Man Of Desire: Damian (m/m & F)

PDuvalEE

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Okay. So I have an obsessive personality. Oh, and a split personality, too, frankly. Married to a woman, bunch of kids, but it is men that push my buttons. And right now, I’m stuck on one guy. Call it Covid Quarantine. As I stretch out in bed and love the feeling of my hard cock. Yeah, I’m thinking of him. And he gets me hard right away. Damian. That’s his name. Haven’t seen, heard or talked to him in years. But now I’m obsessed with him. And I want his cock to abuse me. Hard. He’ll let me blow him, for sure. And who would say no to a fuck. God, I bet he can hammer away.

I smear the precum around my cock head and smile. Damian. Even the name is cool. See, D is the COOLEST guy I’ve ever known. Athletic, funny and fucking drop dead gorgeous. Of Czech descent. Think Bon Ami porn-star hot. Hot dark hair, handsome face, piercing eyes, and a bad boy streak. No way has he never played on my side of the team. He’s a NYC boy. Brownstone, no less. Probably lost his V at 12. Probably got lots of head from some sleazy XXX book stores back in the 90s. 6’2” and a smile to cream girls panties. And really cool bad boy friends. Everyone loved D. I wanted to get fucked by him so bad.

How I got fixated on him, I have no idea. He’s not even in my contacts, that’s how long it’s been since we’ve talked. And yeah, the past is very often just best left in the past. But see, one day ages ago I saw the outline of his big fucking bat in his board shorts when we were at the beach. And damn, that boy is hung.

I am laying in bed and think of all of the ways I can seduce him. How I can sort of bring it up. Maybe. See, the wife lives at our other house. So I have time and options to play. And I need to get D over here. Fuck, first I need to pee. I roll out of bed and take care of that. Admiring my tight physique in the mirror. Lots-o-gym time has kept me in decent shape. My cock, 7” semi, gets shaken off and hmmmm…that shake felt good. Evil smile. Back to bed. Cock ring vibrator out, with the taint tickler. F-ing drives me crazy. I have big ass balls and they love a good buzzing. I squeeze my legs together against the vibrator and I’m stroking hard. Arching my back as I imagine D mounting me. Asking me ‘do I want his cock’. ‘Does my little slut boy want to get fucked’ and all I can say is ‘YES, YES’ and damn, that did it. Over the top and slime all over. About 8 good shots, and then a few dribbles. And I taste it. Hmm. Rub it under my nose. Savor it. Damn, I need Damian to fuck me!
 
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PDuvalEE

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I’m like into this for about 3 weeks now. Fantasizing about my buddy. He’s married (well then) now divorced. Kids. He’s totally got a girlfriend. No way could he ever be single. He’s the type that can walk into a bar, grab a beer, chat a chick up and be ready to go fuck after that. And she'd go. Then he’d no doubt fuck her silly and then smoke a cigarette and cuddle with her. Talk her into staying the night so they can cuddle and he can fuck her a few more times. Yep. That’s D. So the opposite of me. Yeah, I’m considered good looking. But post-fuck, you aint got a dick, you aint staying around.

In fact, I really don’t get laid, properly laid, all that often. Easily 500 blow jobs from guys at the gym. Sauna or steam room. All these macho dudes pumping iron and going all he-man. Get them into just a towel, and they are horn dogs looking to suck a guy like me off. I don’t really reciprocate. Maybe sometimes. Not sure why that is. A guys slips his finger in my ass while he’s blowing me – stars and shootin time. I’d rather have a guy jerk off and spew on me. I guess because it’s safer? I’m happy for him to have a good time. I love the gym and can’t wait to get back to them. Especially the ones in NYC. Soho is my favorite. 23rd Street really is just too gay. Tribeca has a crappy sauna. Fucking hell, I can feel some pre cumming out. God, and the wife is coming down for a visit tomorrow, so not a lot of options to get one out – and she always needs to get laid our first time back together. Shit. So I’ll need to save this load for her. One time I was like “not tonight honey” and that earned me a look. Happy wife and all.

So why am I married, if I like dudes? No choice. Episcopalian parents. Wealthy Episcopalian parents. Of the Mayflower crowd. Actually before then, too. Descendants were expected. Oh Mom, I am sure, had her doubts. But one has a “duty”. My duty was to get married, and produce heirs. Which I have done. I like my wife. I made a promise to her. We’ve muddled along. Divorce is so expensive. And unnecessary. She goes away and my heart grows fonder. For guys that I can fuck, and get fucked by, and lead the life I’d like. Only it hardly ever works out that way.

