Mama Don't Let Your Boys Grow Up To Be Virgins

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inquiringmind: Hi it's me again.

Heh, Tender... I second what you just said ( I am laughing... you know why!) I have a question, guys. Taking Geo's lead, I am going to out some behavior or questions presented to me on the down low. Why is it that because of my particular stand on virginity, I have gotten questions about why I would be on this site, or am I really the woman I say I am? We are all complex multifaceted human beings. I am here because I want to be here. I am female, free, single and living in America. I go to church on Sunday and try to practice what they preach,I am not a "Hoochie or a Ho'" but I am a bonafide red blooded sexy Scorpio female and my inquring mind wants to know! So, like or not, that is the real deal. Any objections? I didn't think so ...

Inquiring mind

(A woman taking no prisoners after watching Will Smith's Wild Wild West video again,Hahaha)

 

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H8Monga: Thanks John, I understood that skit... great example.

Inquiringmind, I don't understand the connection between being a virgin and coming to LPSG. We have all types of people here. I guess some think that as a woman, to appreciate a large penis you have to be or have been with one. And too virgin females who admit it get attention, some with motives behind the attention (as witnessed in AOL chat). I don't know if or think that's the case here. This is no exclusive place.

 

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inquiringmind: Thanks Hapi,
That was what I thought.. but I felt I needed to say that. Thanx for the forum...

Inquiring mind

 

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longtimelurker: Surely another side of the 'sex and true love' coin is that if you haven't any other experience then you may end up doubting whether you are experiencing 'true love' or not.

I'd have thought having the experience beforehand would help relieve the insecurity and possible temptation to stray that may follow.

But then again, I suppose that if someone is willing to wait for marraige then they can probably resist other temptations better than most.

 

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Tender: [quote author=inquiringmind link=board=meetgreet;num=1066973547;start=40#40 date=11/01/03 at 08:57:17]Taking Geo's lead,

[/quote]

oh NO!!
dont let Geo lead you ANYWHERE !

Tender

 

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AnonyMs: lolololol @ Tender!

Although I do have to say while Geo is extremely active given his posts, it is always consensual.

I think inquiringmind can hold her own.

 

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ORCABOMBER: Woah, cool thread guys.
Just to add my thought.

The general trend is to think of love as if it's a finite resourse, as if we only start off with a certain amount and then we keep that sacred for the one we love and at the same time, we have our virginities, which we could also put in a box as well, just following 9Cyclops9's tale.

Virginity, yeah, I can understand keeping it, because we all have our reasons and we shouldn't feel pressured into things that we do not want to do. Mine is that I haven't found the right person, some prefer to wait, I prefer to "fish with no worm".

But I don't believe that if I was in a relationship, because I had sex or not with them, that'd make me a worse of better person, mainly because I trust myself to know when it's right and so I don't believe that I'd give someone that truly cared for me a bad time.

So while I see the virginity as a one-off box of chocolates, I don't see love the same way.

I have the priviledge of knowing some of the greatest people I could possible have met. They're not the greatest because they are geniuses, or because they are the best in their fields, or because they are perfect, but because I care about them.

Just because I may (for arguments sake) come to know several women over my life, I don't think that I can simply just think of it as "I'm out of love", more like, maybe I have something more to offer, something to give and to share.

New experiences and all that.

-----------------------
Hands up if that made any sense?

 

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da_blissmachine: disturbing disturbing disturbing... although there are older women I would sleep with

mmmmmmmmmm Cyrus's mom... mmm....

 

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inquiringmind: Heh Orca,
You get an amen from me!

Inquiringmind

 

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ORCABOMBER: Thanks.

 

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headbang8: [quote author=9cyclops9 link=board=meetgreet;num=1066973547;start=20#35 date=11/01/03 at 00:58:38]
There was a girl carrying around a big red paper heart. She meets a guy, and he eventually asks her if she's "ready." She says yes and rips a piece of her heart off and gives it to him. Then they break up. She meets another guy, and gives him a piece of her heart too. This happens with several guys.

Next scene. A guy comes in from the side, carrying the young lady. She is in her wedding dress. He puts her down and says something along the lines of "Honey, I've waited my whole life for this moment, so I could give you my whole heart." He hands her a big red paper heart. She pulls out her tiny piece of red paper that she has left and gives it to him.
[/quote]

Let me tell you another story.

A mother and father sit down with their five-year-old son. "We have some wonderful news," says mom, "In a few month's time, you're going to have a baby brother or baby sister. It's very exciting, isn't it?"

The boy thinks about it for a while, and starts to cry. "You and Daddy love me with all the love in your heart. But if there's a new baby in the house, your heart will only have half as much love to give to me!"

