I'm pretty sure that you just became every nelly bottom on this site's newest and best wet dream. Its not twisted, its just a power thing like you said. You like being in control, and, in my opinion, you like going after a man's, and I use this term because I can't think of a better one, innocence. A man that never considered bottoming or anything like that before agrees to bottom for you and that just drives you wild, you like the challenge of getting a top to bottom and you love the fact that you will always be the first one to have fucked him and he will always remember that. At least that is my take on it![]()
That's me too. I've always been more sensual than sexual. I'm not usually sexually attracted to people unless I already know and like them. Trust, intimacy and shared experience are desired more than getting pounded. Each to his or her own.Actually the times I've been with guys have been kind of mellow and sensual. There's this tender quality about some regular guys that's erotic as fuck, with some undercurrent of strength and passion. It helps if I love or like the person.
A black woman I used to work with had a black gay male roommate. He had several sleepover guest a month, but one morning the two of them were in the kitchen when she came out of her bedroom.
The overnight guest (also black) was embarrassed that a woman knew he was
gay. After a couple minutes, the roommate twigged why his date had become so quiet. With a big smile on his face and a wink for my co-worker, he grabbed the guy by his wrist and pulled him back into his bedroom.
A couple minutes later, she heard the bed squeaking, but she was puzzled because she normally heard her roommate squealing (he was a bottom).
She goes to his bedroom door and listens, but still doesn't hear him, just the squeaking bed. She opens the door and goes in. Her roommate is on top of the guy. The guy looks up, sees her and tries to disengage. Her roommate puts him in a wrestling hold and keeps on pumping while she watches.
This anecdote may not seem related to the topic, but it is. A gay bottom turns into a top to dominate an embarrassed-to-be-outed gay top.
Is strength about control? Do you neccesarily need to overpower somebody to manipulate them? Is dominance more arousing to you than , or the desire to "top" somebody as a stamp of your own masculinity, that you were manly enough to turn somebody...of in a sense force, them?
Or are you into harder sex with a man, because you are unable to be tender and emotionally connected sensually with a man- is the intimacy an obstacle to the same kind of lovemaking that you might have with a woman?
And if the woman was sexually aggressive? Would the sex with an asssertive strong woman not suit you? Would she be classed as the submissive male, beyond the pale?
OMG -- that is fucking hot considering the source (!)(!)(!)
No shit!:biggrin1:
This power dynamic isn't as simple as it sounds...The top only has as much power as the bottom is willing to consent to and allow. The bottom sets the limits...The best example i can think of...is fisting. The fistbottom dictates the speed, duration and extent of the play...the top's chief source of pleasure is in participating in the ecstasy of the bottom as an observer and facilitator.