. However, I believe it can be simplified with the current titiles: homo, hetero, and bi. Those prefixes accurately describe the orientations, same-sex, opposite-sex, both sexes.
I think the terms homoflexible and heteroflexible should come into more use. They more fully put across having a preference but being into both. And using all those along with gay, straight, and bi links up pretty well with the Kinsey scale.
 

jeff black

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I always thought bisexuality was about living in "the now" and not taking the time to label yourself one way or the other. I think the interesting part of my sexuality is that I don't have to stand up and decide if I want to be straight or I want to be gay. I can enjoy people for who they are and what I find attractive in them.
 
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joeweekend

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I've only ever known one guy I thought was truly bi-sexual. High school friend. I recall, a couple years out of HS, and a couple thousand miles away from home I looked him up. He was then about 20, and was with a 30 something nurse at the time. When I got together with him, it was implicitly so we could fuck (we had that kind of relationship . . . ). When I went to his place, I met the 30 something nurse just on her way to work. Pretty girl, and he looked at her with total lust/love in his eyes. I was concerned he wouldn't want to get it on with me he seemed so enamored of her. But no problem at all. He was just as into doing me. He's the only true bi-guy I think I know.

Every other guy I've been involved with who had a woman in his life has seemed to me to be just using the woman for cover.

So: unicorns? Yup, in my experience, that's the case.
 
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