manhood rituals

SilverTrain

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I was cleaning out my DVR this morning, and erased an episode of the tv show TABOO, which was all about third world public rituals that are rites of manhood passage: African ritual teen circumcision, carving intentional scars into the skins, running with a herd of animals, facing the sting of insects, etc. Reminds me of the scene in FLASH GORDON...

Our culture has some common 'road signs' that are on the way to manhood: getting a drivers' license, graduation from high school, getting plastered on your 21st birthday...

Creatively speaking, what would you invent to be a new type of public ritual to pass from boy to manhood?

I'm not much into public rituals.

But the manhood rituals that I deem important (primarily learned from fathers and other male role models in close proximity):

Learning what it is to be a gentleman.

Developing instinctive chivalry.

Learning to compete with ferocity and dignity and honor.

Learning to take care of one's body, health and appearance.

Learning when to be ruthless and when to be merciful.
 

D_GlennFeckless

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Getting your ass beat by someone three times your age.
Cooling your swollen eye with raw red meat.
Eating that same meat for dinner.
Getting the "What every boy needs to know about being a man" talk from Uncle Hub.
 

Phil Ayesho

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The same with modern "rituals" why do we have to put a big definition on a man or woman? Shouldn't we put more value on character and personality?

I think you miss that such rituals are meant to place just such an emphasis on character.
Native American rituals involving pain and sacrifice of flesh were meant to prepare a young man for the plain fact that, as a member of that community, in having a family, he would be called upon to endure pain and sacrifice for the survival of his people and his family.
And for a young man facing this doubtlessly daunting ordeal, coming thru it... knowing that they could willfully face their own fear, and bear such pain taught them not only how to endure... but also built in them the character of a warrior and hunter. Imagine the confidence with which such a young man could stride into the wilds, knowing aforehand what hardship he had the sand to bear?


While we do not need the same kind of confidence, today... that borne of understanding physical suffering... I think the point of the thread is that we still need to raise men, ( and women) to have a sense of what life as an adult will demand of them. And the confidence to know they have what it takes. ( not to mention the confidence their community feels in knowing the younger generation has what it takes to assume the responsibilities of adulthood)

Our rituals of passage must reflect the challenges of adult life in our society... and promote the traits of character we admire and to which we all aspire.

The question is... what are those challenges? Controlling your temper behind the wheel? Just the right blend of sucking up and standing up for yourself to prosper in the corporate job market?

I think the biggest challenge for young people today is to find out that other people matter, and their contribution to community is more important than they getting what they want.

Unwarrantedly high self esteem and self centeredness seems to be the
real threat to society, the real challenge for youth to overcome.
 
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ManlyBanisters

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Your misunderstanding of what I wrote is very revealing.

Far from a 'phallocentric' perspective, the idea is that a man is not a man until he learns that his partner's pleasure matters more than his own.
The idea being to teach young men to be LESS self centered in their sexual pursuits and in their treatment of women.

Try pulling your head out of your prejudice and recognizing that,
A. it was stated literally tongue in cheek.

B. MOST men bring their partner to orgasm with their tongue, not their "phallus".

C. that women who are truly non-orgasmic are actually rarer than winning lottery tickets... that most women with difficulty have issues with trust, with sexual repression, with guilt... ALL of which can be made the lesser by a lover who is kind, compassionate, patient and selfless.

D. That my attitude reflects the notion that we teach young men to actually be sensitive to how the woman feels.

E. That ALL of the above was actually the point... not the obviously ridiculous literal reading of the humor in which it was framed.


so, really... grow a lobe.

Hit a wee nerve there, did I Phil? :rolleyes:
 
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A ticket for a weeks trip to a country or a place where just the act of surviving from day to day is life.
 

Hoss

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Getting your ass beat by someone three times your age.
Cooling your swollen eye with raw red meat.
Eating that same meat for dinner.
Getting the "What every boy needs to know about being a man" talk from Uncle Hub.

