Married guy in the closet

[intriguedandcurious]

Hello guys.

I guess this is the place where to put this post. I have been married for a long time, about 10 years. I'm 38 and have known I'm been bisexual for most of my life. In High school and college I had a few experiences with guys. I even had a 6 month long relationship with a man that was kept secret. We were just best friends to everyone else. After that ended, I dated a few girls and ended up falling in love with a woman.

Since my relationship with her was strong and we decided to get married, I figured it was no use to come out and let anyone know about me. Fast forward 10 years and that secret of who I am is eating me inside. I know I can't be honest with my wife because she would not have it. I also grew up in a very strict catholic family, which is why I kept it a secret. Most of my life I was led to believe being with guys is a sin and wrong.

I was fortunate enough to find the guy I had experiences with that also kept my secret or where in the close themselves. My story is long and basically, I would like to find a friend who understands what I'm going through. Someone I can have conversations like this and be myself with. Are any of you bi guys out there in the same situation?

 

[long_uncut]

Many of us on this site can identify with our situation.

 

[intriguedandcurious]

I'm glad to hear that.

 

[fullpak]

Many of us here have made some of the same choices and have travelled the same arduous path.

 

[WilliamG]

Yep. Same here!

 

[James666]

Hello guys.

I guess this is the place where to put this post. I have been married for a long time, about 10 years. I'm 38 and have known I'm been bisexual for most of my life. In High school and college I had a few experiences with guys. I even had a 6 month long relationship with a man that was kept secret. We were just best friends to everyone else. After that ended, I dated a few girls and ended up falling in love with a woman.

Since my relationship with her was strong and we decided to get married, I figured it was no use to come out and let anyone know about me. Fast forward 10 years and that secret of who I am is eating me inside. I know I can't be honest with my wife because she would not have it. I also grew up in a very strict catholic family, which is why I kept it a secret. Most of my life I was led to believe being with guys is a sin and wrong.

I was fortunate enough to find the guy I had experiences with that also kept my secret or where in the close themselves. My story is long and basically, I would like to find a friend who understands what I'm going through. Someone I can have conversations like this and be myself with. Are any of you bi guys out there in the same situation?

I don't have the same history/background but I am here to listen as a person

 

[figgnewton]

Hello guys.

I guess this is the place where to put this post. I have been married for a long time, about 10 years. I'm 38 and have known I'm been bisexual for most of my life. In High school and college I had a few experiences with guys. I even had a 6 month long relationship with a man that was kept secret. We were just best friends to everyone else. After that ended, I dated a few girls and ended up falling in love with a woman.

Since my relationship with her was strong and we decided to get married, I figured it was no use to come out and let anyone know about me. Fast forward 10 years and that secret of who I am is eating me inside. I know I can't be honest with my wife because she would not have it. I also grew up in a very strict catholic family, which is why I kept it a secret. Most of my life I was led to believe being with guys is a sin and wrong.

I was fortunate enough to find the guy I had experiences with that also kept my secret or where in the close themselves. My story is long and basically, I would like to find a friend who understands what I'm going through. Someone I can have conversations like this and be myself with. Are any of you bi guys out there in the same situation?

I'm stra8 but understand your dilemma. I am bi curious but NEVER ventured further than just thinking about it. Your best bet is to be quiet about your sexuality and try to be very discreet as I know you are doing now. Guilt can tear a person's emotions but I believe you have sexual urges for cock but love your wife. Don't try to explain this to wife for you know how it will end. Either stop what you are doing or except the dilemma you are in and enjoy the best of both worlds.

 

[nayova]

I have a very very similar story. I went through a lot and I am happy to be there for you. Even if we don't know each other, what matters is that we support each other and have someone to rely on and help us bounce back, gain perspective and awareness of who we are. If what you're saying it's true (and I have no reason to doubt!), I feel you. Feel free to message me if you want to talk further.

Hello guys.

I guess this is the place where to put this post. I have been married for a long time, about 10 years. I'm 38 and have known I'm been bisexual for most of my life. In High school and college I had a few experiences with guys. I even had a 6 month long relationship with a man that was kept secret. We were just best friends to everyone else. After that ended, I dated a few girls and ended up falling in love with a woman.

Since my relationship with her was strong and we decided to get married, I figured it was no use to come out and let anyone know about me. Fast forward 10 years and that secret of who I am is eating me inside. I know I can't be honest with my wife because she would not have it. I also grew up in a very strict catholic family, which is why I kept it a secret. Most of my life I was led to believe being with guys is a sin and wrong.

I was fortunate enough to find the guy I had experiences with that also kept my secret or where in the close themselves. My story is long and basically, I would like to find a friend who understands what I'm going through. Someone I can have conversations like this and be myself with. Are any of you bi guys out there in the same situation?

 

[Growing123]

OP do you get emotional crushes on men or is it just sexual?

 

[intriguedandcurious]

I get emotional crushes as well.

 

[njfellow2002]

Alot of supportive guys here, as you can see. You might be able to 'test the waters' with your current wife by putting on some bi-sexual (both female and male) adult video and seeing how she reactis. She might find M/M action hot. The stigma of 'disease' also doesn't help either (where a woman would not want to be with a guy that engages in M/M, as she may feel at risk) does not help. Is your wife open minded about sex in general? Swinger, nudist, etc...

