Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

Discussion in 'Politics' started by Snozzle, Dec 1, 2010.

  1. Snozzle

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    I haven't established the voracity of this. Could it be a spoof?

    Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

    November 21, 2010 by Dead Serious News

    A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.
    According to Cummings’ partner, Sergio Armani, Cummings has “multiple piercings on his manhood” which were detected during a full body scan. As a result, Cummings was pulled aside for a pat-down. Armani stated that the unidentified TSA agent spent “an inordinate amount of time groping” Cummings, who had apparently become sexually aroused. Cummings, who has a history of sexual dysfunction, ejaculated while the TSA agent’s hand was feeling the piercings. The TSA agent, according to several witnesses, promptly called for back up. Cummings was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.
    A TSA spokesperson declined to comment on this specifc case, but said that anyone ejaculating during a pat-down would be subject to arrest.
     
    #1 Snozzle, Dec 1, 2010
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2010
  2. Snozzle

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    I was right, it is. But it's a sign of the times that it's so plausible, isn't it?
     
  3. B_VinylBoy

    B_VinylBoy New Member

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    The man's last name is Cummings. That's some straight up, "Beavis & Buthead" sh**... ROTFLMAO!
     
  4. D_Hammond Happydipper

    D_Hammond Happydipper Account Disabled

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    Wait a second, shouldn't the TSA agent be arrested for sexually assaulting him?


    it should be the other way around right?
     
  5. houtx48

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    one born every minute.
     
  6. maxcok

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    Then again, it may only be a matter of time.

    God, I love America.
     
  7. luka82

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    LOL
    He touched his junk, what did he expect? LOL
    When Percy gets married he is going to be Percy Cummings-Armani:)
     
  8. B_VinylBoy

    B_VinylBoy New Member

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    Shall we tell 'em? Or do we let this ride out for longer. :biggrin1:
     
  9. eurotop40

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    Veracity or voracity?
     
  10. eurotop40

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  11. eurotop40

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  12. JustAsking

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    Its a hoax, naturally. Unfortunately, this is how urban rumors get spread to the detriment of innocent people. Check your sources before you publish, not after.
     
  13. 1kmb1

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    its not a hoax, its satire. they dont claim that its real.

    people just dont appreciate satire anymore lol
     
  14. B_OtterJoq

    B_OtterJoq New Member

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    vo·rac[​IMG]i·ty (-r[​IMG]s[​IMG][​IMG]-t[​IMG]), vo·ra[​IMG]cious·ness (-r[​IMG][​IMG]sh[​IMG]s-n[​IMG]s) n.
    Synonyms: voracious, gluttonous, rapacious, ravenous
    These adjectives mean having or marked by boundless greed: a voracious reader of history; a gluttonous consumer of fine foods; a rapacious acquirer of competing businesses; a politician ravenous for power.


    ve·rac·i·ty (v[​IMG]-r[​IMG]s[​IMG][​IMG]-t[​IMG]) n. pl. ve·rac·i·ties 1. Adherence to the truth; truthfulness. See Synonyms at truth.
    2. Conformity to fact or truth; accuracy or precision: a report of doubtful veracity.
    3. Something that is true.
     
  15. Snozzle

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    Spelling "veracity" as "voracity" is an internet-skeptical joke, like "froup" and "pwn"

    And doesn't "spoof" mean in the US what it means here? (As in "He spoofed all over me.") Did I waste my sweetness on the desert air?
     
    #15 Snozzle, Dec 1, 2010
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2010
  16. JustAsking

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    Haha, yes, I know the difference. It is very good satire, especially the guys last name. What I meant was that republishing it as something that might be true, constitutes a hoax.

    If you google anything about it you will find it all over the Internet being reported as a real event.
     
  17. 1kmb1

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    i think a hoax has to have deceptive intent. i genuinely believe its just ignorance lol

    i like the one about the tsa agent masturbating to a team of high school netball players. by "Hugh Muzzbe" lol thats just good stuff :)

    ""What do you want to do, get blown up by a goddamn Arab at 30,000 feet or we get to see your private parts? It's up to you, the ball's in your park," head of the TSA's scanning department, Rodney Schroeder, told CNN."

    people think thats real lol
     
  18. AlextheRedhead

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    TRUE STORY I had a friend who wore a metal cock ring thru security and got pulled aside for a hand held wand metal scan.
    He had forgotten that he had it on and when he realized it was too late. He told the TSA that he was wearing an accoutrement. With an embrasseed look on the TSA face he was waved on.
    This was several years ago but I always thought it was funny. I suppose now he would be made to show it or take it off.
    So boys and girls leave the jewelery in the suitcase!
     
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