Marriage advice on sex

[Shawn_cs]

Bisexual closeted guy (26) about to get married to a woman who claims to like sex very much. Both of us are virgins, very normal in our culture. Most married guys say that passion goes away in the first six months. What's your view on this?

 

[palakaorion]

Love marriage or arranged marriage?

Being in love with your partner can enhance the entire relationship. If you're not currently in love with her, learn to be in love with her.

As for the sex, relationships go through seasons. About six months is when stuff starts to get real, which can mean life gets in the way of being intoxicated by passion. But it's not necessarily a crisis unless you make it one.

 

[palakaorion]

Forgot to say this: find a way to be available to your wife anytime she's interested. Even if your brain and heart aren't 100 percent into it, your body can convince them. Withholding sex is starting down a path that doesn't lead anyplace you want to go.

 

[Shawn_cs]

Thanks! It's a love marriage. Since she's withholding sex till marriage, I feel a strong passion right now but I don't want it to fizzle I also feel a lack of confidence due to my bisexuality. And I will have to keep that a secret.

 

[bigtimuk]

Most married guys say that passion goes away in the first six months. What's your view on this?

Passion can last a liifetime, 32 years and still going strong here

 

[mrbigdoc]

I have to tell you that we have been married for 46 years here and we still have so much passion in our sex life it's hard to believe that we think it just gets better. Nice as the years go by to still try to find ways to turn each other on and with all the lifelong knowledge of what works so well for each other and we never go without. By the way I am bi as well and enjoy my cock hunting but I would never trade my wife for anything. We have a great thing going here.

 

[MrTMT]

I'm in similar with the original poster, as I didn't have pre-marital sex with my wife before the wedding. Although, I wasn't a virgin. I was too anxious in explored all I can prior to settled down. After I got married, we've had sex like on a daily for the first month we're together, some days there were 2 times. I think we had sex 35 times in a month.

Sex/passion does slow down after that, but not that soon of after 6 months. Normally, after 1 or 2 years, due to many factors involved - starting a family - is mostly the main factor.

If you're both sexually compatible with each other, it's all that take to keep the passion for years to come.

 

[Gj816]

The passion in and out of the bedroom will depend a lot on you. Her as well. But if you are doing your part to keep the fire burning you'll be just fine.

Sure the sex may slow down after a while, but if you're doing your part to keep her interested you'll be fine.

The problem is when you get in rut. Before you know it you'll have a belly and everything will be mechanical so to speak.

You have to remember to take care of yourself along the way. Stay active by keeping your body at peak performance.

Workout. Keep yourself looking good for her. Help around the house. And when you start a family (usually unplanned) be prepared to step up with the added work.

Feel good about yourself and make her feel good about herself and you'll be just fine.

Keep the sex interesting, try different positions, see what she likes. Listen to her and keep her happy in the bedroom and she'll keep you happy as well. Women don't come with instructions so you'll have to learn what she likes. You'll figure it all out in time.

Most importantly enjoy yourself in and out of the bedroom with her.

 

[hzs3fg]

Bisexual closeted guy (26) about to get married to a woman who claims to like sex very much. Both of us are virgins, very normal in our culture. Most married guys say that passion goes away in the first six months. What's your view on this?

I don't understand how either of you can possibly know how much you may like sex if both of you are virgins.

 

[insert_8]

I don't understand how either of you can possibly know how much you may like sex if both of you are virgins.

There is some truth in that statement, but that doesn't prevent you from making good estimates.

My wife and I were wedding-night virgins at 23. Leading up to that we had almost a year of non-coital lovemaking (making out, petting, etc), during which I think we learned quite a bit about each other's sexual responses, desires, etc. Early in our dating she said that she intended to be a virgin when her wedding day arrived, and have LOTS of sex after that. When we finally said the "I do", I was convinced she meant that. Among her family and friends there were several examples of couples with poor sex lives, and she was determined that her marriage would NOT be like theirs.

In fact, we probably underestimated our sexual desires and the significance of sex in our marriage. My wife really DID enjoy it, more than I expected a typical wife would. A year into our marriage there were still many days when it happened twice, or even three times. We seldom had kinky sessions, nor acrobatic positions, nor scream-into-the-pillow orgasms, but the sex was satisfying to both of us. Now in our late 60's, it happens two or three times a month rather than two or three times a day but we still enjoy naked physical intimacy and sensual play even though it doesn't end with intercourse.

 

[hzs3fg]

There is some truth in that statement, but that doesn't prevent you from making good estimates.

My wife and I were wedding-night virgins at 23. Leading up to that we had almost a year of non-coital lovemaking (making out, petting, etc), during which I think we learned quite a bit about each other's sexual responses, desires, etc. Early in our dating she said that she intended to be a virgin when her wedding day arrived, and have LOTS of sex after that. When we finally said the "I do", I was convinced she meant that. Among her family and friends there were several examples of couples with poor sex lives, and she was determined that her marriage would NOT be like theirs.