Still working, which is fine. Don’t have total free time. Live in Westchester, just north of NYC – not that NYC in Covid has much to offer. Certainly not gay bars. And with Craigslist gone, that’s a shame. Grindr – eh – sucked some dick there. Met some guys. Kept it going. I’m in my 40s – amazing how many 20 year old’s want to play with “Dad”. I’d as soon fuck most of them. Had a kid – 20 – on election night – whole town is glued to the TV. He rode his BIKE over to me. I pulled him into the bushes and both hands pushed him down and he delivered a very satisfactory blow job. On an empty main road. Total hottie. Nice cock, but I’d blown my load so that was it. He just wanted my ‘milk’. Texted via Grindr a few times, but haven’t hooked up since.

Then there was the ‘Brown Dragon’ - total Indian hottie with a massive cock. 25 give or take and stamina like a fucking bull. Easily 9” and fat. Makes me bleed every time. I’m like “MORE LUBE”, which he ignores. Total fuck-wad. I’m like, ‘that’s massive, make it quick’ and he’s like ‘shut the fuck up so I can cum’. Nice. Seriously good relationship where the guy fucking you – on the hard floor, needs to imagine he’s somewhere else so he can cum. Yeah, I have issues. But he’s nice. And It’s something to do. I can text him and say ’20 min’ and he’ll be like ‘yeah’. He likes me to buy him presents. Givenchy cologne was the first. Whatever.

Then he found a ‘Manties’ website and directed me to buy a bra, manties, stockings, a garter and a camisole. It was oddly intriguing to transform into a guy that likes silk and satin. Only it made my dick HARD. I wore camouflage army pants and a Pat’s sweatshirt, with boots. And he undressed me. And got hard and told me how pretty I was and bent me over and started to insert his penis (large) into my ass, dry, with no condom, by pulling the manties to the side. It was hot. But impossible. Slathered lube all over, ruined manties (not upset at all) and fucked me. All while I had to be silent. So he could cum. I was on PreP then. Not now, not with the potential of kidney issues. Yeah, I have a shit life. Until I think about Damian. Then I smile, get hard, and enjoy a few blissful moments of pleasure.
 
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PDuvalEE

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Admittedly, I am a complete and total head case. Certifiable. Delusional. I fall in love with all of the wrong men (well, only one so far. MASSIVE cock). Total in love, heart fluttering, we talked every day and what drove me insane was he was so ‘secure’ that he’d create natural events to show me his cock - pretty much every time we’d meet up. Always for beers. He needs to take a leak. Dog park, sailing, skiing, football games. “I need to pee”. We’d play cards and he’d leave his cock sticking out of his shorts. He practiced that move, I am sure. I fell hard. We had a few good years. Fessed up to him. Blew his mind and ruined our friendship. We are outwardly friendly, but nowhere near the bond we had before. Sigh. He was a big boy. I fantasized about date rape drugging him – that’s how crazed I was. So many others. I know Damian will be the same, but my mind is fixated. Absolutely fixated.

How to go about this? Man-up dude. Call him, I say. That’s just weird since we haven’t talked in a decade. Fuck. Text? Pussy-boy. Find a way to run into him. Call him for advice on Prague? His father owned a castle there. That might work. Fuck. Too random. All of our mutual friends have settled into their own little groups – we really have no connections. This is hard.

Back in bed. The wife came (yes, both senses of the word) and left and I’m on my own, which I prefer. In bed. Sleepy and waking up slowly and I want a boner so I think of D. He’d walk in the door from the bathroom, bat swinging like Michael Fassbender’s in that movie. He’d see I was awake and honestly, he’d get hard as he slowly walked up to me. He’d climb into bed, and roll over between my legs and put his cock at my hole. Legs on his shoulders. ‘Pretty boy need a good fucking this morning?’ and I’d nod. He’d lean in for a kiss and his left hand would grab the lube – squirting some in the general area needed. Then I’d feel the pressure and he’d go slow and it would be beautiful and then he’d work up a head of steam and slam-bam me and I’d just cum and then he would and we would make out and it would be beautiful then we’d cuddle and it would be great. My hand is covered in my own cum. I feel good.
 
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PDuvalEE

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My life is basically work (mask on), shop for food, cook, eat, drink, gummy at 6:00 and then go to bed. Then wake, dream about Damian and maybe cum, maybe not. But a few fun strokes to remember I’m a guy. Life is too short.

