Marlon mckenzie

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I truly despise this culture we've created where people have to formally "come out" and publicly state that they are homosexual/not straight. And not doing so is somehow an indication that they're "in the closet" and ashamed of who they are. It's toxic AF.

And then naturally of course the next question is "is he a top or bottom?".....smh

P.S.: I know this is a sex forum so I'm not even speaking directly to this thread. But just a thought, in general.
 

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I truly despise this culture we've created where people have to formally "come out" and publicly state that they are homosexual/not straight. And not doing so is somehow an indication that they're "in the closet" and ashamed of who they are. It's toxic AF.

And then naturally of course the next question is "is he a top or bottom?".....smh

P.S.: I know this is a sex forum so I'm not even speaking directly to this thread. But just a thought, in general.
It's not that cut and dry is it? Some people "come out" by showcasing their same sex relationships online and not necessarily with an announcement. But for famous people the media still treats that as "coming out" lol.

Also regardless of public coming outs. The closet does exist and gay shame absolutely does as well. And that in turn is what created this "toxic" culture to begin with. People wanted to be open and proud to counter act the closet cases essentially and show that being blatantly gay wasn't negative.

So while I understand your point. It is only natural in a world where being gay can still get you fired, beat up kicked out or killed.

"coming out" is merely a response to those things.
 

nybatman

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It's not that cut and dry is it? Some people "come out" by showcasing their same sex relationships online and not necessarily with an announcement. But for famous people the media still treats that as "coming out" lol.

Also regardless of public coming outs. The closet does exist and gay shame absolutely does as well. And that in turn is what created this "toxic" culture to begin with. People wanted to be open and proud to counter act the closet cases essentially and show that being blatantly gay wasn't negative.

So while I understand your point. It is only natural in a world where being gay can still get you fired, beat up kicked out or killed.
I don't disagree with you on the existence of gay shame and that in the worst case scenarios being openly gay (or bi) can have both negative and harmful consequences. But even so, celebrities aside, the expectation that one must announce their same sex attraction and vocalize it across social media has created a sense of entitlement to how others choose to live their lives. This is evident in the way many people respond once said individual "comes out".

"He finally came out. Took him long enough"
"I always knew that he was gay. What took him so long?"
"He finally decided to stop fooling himself. It's about time"

These responses are not said to affirm the individual and create a positive space for them to feel safe (thus making others feel safe to follow suit). But rather it said to confirm the suspicions of those shallow-minded spectators and make them feel like they've accomplished something by sussing out an otherwise random fact about someone.

I'm not promoting secrecy or deception . But I am huge proponent of privacy and allowing people to come out in their own time. Lastly, in a world where being gay can still get one fired, cut-off from family and friends, beat up, or even killed, why then do we continue to shame individuals who choose to come out later in life?
 

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I don't disagree with you on the existence of gay shame and that in the worst case scenarios being openly gay (or bi) can have both negative and harmful consequences. But even so, celebrities aside, the expectation that one must announce their same sex attraction and vocalize it across social media has created a sense of entitlement to how others choose to live their lives. This is evident in the way many people respond once said individual "comes out".

"He finally came out. Took him long enough"
"I always knew that he was gay. What took him so long?"
"He finally decided to stop fooling himself. It's about time"

These responses are not said to affirm the individual and create a positive space for them to feel safe (thus making others feel safe to follow suit). But rather it said to confirm the suspicions of those shallow-minded spectators and make them feel like they've accomplished something by sussing out an otherwise random fact about someone.

I'm not promoting secrecy or deception . But I am huge proponent of privacy and allowing people to come out in their own time. Lastly, in a world where being gay can still get one fired, cut-off from family and friends, beat up, or even killed, why then do we continue to shame individuals who choose to come out later in life?
I don't entirely disagree. Coming out is often met with childish, hypocritical and petty responses from some in and out of our community. That's one of the unfortunate aspects we have to suffer through.

That said. Coming out is a central aspect of sexual minorities lives. In the sense that most people you meet in life will assume you are straight until you demonstrate/say otherwise.

All in all I would prefer people to come out in more "natural ways" as opposed to some official announcement. But I'm afraid that fix won't shut up the same people you are complaining about? I think they could say the exact same things if they wanted to. Announcement or not.

So I don't think your fundamental problem is with coming out? But rather just shitty people who make things about themselves.

To your last point. I also agree. No one should be shamed for coming out (at any time)
 

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I honestly just googled it. OMG
FORTY? but its like.. I had no idea he was 26 when he was on Xfactor. That's crazy.

Unlike some where people kinda lie and say a person looks younger than they are he LITERALLY looks like he's still in his 20s. His skin is amazing.
 

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I honestly just googled it. OMG
FORTY? but its like.. I had no idea he was 26 when he was on Xfactor. That's crazy.

Unlike some where people kinda lie and say a person looks younger than they are he LITERALLY looks like he's still in his 20s. His skin is amazing.
That black don’t be cracking if you take care of yourself. He’s got whole teenagers too.