 

[intriguedandcurious]

Unfortunately no. My wife would not be into any of that. I have actually joked around with her. I threw in a couple of hints here and there that I might be bi and it didn’t go well.

One time she said, if you turn out to be Gay or bi I would be devastated. That means that our entire life was a lie. All after I made a joke and said something along the lines of “hey an ass is an ass” referring to a hot guy at the gym.

She even went further to say, I would leave you and take everything, the kids, your money and even the dog. For making me live a lie. Then she laughed. She said she was joking... but was she?

 

[Parts Guy]

Hey brother. Yes. I am similar. Unfortunately I really didn’t realize I was Bi until late 30’s then really didn’t act on my urges until this year when I turned 50. Yea, it can be difficult to reconcile your desires. I am giving into mine and enjoying it.

 

[WilliamG]

One benefit of being bi-curios is I have zero love or affection towards men. No kissing. Just pure sexual need (we could be friends). Plus I love to fuck my wife.

 

[patindaytona]

Hello guys.

I guess this is the place where to put this post. I have been married for a long time, about 10 years. I'm 38 and have known I'm been bisexual for most of my life. In High school and college I had a few experiences with guys. I even had a 6 month long relationship with a man that was kept secret. We were just best friends to everyone else. After that ended, I dated a few girls and ended up falling in love with a woman.

Since my relationship with her was strong and we decided to get married, I figured it was no use to come out and let anyone know about me. Fast forward 10 years and that secret of who I am is eating me inside. I know I can't be honest with my wife because she would not have it. I also grew up in a very strict catholic family, which is why I kept it a secret. Most of my life I was led to believe being with guys is a sin and wrong.

I was fortunate enough to find the guy I had experiences with that also kept my secret or where in the close themselves. My story is long and basically, I would like to find a friend who understands what I'm going through. Someone I can have conversations like this and be myself with. Are any of you bi guys out there in the same situation?

Hi, I just joined this site myself. i'm 62 and married past 30 years. I had my bi experience back in high school. Would go to this guys house sometimes overnight, for around 3 years. Im Catholic also. I would love to exchange emails, or chat with you. I fantasize often about those days because I find it as being "taboo" and I have often searched on the internet to find somebody, but never have. Pat

 

[damnimbi]

Unfortunately no. My wife would not be into any of that. I have actually joked around with her. I threw in a couple of hints here and there that I might be bi and it didn’t go well.

One time she said, if you turn out to be Gay or bi I would be devastated. That means that our entire life was a lie. All after I made a joke and said something along the lines of “hey an ass is an ass” referring to a hot guy at the gym.

She even went further to say, I would leave you and take everything, the kids, your money and even the dog. For making me live a lie. Then she laughed. She said she was joking... but was she?

I don't know how that would mean your life with her was a lie. Did you love each other? Were you faithful? Do you both still plan on living your lives out together, for each other?

Being bi, or having those feelings, it's extremely complex. Most people deal by simplifying it into easy to handle objections or thoughts. We get it from both the gay and straight side.

 

[Growing123]

It's also difficult for men that fall emotionally for bi guys but choose not to take it further and break up a home. They just have to accept it as "never meant to be" despite feeling strongly about the man. I really wish that the man I like had never married :-(

 

[Togoddo]

Unfortunately no. My wife would not be into any of that. I have actually joked around with her. I threw in a couple of hints here and there that I might be bi and it didn’t go well.

One time she said, if you turn out to be Gay or bi I would be devastated. That means that our entire life was a lie. All after I made a joke and said something along the lines of “hey an ass is an ass” referring to a hot guy at the gym.

She even went further to say, I would leave you and take everything, the kids, your money and even the dog. For making me live a lie. Then she laughed. She said she was joking... but was she?

wow... her reaction is not helping you... but can she explain how you are making her live a lie?

 

[1059907]

Hello guys.

I guess this is the place where to put this post. I have been married for a long time, about 10 years. I'm 38 and have known I'm been bisexual for most of my life. In High school and college I had a few experiences with guys. I even had a 6 month long relationship with a man that was kept secret. We were just best friends to everyone else. After that ended, I dated a few girls and ended up falling in love with a woman.

Since my relationship with her was strong and we decided to get married, I figured it was no use to come out and let anyone know about me. Fast forward 10 years and that secret of who I am is eating me inside. I know I can't be honest with my wife because she would not have it. I also grew up in a very strict catholic family, which is why I kept it a secret. Most of my life I was led to believe being with guys is a sin and wrong.

I was fortunate enough to find the guy I had experiences with that also kept my secret or where in the close themselves. My story is long and basically, I would like to find a friend who understands what I'm going through. Someone I can have conversations like this and be myself with. Are any of you bi guys out there in the same situation?

Thank you for sharing your story
I come for a super christian conservative family as well and my parents would kill me if I do say I'm Gay
I think you're brave in even telling it out here
we all are your support system here

 

[intriguedandcurious]

Thank you for sharing your story
I come for a super christian conservative family as well and my parents would kill me if I do say I'm Gay
I think you're brave in even telling it out here
we all are your support system here

Thank you. It’s nive to know there is place where I can just speak my mind and not have to hide.