Marriage - How it should be done.

nudeyorker

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That was very interesting and a concept that I think applies to marriage and to many aspects of life; the more difficult to attain the greater the perception of desirability. Speaking as a gay man who is now legally married we had to jump through emotional hurdles before it even became an available legal option that I don't think most couples usually have to even consider when tying the knot.
Having said that I spent most of my adult life saying I would rather be alone than in the wrong relationship; I knew when I was ready for marriage and what was necessary for the emotional roller coaster when sharing your life with someone for the rest of your life. I seriously don't think most people weigh all the considerations of marriage because divorce has become such an easy acceptable option. When I was younger divorce was still stigmatized by many.
 
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MilkDaddy

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How about seperation of church and state...
Marriage need not be a legal issue at ALL.
Hell, lets just get rid of the whole bullshit institution...
Tax breaks for singles! Yeah!
Logic used...Problem solved.
 

AlteredEgo

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Marriage IS a legal issue. It always was. If not, I could have just moved into my husband's apartment when we had been dating long enough. But a marriage between us was something we saw as legally uniting our assets and liabilities. And... guess what? That's all the institution has ever been.
 

invisibleman

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How about seperation of church and state...
Marriage need not be a legal issue at ALL.
Hell, lets just get rid of the whole bullshit institution...
Tax breaks for singles! Yeah!

Logic used...Problem solved.

Nobel Peace Prize goes to MilkDaddy.
:biggrin1:

(Marriage schmarriage!)
 

Gillette

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How about seperation of church and state...
Marriage need not be a legal issue at ALL.

Are you kidding? It's the religious crap that should be dropped.
Children born or adopted need to be provided for in a divorce and sadly some parents are only responsible when forced by law.
 

blazblue

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KTF40

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Not to derail this thread, but why do people want to get married anyways? The tax benefits? Societal pressure? Do you need a legal marriage to confirm your love to your partner?

Why not just love someone regardless of what the labels may be?
 

MilkDaddy

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Marriage has not always been a matter of state. It existed long before we even learned to write and had legislative governemnt. However, my sarcasm aside, I do realize we have created a system riddled with flaws, marriage being a piece of the pie.
If we study the history of our own evolution, and governement systems, you'd see that there have been changes throught the centuries...
For example, marriage wasn't always an agreement of monogomy. That was started with a law by a jealous Roman Emperor who couldnt handle his wives' superior lovers, even though it was standard practice for couples to have extra marital relations...
Or the ring...the diamond ring was started by another jealous man of power. A french king I believe it was. He wanted to make sure the woman he was courting would choose him, so he sought out and bought the largest diamond he could find to win her through bribery...as was typical back then, the rest of the nobility started bribing their brides to be with diamonds....then diamond rings..etc.
 

Drifterwood

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My experience from close friends and family has been that people go into marriage for one set of reasons and come out for another, or rather what you leave is not what you went into. Certainly when you come out you can see it mainly as a property contract, because that is what you have to sort out and when there is a disparity in wealth then it gets silly.

Even though I don't like Mr. Berlusconi, his ex wife's divorce settle ment of something like $130,000 per day makes a mockery of just about everything.

Before the church and the State got involved and tried to control everything in the West, we had betrothal about a year before the wedding. The betrothal was where the families sorted out the deal. The families, no one else. I suppose prenups are something like this, but they are only legal in the UK in so far as they follow UK law, d'uh!

India accounts for something like 40%of all marriage, and 95% of these Rae arranged, so with other cultures also arranging marriages, the majority are arranged and they seem to have less divorce than us.

What does that tell you?
 

B_ItalianDonkey

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Probably in India some unhappy couple does not divorce because of the social pressure... I wouldn't say that arranged marriages are happy marriages.
 
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deleted356736

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That's contrary to my experience when we got engaged after 6 weeks and married a few months later, and are very happy 26 years later. My difference is I didn't marry the first woman who took my interest rather I shopped around until I found someone really special. I think this is the mistake that most couples make in they marry the wrong person. They think friendship and a bit of sex = love. It doesn't.
 

socalfreak

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My experience from close friends and family has been that people go into marriage for one set of reasons and come out for another, or rather what you leave is not what you went into. Certainly when you come out you can see it mainly as a property contract, because that is what you have to sort out and when there is a disparity in wealth then it gets silly.

Even though I don't like Mr. Berlusconi, his ex wife's divorce settle ment of something like $130,000 per day makes a mockery of just about everything.

Before the church and the State got involved and tried to control everything in the West, we had betrothal about a year before the wedding. The betrothal was where the families sorted out the deal. The families, no one else. I suppose prenups are something like this, but they are only legal in the UK in so far as they follow UK law, d'uh!

India accounts for something like 40%of all marriage, and 95% of these Rae arranged, so with other cultures also arranging marriages, the majority are arranged and they seem to have less divorce than us.

What does that tell you?


It tells you very little, once you learn that countries with arranged marriages , while having lower divorce rates, also have seriously higher incidences of marital rape, abuse &
murder...