Those are rituals? The 1st 3 sound more like regular life growing up for a lot of boys the last 1 sounds like time to call the police and have the uncle taken away.
 
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Now who is sexualizing stuff? Now who is inserting incest into a non sexual interaction between relatives? Hos, sounds like you are obsessed with incest. Methinks the man protests too much. I think you might need to steer clear of children and nephews. Getting a talk about what it means to be a man is not a sexual activity.
 

Hoss

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Now who is sexualizing stuff? Now who is inserting incest into a non sexual interaction between relatives? Hos, sounds like you are obsessed with incest. Methinks the man protests too much. I think you might need to steer clear of children and nephews. Getting a talk about what it means to be a man is not a sexual activity.

No, I merely indicated that it is a little strange that the Uncle would have this talk. A father or grandfather or older brother makes sense. If any of my Uncles had started a talk like that with me it would have been more than a little bit strange.

As to the earlier posts by mplsingleguy those were definitely incestuous or at the very least sexual in nature. ONE 18 year old boy in front of all his male relatives masturbating. Tube cover and face obstruction does not make it any different. It was according to him a ritual at age 18, the male relatives showing up know that the lad is now 18 and that he is the person in the tube masturbating. It is very obvious what that was about. It wasn't a setting with a dozen 18 year olds taking part in this alleged ritual, and relatives being there but not knowing which is there son/grandson/nephew/brother it is 1 person.
 

Phil Ayesho

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Hit a wee nerve there, did I Phil? :rolleyes:

Not really...

clearly I hit a nerve with you, tho... that hypersensitive tooth you have for anything you imagine smacks of male bias...

try some sensodyne

Your knee jerk response was so clearly the result of your distorted picture of men, and of me, that it actually made me laugh.

and not with you.


But that's okay, Manly... I am more than willing to explain my comments if for no other purpose than to demonstrate how entirely over the rim you are in this realm.
 
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Again, you are sexualizing. "Getting a talk about what it means to be a man is not a sexual activity.". NOR does it contain any reference to sex at all. I have great mentors who have talked to me about what it means to be a good, honest, upstanding man. Did they ever mention sex? No. It's very telling that you insinuate sex into everyone's posts... And you keep repeating that guy's bizarre family thing like you can't get enough of it. Most of us just read it, thought it was weird and moved on. Let it go, dude

No, I merely indicated that it is a little strange that the Uncle would have this talk. A father or grandfather or older brother makes sense. If any of my Uncles had started a talk like that with me it would have been more than a little bit strange.

As to the earlier posts by mplsingleguy those were definitely incestuous or at the very least sexual in nature. ONE 18 year old boy in front of all his male relatives masturbating. Tube cover and face obstruction does not make it any different. It was according to him a ritual at age 18, the male relatives showing up know that the lad is now 18 and that he is the person in the tube masturbating. It is very obvious what that was about. It wasn't a setting with a dozen 18 year olds taking part in this alleged ritual, and relatives being there but not knowing which is there son/grandson/nephew/brother it is 1 person.
 

Hoss

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Now who is sexualizing stuff? Now who is inserting incest into a non sexual interaction between relatives? Hos, sounds like you are obsessed with incest. Methinks the man protests too much. I think you might need to steer clear of children and nephews. Getting a talk about what it means to be a man is not a sexual activity.

Again, you are sexualizing. "Getting a talk about what it means to be a man is not a sexual activity.". NOR does it contain any reference to sex at all. I have great mentors who have talked to me about what it means to be a good, honest, upstanding man. Did they ever mention sex? No. It's very telling that you insinuate sex into everyone's posts... And you keep repeating that guy's bizarre family thing like you can't get enough of it. Most of us just read it, thought it was weird and moved on. Let it go, dude

You contributed nothing of substance to this topic. Only skipped in and made 2 attacks directly on me.

You bore me. Go away.
 
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