The father took his son on his knee, and hugged him. "I understand how you feel," the father began, "but as you grow up, you'll discover that love doesn't work that way"

"The new baby, even so small inside your mother's tummy, has a heart, too. We'll all love your new brother or sister, and he or she will love us back. And then something magical happens."

"Love grows." his mother chimed in, "Somehow, when we all give love away to each other, we all end up having more than we started with!"

"But what if you love someone, and they don't love you back?" asked the boy.

"I can tell you from experience; it hurts." replied the father. "That's why it's important to fill your life with lots of people to love. Some you'll love a little, some you'll love a lot; some you'll love a short time, some you'll love forever. And you'll love them all in different ways."

"But giving love without hesitation is the best way to ensure your life is filled with love." His mother picked him up and held him close. "...and a life filled with love is the finest thing I can hope for you, the new baby, and...well, everyone!"

 

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longtimelurker: Hey - who took away the site and replaced it with Aesop's Fables?

Another good story from two equally valid points of view. I think I prefer to live my life by headbang's philosophy, personally. When you are in love, you are truly in love - why wait for a piece of paper? You may break up, but then you may also get divorced - I mean, depending on what country you're in about 30-50% of marraiges do nowadays.

I mean, when you are in a committed relationship it's not as though you are putting it around everywhere - you are sharing your heart and soul with one special person. I can see why people could object to one night stands, but now it is common to wait until your mid-late 20's to get married (I don't think I want to until I'm at least 28!) is it still reasonable to expect people to remain 'pure' until then? I mean, when pre-marital sex was a great taboo, people tended to get married a hell of a lot earlier (I just found out, for example, that in Victorian England the age of consent was 12!).

 

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Tender: But giving love without hesitation is the best way to ensure your life is filled with love."

giving love without hesitation is also the best way to end up very hurt and full of regrets.

i think the old saying is-- casting your pearls before swine...

Tender

 

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inquiringmind: Amen Sister Tender,
Preach it !

Inquiring mind

 

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Tender: [quote author=inquiringmind link=board=meetgreet;num=1066973547;start=40#53 date=11/05/03 at 10:31:43]Amen Sister Tender,
Preach it !

Inquiring mind[/quote]

uh, i think ill pass on preachin, lol
wouldnt be too good at that...

Tender

 

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9cyclops9: Tender,

I was trying to think of how to say what I wanted! Good post!

John

 

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wvalady1968: You guys are awesome.

Sarah, I agree with what you said, and you said it very well. I married the first guy I had sex with, more or less because I thought I should. Brought up in the church, and all that.

One divorce was enough to scare me silly. I don't ever want to go through that again. This time, I'm going to be sure that we are completely compatible before I make that legal committment.

I didn't know he was a passive aggressive control freak, who got off on power over the weaker. So any time I had trouble or was sick, I was weaker.

Marriage is too important not to investigate everything you can. But I can't fault anyone who chooses to wait until marriage to have sex. I'd just tell them to spend as much time as possible talking and getting to know each other.

 

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rainfletcher: I'm wondering if there isn't some consistency in all of this, though?

How much is a persons sexual preferences, just a natural extension of the rest of their personality? A person who is selfish and self-centered in the rest of their life, will also be that way in bed, right?

So, if you take the time to REALLY, REALLY get to know someone, you should have SOME indication as to how they are in their sexual preferences right? I'm not saying that everyhing can be known or anticipated, but I'm betting that you can get alot of the way there.

I guess I'm saying that I'm not sure you have to actually HAVE SEX with someone to get some idea for how they are with sex.

Also, I think marriage should be based on love. And love is always based on selfLESSness. Making love is the greatest act of intimacy I can think of, and should be a logical extension of the love the couple feels for each other. I've said this before in other posts, but all I ever care about is pleasing my girlfriend. I take time and TRY to fiure out what she likes and doesn't like. If she prefers something, then that's what I try to focus on. I can't imagine that there would be sexual disconnects if both parties approach sex like this.

I should also note that people can be very deceptive. So, my comments cannot be taken as any sort of universal axiom.

 

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wvalady1968: Sure, people can fool you, but I think you've made a VERY valid point, Rain.

 

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ORCABOMBER: [quote author=Rain link=board=meetgreet;num=1066973547;start=40#57 date=11/05/03 at 14:46:20]How much is a persons sexual preferences, just a natural extension of the rest of their personality? A person who is selfish and self-centered in the rest of their life, will also be that way in bed, right?
[/quote]
Great comment Rain, but sometimes, I feel it's "what lies beneath" as well, exposing our deepest feelings, not our obvious ones.

That makes me rather scared now.