Thank you for your reply. No, I don't expect a fairytale....but I can see why it seems that way from my posts. One of the things I've always believed defines true love is how you can put one another through complete hell all day long, yet still want and need to get into bed together each night. We have been through tons of rough spots, and without him I couldn't have survived it. The rough spots are what test a marriage, without that ocassional upset how would we know we were alive? So I think what we are going through is a major rough spot, and a lot of it is steming from my issues. I'm just thankful that I have an understanding man who is crazy enough about me to hold my hand and walk beside me while we figure it out.
Thanks again for your answers.
Thanks again for your answers.
Patrick28 said:Just a bit over 1 year.
Faithful? Yes. Never showing any interest? Yes. Never HAVING interest? No. Being married doesn't suddenly turn you into something besides a person. You're still going to be attracted to other people from time to time. The only thing that changes is you don't act on it.
No.
After just a year, I couldn't tell you. I'm honestly not even sure how to exactly define the "spark," as relationships evolve over time. Things become different, but not necessarily better or worse. As others have said, the biggest thing is just to not take each other for granted.
That's a tough one. At this point, I don't expect to be COMPLETELY fulfilled. It's not that she can't or won't satisfy certain things. It's just that we haven't had enough practice yet. :wink:
Sure, but it's only a fleeting thought. I don't think you can help from wonder ing "could it be better if..." but if you're really committed to your marriage, you make the effort to turn those "if"s into realities with the person you're already with. Nobody can change who somebody else is--who they already are was part of the deal--but as others have said, there are comprimises to be made that make things easier, i.e., "I know you don't like it when I do that, so I'll try not to if you try not to do this, which you know drives me nuts."
In the end, no relationship is going to be 100% perfect, so thinking about how another one might be is a waste of time.
Bullstuff. Being married doesn't shut down one's human nature. Unless somebody has no imagination whatsoever, I can't imagine that being the case. Of course, it all depends on to what extent you're talking about. It's a big jump from wondering to actively seeking.
curiousgirl, I know this probably sounds a little negative, and I may be way off since I don't know the whole story, but I get the feeling from your questions that you bought into a fairy tale and are now having a problem accepting that what you have doesn't stack up to that. Things are what they are. I don't care how in love two people are or how compatible they are or how little they actually argue, there's no way in the world two people are going to live together and merge their lives without a) some sense of the routine setting in and b) driving each other up the wall on occassion. The key is to blow off the unimportant stuff and focus on what is important.
Another thing that somebody else noted is that this is practically (maybe absolutely) the only person you've ever been with, and now you're probably wondering what else is out there. That's only natural, but I really have no idea what to tell you about that. Something I do think is great is that you seem to have a handle on exactly what it is you're struggling with, and that's going to make it infinitely easier to fix.