See, oddly, while ‘no good hard-on should go to waste’ – I love being horny. It takes the mind so many places. I am so bad. I always check out a guy’s bulge FIRST, then his face. Seriously, nice bulge: ‘please fuck me’ would follow. In my mind. You never know. I am convinced all guys are horny and love a good discrete encounter. Make it anonymous, even better. I blew a kid the other day in the bathroom of a grocery store. He was a dick, literally. But it was kinda fun. Decent spunk on him. The down side to spanking it, for me, is if I do it too much – I can go like a week or 10 days without a sexual thought. Odd. I believe in 'use it or lose it', so I use it, but I like being horny.

This is like months after I started having Damian fuck me silly at whim. It’s pathetic, I know. But we are in a pandemic. At least it’s good, clean, safe, imaginary fun. And his cock is so awesome. I love his head in my mouth. I love tingling his balls, making them pull up tight. I love when he takes control and face fucks me, as he gets to the edge. I love his ass and kiss it and rim him. And our showers are the best. He is a phenomenal kisser. In my mind, anyway.

I shoot a load. It was the shower scene that did it. He’s got a 5” softie. FAT. And an ass he loves to get eaten. He kicks my legs wider, puts conditioner on my ass and moves his cock in. I push out, yeah, it hurts. ‘Baby’s making me feel so good’ and ‘your pussy is so tight’ and ‘fucking hell you feel good’ and he picks up the pace. His hand on my chest, hair, waist, and slam-slam of his cock into my very willing ass. I shoot (see above) and that triggers him. And it’s warm and lovely and we cuddle, by myself, enjoying the bliss. I miss him.
 

PDuvalEE

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Okay, so vaccinations are progressing. There is now a light at the end of the tunnel. We are not all going to die and the country may have higher taxes and businesses have closed and millions are miserable, but I should be able to kiss Damian soon. If I can find him. Without freaking him out. Then I have to seduce him. Then he has to not beat the crap out of me. Then he needs to get hard and shoot his load onto my face. I’m planning to start with a blow-job. Very simple and less gay that a fuck, which is what I’d really like. Of course, he’ll want me to fuck him, too, which will be awesome. I am so eating that cute ass of his and then working my many French fuck-wonder skills, he’ll cum hands free. And I will breed him and – wait for it – he’ll get pregnant and it will be life happily ever after. Told you I was fucked in the head.

Seriously. This has gone on longer than my usual fixations. Covid? Sure, my lover was a 2 year fixation, but at least he was there and in front of me. Str8 dude with a massive cock who liked to show it off. Whatever. Don’t show your cock off to a gay dude and expect indifference. Fuck.

Damian. How to make this happen? We worked together, and had lots of mutual friends. We all summered in the Hamptons together. Hmm. Wheels spinning on ice. No traction. Then, amazingly, through the vodka cloud, a glimmer. Don’t do a direct frontal assault. God, I could suck that cock right now. But go through intermediaries. Yes. Reach out to mutual friends. “Wanted to see if you died from Covid” – no, sorry, black humor. Not appropriate. Too many have, will have, or may have. “Hey, bud, been a while, wanted to check in”. Huh. That might work. And then one Hampton friend worked in Scarsdale, at the wine store there. Maybe I need some wine. Yes. Possibilities.
 

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So I thought and thought and wrote and wrote and figured out the approach. Not just the first step, but the second, third and fourth. Head cases can do that.

“Hey Forrest – Ethan here. Been a while and wanted to check in on you and the fam. Hope all is well – all good here. Cheers, Ethan” Then click send.

To one of Damian’s best friends. His other best friend was a total dick. His other, other best friend, 6’4” lacrosse player who wore a sarong and I’d have dropped to my knees and worshipped him anytime, but Forrest had suggested he might not be the cleanest dude and he cautioned any lady friends to stay away. But he was built like a brick shot house and fuck all if I wouldn’t have taken any diseases for a roll in the hay with him. Sigh. I wonder where he is today. I can’t even remember his name. Adam. Great – new fixation for a sarong wearing lacrosse player who is totally hot who you don’t know where he is. He has to have a nice cock. You can’t be that cocky and not be hung. Sigh. Fuck.

I toss my phone down, and move onto the next obsession. Cleaning. The. Apartment. It’s filthy. 10 months in and no house keeper (covid). I suck at cleaning, and can only do it all-in, 100%. Today is one of those days. Bed stripped, 50 up and down stairs, laundry, vacuum, dust, dishwasher, recyclable, clean fridge, clean pantry closet, clean three other closets. Finally. Apartment, one bedroom, is not dirty, is somewhat tidy and my body aches. Like 8 hours of cleaning. I am a freak. Check my phone. Wow.