Marriage

[D_jnkhg]

Fellow posters, as you can see from my age I still have a while before I reach this point in my life. I have my own view of this but I would like to know you thoughts and opinions on the subject.
Question Parameters: What your definition of marriage? What should a person do/not do during marriage? How should you view your husband/wife (appearance in your eyes, character)? How is marriage seen today? What do you think about those views?
Answer along any of these.​

 

[tachyon]

run...!!!

 

[Lester123]

Blimey, where do you start with a question like this.

I married young at 21 and I don't regret it. We were very much love at the time and had a great few years.

My regret, staying together for the kids too long. We divorced earlier this year after 10 years and four kids but the last couple of years were not good.

We get on a lot better now we don't live together and it is better for the kids that mummy and daddy don't argue the whole time.

My view, if you're in love then go for it, if you stop loving each other, get the hell out and quick

 

[DasLeezard]

just say no

 

[irox19]

you have to be 100% certain. I almost got married and thank goodness had enough sense to call it off because I was more unsure than I was sure. Most of my thoughts at the end of the relationship (when most couples in love are thinking about their brand new future) were "how will I end this later..." NOT GOOD.

So now I know if there is a next time with someone else, I won't go very far without already having a good idea of how sure I am of the person and the relationship.

 

[popgoestheweasle]

Don't do it ...its over rated ....I'm not old ...but not young....but the last 7yrs i have been faithful with my gf of 13yrs and looking back ..i regret all the girls i turned away.
in your 20's and 30's thats should be the time you get the most ass of your life and then it starts to slow down a bit....some guys like the different adventure with someone new (which can be a high and addictive). some love the security of not playing the field and just dealing with one....but i believe that if you dont have some side honeys and one day its over....it will be very difficult to jump in the single life (single life not easy to jump back into ) and that can cause some guys to take the breakup alot harder then what it should be

weasle

 

[LaFemme]

To me, marriage is one of the most important decisions a person will ever make. I take marriage seriously. So seriously, that I have never done it. I mate for life and I have never met anyone I felt I could make that sort of commitment to. And I'm not sure I ever will.

Still, lots of people do it. My thoughts are that you should have as much fun as possible when you're young. Definitely in your twenties and well into your thirties. Meet people, have sex, have relationships, work hard and get to know yourself. Marry only if you are really sure and if you want to create a family with someone.

When you're young, you are so many different people before you settle on who you become. I was someone different at 20, 25, 30 and 40. I know who I am now. It might have taken me longer than some others, but personally I think knowing who you are before you get married is important.

 

[HiddenLacey]

Well I was engaged at 20, but we didn't get married and I'm thankful for that because he wasn't a very nice person.

If I ever got married, I would hope he would be my best friend. Someone who doesn't mind my quirks. Someone one who can argue with me and the two of us come out stronger after the arguement. The person that brings me soup when I'm sick and laughs at the jokes that I make that really aren't very funny at all.

I think that marriage can be a wonderful thing if the people getting married are getting married for the right reasons. Which to me is that they really can't imagine being without that other person.

 

[petite]

....but the last 7yrs i have been faithful with my gf of 13yrs and looking back ..i regret all the girls i turned away.

I don't understand. Were you unfaithful the first 6 years?

 

[RideRocket]

Before you even consider getting married, you need to talk and communicate with your partner. Don't hold back on secrets, desires, dislikes, etc. because if you do, then chances are there will be resentment later on because you aren't being satisfied or you're too much of a freak or whatever. Also, sex isn't everything, but make sure you are matched to someone like you in that category.

Anyway, just some initial thoughts.

 

[closetbi]

^lmao

The truth is...all those girls you turned away wouldn't have been there had you actually been single. If you would have pursued them, they wouldn't have been there for you like your girl was. I've fallen for that trap 3 times, and that's 3 times too many.

Meh, I don't believe in monogamy anymore.

 

[popgoestheweasle]

Yes i was petite....I was very popular in my teens... so much so that i became addicted to sex ...so to make a long story short i got use to living like a king.

 

[popgoestheweasle]

closetbi

what i was trying to say is i would have still been with my gf but fucking them on the side

 

[Countryguy63]

I have a very jaded view on marriage, which I used to think would probably prevent me from ever doing it again.

However ...:wink:

 

[601900]

You have to be completely sure that you are ready and that you want to do it.That there are no doubts,from you or your partner.Like La Femme i take it incredibly seriously,i honesty don't know that i ever will get married,when i was younger i was 100% sure that marriage wasn't for me.Who knows what will happen in the future.But ''if'' and that's a huge
''if'',i ever do get married hope it really is '''til death do us part''.but it's not a priority for me.