In fact, we probably underestimated our sexual desires and the significance of sex in our marriage. My wife really DID enjoy it, more than I expected a typical wife would. A year into our marriage there were still many days when it happened twice, or even three times. We seldom had kinky sessions, nor acrobatic positions, nor scream-into-the-pillow orgasms, but the sex was satisfying to both of us. Now in our late 60's, it happens two or three times a month rather than two or three times a day but we still enjoy naked physical intimacy and sensual play even though it doesn't end with intercourse.

You purchased a lotto ticket and you won!

Good deal.

 

[Shawn_cs]

Thanks for the relatable advices and sharing your experiences! Now since I am bisexual, I had a lot of action with guys only, as it was more available. I do get aroused when teasing my now fiance, but the change makes me anxious at times. I feel insecured that I may lose interest in her and to stay happy I will keep enjoying male touch on the side.

 

[Sagittarius84]

Thanks! It's a love marriage. Since she's withholding sex till marriage, I feel a strong passion right now but I don't want it to fizzle I also feel a lack of confidence due to my bisexuality. And I will have to keep that a secret.

If you insist on keeping your bisexuality a secret you are all but guaranteeing the failure of your marriage, its just a matter of when, not if..When you get sick of maintaining the façade, when she notices your glance or interests are as attuned if not more to male bodies than her own...
I'd almost say youd be better off this being an arranged marriage, because at least then there would be valid motivations for keeping things a secret from someone you didnt necessarily " pick".
There are women that are just fine with bisexual male partners, even some that seek them as an ideal, have faith her love will keep her with you, or love her enough to give her the choice if she wants to spend the rest of your collective lives possibly sharing you with other men...
You might be pleasantly surprised or deeply disappointed by her reaction now, but you will be so much more stress and resentment free later.

 

[deleted1757711]

I’ve been married 14 years. Sex was great when we first got married. It was every day in all sorts of positions and places.

It did slow down to a point where we went months without any type of sexual contact. Our relationship did improve and we have kids now. The sex had come back to, now we are having it 2-3 times a week.

 

[Abagnale12]

Bisexual closeted guy (26) about to get married to a woman who claims to like sex very much. Both of us are virgins, very normal in our culture. Most married guys say that passion goes away in the first six months. What's your view on this?

6 months? Being virgins? Lol. I highly doubt it. You should be good for a few years. Been with my wife 21 years and 10 married. We go through our phases but we just fucked 4 times today. Lol

 

[Notaes]

I am in my 35 year of marriage to same woman. Our chemistry is still same. We still love each other and are committed to each other the same as we were 35 yrs ago. Our sex life is actually better than 35 yrs ago as no kids and we are retired we have more time to fuck now! I would marry her all over again!

 

[slick9876]

Not sure that I agree with this perspective 100%. Been married 15+ years, totally in love and couldn't be happier with our relationship. But I do have bi tendencies I've kept in the closet our entire marriage and we, as a couple. have not suffered one bit. I guess it takes a degree of separating that out of our relationship which works for me.

If you insist on keeping your bisexuality a secret you are all but guaranteeing the failure of your marriage, its just a matter of when, not if..When you get sick of maintaining the façade, when she notices your glance or interests are as attuned if not more to male bodies than her own...
I'd almost say youd be better off this being an arranged marriage, because at least then there would be valid motivations for keeping things a secret from someone you didnt necessarily " pick".
There are women that are just fine with bisexual male partners, even some that seek them as an ideal, have faith her love will keep her with you, or love her enough to give her the choice if she wants to spend the rest of your collective lives possibly sharing you with other men...
You might be pleasantly surprised or deeply disappointed by her reaction now, but you will be so much more stress and resentment free later.

 

[thick_]

Six months?! And if she is a virgin how do you/she knows she loves sex? That aside if the chemistry is there you should be great for years. Not sure how to fit the bi-sexual however.

 

[Max_Polo]

Married 18 years. There are peaks and troughs in sex frequency, intensity, etc.

The second trimester of pregnancy is a definite peak, the estrogen love festival. We broke furniture in hotels.

Frequency of sex changes over time.

Sometimes we talk after sex and we both have commented that we’re not sure how it happens, but it just keeps getting better. We don’t fuck 10 times in a week anymore (maybe a week in Europe) but every orgasm seems to be a “top ten” of all time.

Respect your wife. The brain is the most important organ in a marriage. The brain is the most important sex organ.

 

[ohiorod]

Thanks! It's a love marriage. Since she's withholding sex till marriage, I feel a strong passion right now but I don't want it to fizzle I also feel a lack of confidence due to my bisexuality. And I will have to keep that a secret.

Red alerts flashed in my brain when you related that you need to keep being Nina secret and that you may have to practice your bi side to be happy. I understand that culturally you will have more standing married and it probably feels safer, but if you truly love this woman ask yourself why you might lie or cheat on her. Please, if you pursue your bi side, play safe and if you have not had a recent HIV test, please get tested for HIV and STIs. Good luck to both of you.