Man Kills Girlfriend Over Sandwiches

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Dr. Dilznick, Apr 15, 2006.

  1. Dr. Dilznick

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    Associated Press

    Pa. Man Kills Girlfriend Over Sandwiches


    UNIONTOWN, Pa. - A man threw a microwave at his girlfriend, then fatally beat her after she refused to heat up sandwiches, police said.

    Walter S. Fordyce, 58, of Uniontown, remained jailed without bond Thursday on a charge of criminal homicide. It wasn't clear if he had an attorney.

    Fordyce told police he began arguing with his live-in girlfriend, Mary McCann, 58, early Thursday.

    After throwing her to the floor, Fordyce threw a microwave oven onto McCann's chest after she refused to heat up sandwiches for him, he told police. Fordyce also said he stomped on McCann's chest repeatedly then banged her head on the floor until she lost consciousness _ but that he also said he didn't mean to kill her, police said.

    "It was an accident. I didn't do it on purpose," police quoted Fordyce as saying.

    Fordyce ran to a neighbor's house for help, but couldn't find anyone there to call 911, police said. After returning home and checking McCann for a pulse _ and finding none _ he went downstairs and drank a beer before going to another neighbor's home and asking them to call 911, police said.

    Autopsy results were not immediately available.


    http://www.forbes.com/technology/feeds/ap/2006/04/14/ap2670784.html
     
  2. GoneA

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    sometimes i kinda kill people by mistake, too. :rolleyes:
     
  3. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    That's the biggest pile of Bullshit I have ever read. Domestic Violence is such a fucking waste. You almost want to go up to the guy and offer him a cold sandwich, just so he throws the first punch.

    I hope it wasn't a meatball sandwich....
     
  4. Matthew

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    He sounds like the type who will really enjoy becoming some bad man's boyfriend.
     
  5. rob_just_rob

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    I'm literally dying to know what kind of sandwiches they were.

    Mm. Perhaps I should have worded that differently. And not misused the word "literally". Still, it bears considering. Hot sandwiches often lead to soggy bread.

    In other news, Mr Fordyce is a waste of biomass and can hopefully look forward to being the meat in a Bubba/Walter/Snake sandwich...
     
  6. B_Spladle

    B_Spladle New Member

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    Bitch had it comin'. All the man wanted was some fuckin' warm sandwiches and she couldn't provide 'em? Shit, that nigga shoulda microwaved the sandwiches hisself, shoved 'em up her cunt and then raped her. That woulda been muh-fuggin' JUSTICE.
     
  7. climber

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    woah....
     
  8. b.c.

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    I'm curious about the sandwiches too. Couldn't have been tuna, tho a tuna sandwich that's correctly made is "to die for" i don't know of anyone who eats hot tuna sandwiches. Why is that? They have hot fish sandwiches, and tuna is a kind of fish, so why no hot tuna sandwiches? I'm betting it was maybe a ham and cheese on bun. Those are great to heat up, except if it's dressed. Microwaves are hell on lettuce and tomatoes. So it probably was ham and cheese on bun, no dressing. There is also a slight possibility that it could have been a chicken or turkey sandwich too. Some chicken sandwiches are good, some are not. Turkey sandwiches are the most tasteless of them all. Wouldn't it be a kick if it were jelly and penut butter?? A hot jelly and penut butter sandwich!! EEccchhh! It reminds me of the time i brought my lunch to school in a brown paper bag and big fat Keisha sat on my lunch. Funny. I've had an aversion to large women ever since. Hey, it was a traumatic experience. I was hungry that day. And when I told Ms. Jones about it, she.........
     
  9. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    He never got his sandwiches heated, but then he ended up being grilled by the police anyway. There's a strange logic to it all really. :rolleyes:
     
  10. Lex

    Lex
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    Yes, I accidentally throw microwave ovens at people all the time, too.

    DAMN.
     
  11. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    *shrugs*

    Some like it hot.
     
  12. JustAsking

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    Yeah, I hate it when that happens.
     
  13. Dr. Dilznick

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    Agreed. I usually don't date 58-year-old bitches, but have tossed inanimate objects at a hoe comparable to a microwave.
     
  14. jakeatolla

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    Hmm, didn't know that we reverted to Bizzaro world...
     
  15. tallguypns

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    ironically there were hero sandwiches.
     
  16. rob_just_rob

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    The first thing I thought was that they were Cuban sandwiches. The peppers and onions are sauteed anyway, so they won't be significantly impacted by being reheated. And Cuban sandwiches are usually on a crusty bun or roll, which would presumablyy stand up to being microwaved better than conventional bread would.

    That said, the reasoning that applies to Cubans would also apply to a lot of submarine sandwiches - meatball, steak and cheese, etc. However, I tend to believe the article would have called them "subs" and not "sandwiches" were they in fact, conclusively determined to be subs. That is, unless Subway or Quiznos paid the wire services to leave out any implication that their products was involved.


    Tallguypns, are you sure they were Hero's? You aren't just saying that for ironic effect, I hope? This has become far too important for me to allow the spread, however inadvertent or in jest, of false sandwich information.
     
  17. b.c.

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    Yes, that is possible. And it could've been a "hero" sandwich too, except here in N'Awlins it wouldn't have been ironic at all because "heroes" are called "po-boys" here, a shortened version for the apropos "poor boy" from a time back when they were indeed inexpensive. No so today. A po-boy, depending on whether you have luncheon meat, turkey, ham, ham and cheese, roast beef, hot roast beef, bar-b-que roast beef, hot sausage, shrimp, oysters, or even soft shelled crab, can cost a pretty penny, even moreso if it is dressed (Hmmm...can't recall if i ever heard of a chicken po-boy sandwich. But there must be. They have practically every other kind). By the way, I used this term "dressed" before, but it hadn't occured to me that the term ( meaning with lettuce, tomatoes, pickles etc.) was not a universal term until only today. Anyway, to get to the point, a true po-boy is made with french bread, and the characteristic of french bread is that the outer shell is crispy hard while the inner part is very soft. Heating a po-boy therefore in a microwave (if not done correctly) has the potential of destroying this particular quality of the bread, making it all a hot soggy mess. Of course, in a pinch, one does what one must and often shoves all of it, dressing and all, right into the microwave. Man, I wish i had one right now. What time is it??
     
  18. curious n str8

    curious n str8 New Member

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    So he didn't want to take the time to heat up his own fucking sandwiches in a microwave yet he took the time to beat is gf to death :wtf1: :asshole2:
     
  19. steve2727

    steve2727 Member

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    It's probably that putting a sandwich in a microwave, thinking how long he needed to heat it for and typing in the numbers was far too intellectually taxing for this guy.

    Whereas picking up the microwave and hitting someone with it until they stopped moving was probably right on his level. I bet he's just about smart enough to bend over and take it in the prison showers too.
     
  20. madame_zora

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