 

[Free love]

Marriage is often idealized, I feel, by the unmarried. The reality of marriage is that it is many things. It's a friendship, it's a roommate relationship, it's a financial partnership, and it is a sharing of responsibilities when the kids come along. Not to mention the sexual/intimate side of it. No marriage is perfect. I know a lot of married people. I'm married. And no one's marriage is perfect. And all long term marriages have their ups and downs. One thing is for sure, the intense emotions and lust that come during the courtship days fade away by about year two. You might still love each other very much, but once this intensity is gone, you'll start to see what your relationship is going. I would not recommend anyone get married unless they have gone through this period with someone to make sure that it is the friendship and love that is holding them together and not the desire to screw. If you do it because you are head over heals in lust, you'll get a harsh awakening when the lust fades.

 

[musclebare9]

My parents were very dysfunctional with 7 marriages between the two of them. My grandparents on both sides were similar. All that said, I was very skeptical about marriage. I had learned that arguing, fighting and selfishness were normal. Strange enough, I met this incredible woman and married at the age of 22. We have truly had a great marriage and it continuously improves. She was beautiful the day I married her and as time passes she is just as beautiful. We don't always agree but have great discussions where we learn from and about each other. There have been some tough times where the marriage contract itself held us together. In other words, we made the committment and we were going to stick to it even though it wasn't easy. She rocks my world in bed because she has learned what I like and the same for her. Our trust has grown over the years and that creates an incredible sense of peace. We are best friends.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

closetbi

what i was trying to say is i would have still been with my gf but fucking them on the side

Ah- we have a word for people like you...
"Carrier."

Yes yes, to hell with personal responsibility, empathy, honor and ethics...

because you know what REALLY matters in life? Lackluster one night stands with as many strangers as you can possibly manage...


I am more than a little sick of a nation chock full of perpetual children, selfish and forever forestalling adulthood and making life actually happen.

The life he describes is self centered, and fine for someone who has no real capacity for caring for anyone else...



But if you aren't afraid to grow up, if you have the sand to take on real life and a real adult role... then follow your heart.

If you love a woman, sure, marry her.
I was married at 21... had two kids by 27...

I know all those peers of mine who spent their 20s and a good portion of their 30's having " fun"... when they were broke... drifting... or otherwise focused on themselves...
They were the ones who talked a brave game about all the ass they were getting, but they always seemed to be between girls... or between guys...

Meanwhile, my wife and I were exploring the furthest fringes of kink almost every other night.

And then... in their 30s, when these same self indulgent peter and petunia pans decided they were finally ready for commitment and a family?

Well... they turned out to be the ones spending 20 thousand dollars just trying to get knocked up because women's bodies are designed to start having babies in their 20s, and if they don't... things get balky.


Or, they are the ones who end up going thru teenage rebellion with their kids, while they are in their 50s or 60s'.


But me? My kids were grown and out of the house by the time I was 45... I still had plenty of youthful vigor left, and, I had the career and the income to enjoy it.



The marriage only lasted 14 years... but most of those years were a lot of fun... and despite the divorce... it was still time well spent...
Having a wife and kids forced me to buckle down and build a career, forced me to think of my obligations and responsibilities to not only my family, but others in general. It was a period of growth... and I have two fine sons to show for it... who have become good men in their own right... true to their women, and solid citizens.


Whatever you do... do it to your utmost.

And all those guys I know who avoided marriage for the fun of serial sport fucking... they are, at 35 and 40, sad, pathetic and lonely, or just now starting to live a real life.

 

[MagicJohnsonFan]

For me, marriage was a decision to commit to a life-long partnership that includes putting your relationship first, knowing ahead of time that we'd have ups and downs and our fair share of challenges. We decided to marry instead of continue to just live together as an ourtward expression of that committment in spite of the fact that we couldn't have - and didn't want - children. Someone mentioned earlier waiting a few years until the initial lust and all faded a bit so you could see what you were really getting into, and I think there's something to be said for that.

As corny as it may sound, my husband is my best friend. I can't imagine feeling like I can't be completely honest with him - both what's going on now and what's happened in my past - and I expect the same from him. Complete honesty, trust and open communication are 3 things that are required. For example, when I ask him, "Does my ass look fat in these pants?" it's because I really want to know and I trust him to tell me the truth!

How do I view my husband? I think he's very handsome and incredibly sexy (especially his eyes and smile). My level of respect for his character is extemely high. He's not just honest with me, but in general (something that's important to me) and we have very similar values. We share a high sex drive and desire to explore that aspect of our relationship together, which might seem strange to a lot of mainstream couples, but it works for us.