Married but new to dating

[happyashley28]

Hi everyone. I'm actually a very happily married woman who has recently started dating another man at the request of my husband. He has been interested in watching me with a "larger" guy for a few years. When he first brought it up, I was not at all pleased with the idea. But over the past two years, we've fantasized about it a lot when we're intimate and things have progressed to the point to where we found a guy we both liked.

I've found this board on the advice of a girlfriend who was with a larger guy a while back. She said she received some good suggestions on ways to enjoy sex with her man more so that it wasn't so uncomfortable.

While I haven't had intercourse yet with the guy I'm dating, I must say the idea scares me to death. He's huge. In fact, he's probably three inches longer and much, much thicker than any guy I've ever seen in real life. (Porn movies don't count :redface:. We have had oral sex and that was quite a challenge in itself. Still, I think he enjoyed himself with me. I know I enjoyed what he did to me.:smile:

At any rate, thanks for kind welcome. Hoping to receive lots of advice on making this as pleasurable as possible for all involved. I'm going out with him again on Friday night and not sure where that will lead. We'll see.

 

[Daisy]

Don't listen to the haters who say it can never work. Anyone who tells you it's a disaster better have personal experience before they judge. It can be a wonderful experience for both of you.

 

[nmf9in]

Welcome aboard. And good luck....!!!!

 

[Pecker]

Welcome.

 

[335575]

How does this all work for you and your husband? Do you both go out on a date with this new guy? Just you? Does your husband get to watch? Does he participate?

 

[palmboy]

Yeah I've heard of this but never been able to figure it out myself. I probably won't ever get married, so.. yeah.

Some posistions don't work - some big guys and some girls just can't do it doggy, for example. So take it slow and try everything, and maybe some new things, to find what works.

 

[Countryguy63]

Welcome. I just want to stress boldly and loudly...Honesty, Openness, and Communication!!!

Any other way and it's not going to work, guaranteed. I've seen both the successful and unsuccessful, and you can bank on my words.

Good Luck

 

[hung]

Certainly an interesting concept.

I wish you well but have a Plan B as a backup.

 

[happyashley28]

Thanks so much everyone for your kind words. Certainly, honesty, openness and a focus on lots of communication have been the keys for my husband and I so far. To this point, I've gone out on the dates alone because we both felt it would help me relax and be a bit less inhibited.

Eventually, my husband would enjoy watching me and joining in if it was OK for everyone involved. This is certainly not something we jumped into on a whim. We discussed it for nearly two years and spent more than 6 months really trying to find someone who was accepting of my limits and that our relationship is the top consideration. Still, this is a new experience for both of us and I greatly appreciate your thoughts and insights.

 

[335575]

Has this guy you are dating met your husband? How do they like each other. I would think that should be like step one.

 

[happyashley28]

Yes, they've met and talked numerous times. We've had dinner together on three different occasions before I ever went out alone with him. My husband has all of his contact info and I'm very careful to text/call while I'm out on my dates so my hubby always knows where I am and where I'm headed.

 

[mayber]

That is SO cool, I take my hat off to the three of you, you make me hard just reading your post! Glad to see people being able to be so open about something as this! BEST of LUCK!!

 

[happyashley28]

Thanks mayber. Taking it one date at a time but things are going well so far. I'll keep you guys posted.

 

[darkman92]

welcome! hope you get what you need

 

[ruffboy]

aloha ashley, lovely to see someone happy here! ;-p good luck in your adventures, that's just fantastically hot and i really look forward to hearing stories of your successes ;-p

 

[JohnnyFF]

Ashley,
My x wife, and I tried what your discussing, and always talked openly about our fantasies. Being in a safe environment is going to help everyone involved be less inhibitied. I allowed my wife to chose the man she wanted. I was a maintenance guy at a raquetball club where both my x, and I had memberships. I brought a camera into the bathroom, and took pictures of them for her, and that way she knew who had her package. I destroyed the pics after she decided, and she introduced herself after her workout, and that got the ball rolling. Within two weeks, she told me what her fantasy was, and how we would go about getting the ball rolling. It was different for me something I had never done before, but she enjoyed having her fantasy acted out. Did your husband watch you give him head? You didn't reveal that tidbit. Part of my x's fantasy was to have me watch her give head to a monster. Good luck, be safe, and OOH RAH!

 

[B_KOKOBWARE]

Welcome!

Keep us posted:smile:

 

[happyashley28]

OK, you've asked for an update and here it is:

I'm nervous as can be because tonight I'm going on another date with my bf and this time I'm planning on having sex with him. Scared that it's going to hurt but after many of the encouraging words on here and from some other friends I've met, I think the time is right for me to try this. I'm excited and scared at the same time.

He's asked me to stay at his place tonight and my husband thought that was a good idea. We'll probably go to dinner and then back to his place for the night (at least that was the plan when we talked by phone last night).

Wish me luck. I'll fill you in on the details when I get back tomorrow.

 

[pappan]

I would like to say
if you like mine you can come to me directly
please see mine & let me know your interest
thanks

 

[TheRob]

Don't listen to the haters who say it can never work. Anyone who tells you it's a disaster better have personal experience before they judge. It can be a wonderful experience for both of you.

to be fair the reverse is also true, it COULD turn into a disaster rather easily...