Married Men on the prowl

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by blooeyz, Jun 27, 2010.

  1. blooeyz

    blooeyz New Member

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    Is anyone else surprised by the, what appears to be, large number of married men cruising?

    In the past I felt that the number of men open to having sex with another guy was pretty limited, especially those in a straight relationship. but as I get older it seems like there are more married guys looking. Maybe as they age they are less uptight?

    Thoughts?
     
  2. zzykes

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    Can't say that I agree. Back 20-some years ago, in both NYC and Chicago there were any number of "attached" guys who liked to play the field. Seems pretty much the same now.
     
  3. BJs4You IL

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    I agree. It used to be the occasional str8 or married guy was looking. Now half the guys cruising online are married or str8
     
  4. AZNEWGUY

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    It's kind of scary when you think about it. I'm at the point that I ask if they are married. Crazy thing is, most of them are.
     
  5. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    From what I understand, in the past guys were able to explore their sexuality easier without being thought of as "gay". Now there seem to be distinct lines of demarcation in terms of straight or gay. I think a lot of guys may have interest in same sex activity but aren't open about it to their wives or girls friends. Also there seems to be more stigma attached to casual sex if you're married because of STDs. But I also know a lot of guys who are just looser about sexual stuff with other men generally but maybe it's because they're still in college. Maybe it depends on what country you're from too or what part of the USA you live in. There's this idea that there's no such thing as true bisexuals which complicates the issue. That's why there's all these porn websites that feature supposedly straight guys doing each other. I think those guys are basically bi myself.
     
  6. Sergeant_Torpedo

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    Bisexuality means being open to sexual relations with either sex, it doesn't mean (as some gay men assert) a homosexual hiding his sexuality by dating and marrying women but occasionally having sex with other men and women. Anyway, can you really attach a label to opportunistic sex.
     
  7. DV8

    DV8
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    Okay, the first thing that I want to say is "DUDE, I KNOW RIGHT?!?!?!"

    With that being said, I'll continue. Rappers Yogotti and Lil'Wayne said it best: "Women Lie, Men Lie". Growing up, our friends, families, ministers, teachers all painted a world for us where we all have mommies and daddies. They fall in love, they get married, they have children, and they all just live and grow old together. The part of the picture that we never saw or could ever think existed were the secrets. The secrets where vows are broken. Doors are closed. Lies are told. And ignorance is bliss.

    What I love about this site is that truly meet different kinds of people from different walks of life. For those of you who came out of the closet, you decided to be honest with yourself and the rest of the world. Those of you in the closet, decided to be honest with yourself but lie to the world. And of some of you lie to the world, and put forth a great fight of lying to yourself until urges bring forth truth. And it sucks, too. Some of these men can only fuck their wives from behind to help with their own fantasies during intercourse. Getting dildos for their wives to "spice up their sex lives", but when the wife's away, the husband will play- with or without an audience. There are even some men who dread special occasions where love making would be expected.

    When I was 16 years old, I used to go in the m4m chatrooms on AOL. I remember speaking to so many men, quite a few had girlfriends or were married. I remember speaking to this one man. He was such a nice man, and from what I gather had a very successful life. He had been married for almost 60 years. He told me about how he would go to the gym and stroke off with other men in the hot tubs... Or they'd touch one another in the saunas. He always just wanted to fuck and get fucked by another man. Even wanted to have a relationship with one. He told me that it was too late for him. The only way that he could be set free at this point is if his wife was to go in the ground, or he did. The last time I spoke to him was right before I graduated high school. I have no idea if he's dead or alive. He'd be about 87. You only get one life to live, and it's hard enough leading that one. To lead a double-life is hell, I'm sure.

    It was at this point that I realized that I enjoyed getting to know people on a sexual and intimate level (and no, I never met him or messed around with him). Because it's at this point that you truly get to see people for who they are, not what they show. Rhetorical question to those of you who have cammed/cybered/phone-boned some of these married men: Does it blow your minds that you more than likely know these men more intimately than their wives, the mothers of their children?

    Please know- anyone reading this- I'm not judging anyone. We are who we are, and do what we do-their marriages are not my problems. Some of us just feel that the truth can do so much damage. And being the son of a mother who found out that her life partner- father of her child, childhood sweetheart and best-friend- was in fact gay, I can tell you this from experience. It's not the truth that does the damage, but the lies.



    And No, it's not because as they get older they're less uptight. As they get older, trust is established, and routines are learned. It's just easier to sneak around and get what you want.
     
  8. mephistopheles

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    Men shouldn't wander.

    If you're in a relationship you should only be with the person you're seeing.

    If you want to fuck other people break up.
     
  9. Corius

    Corius New Member

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    As a long-time married man, I have never thought of myself as being "on the prowl" but let me admit right upfront that I have never stopped being aware of other sexually attractive persons, both male and female.

    My first sexual partner was a fifteen year old who, like me, thought of himself as a regular guy. We bonded as more than friends and for two years learned by doing often imagining that our peers were having similar sexual contacts. When he was away on his grandparents' ranch in Montana we rather gave each other permisssion to pursue what we assumed would be our main interest in life sexually: girls! I was fortunate and a summer of sexual
    "communion" with a dear young lady five years older than I rather convinced me that I would end up married some day. That did not happen until after a couple of other male partnerships and another female partner. I have always been a faithful partner. Indeed, I can say of all my former partners that I loved them then and that love continues--we just no longer have sex.

    I seek out and need the friendship of other men. I have many such friends but two stand out because there is a chemistry between me and each of them that would surely end in sexual activity were we not restrained by our own consciences and the restraints of our society. We know and understand each other's situation and I am sure that each of them is complimented in knowing that he is sexually attractive to me as I am complimented in knowing that were we free to act we would probably be sexual partners.

    One cannot prescribe for others. For me, it is important that I not deny my fundamental attraction to men. I know that my brain is my most important organ of sex. And, in my fantasy life I have bedded just about all of them. Yes, I do miss the physical side of it. I like the touch of a man's body and have always been grateful that I discovered that "other side" of my sexuality and gave myself permission to pursue sexual intimacy with males.

    So, to the OP I would say that it is possible that i would be on the prowl for you if I found you sexually attractive, but today that would all happen in my mind. I would hope that in real life that would not prevent us from becoming good friends who continue to harbor secret sexual designs on each other. We continue to discover more of the beautry and the mystery of human sexuality without causing trouble for ourselves or others. That may not be the perfect world we think we desire, but, for the present it makes for pleasant living.
     
  10. NEWREBA

    NEWREBA New Member

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    I was in a relationship with a boy in my senior year of high school. He was the sweetest, sexiest, funny, and attractive guy I'd met in my life at that point. He was athletic and smart at the same time. Right around graduation from high school he started to become distant and distracted. I thought maybe he was having some anxiety about going to college. Actually what happened was that he had met a guy who was an exchange student from Italy. To make a long story short he fell in love with this other boy and they went off to Europe together. I was heart-broken but never knew what actually happened until recently. I wish he had come to me and let me know what was up. It took him two years to tell me the truth about this other guy and that they had fallen in love. I suppose that for many different reasons men cannot tell their female partners what they're feeling. It was a terrible hardship on me. I couldn't understand his actions or motivations. Very painful for we women.
     
  11. DV8

    DV8
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    I am so sorry. From time to time, I like to get stoned. And when I do, I like to reflect on myself- who I am, what I've done, and where I'm from... and I think of my parents, and what it was like for them. What my dad did to my mom- finding him with her cousin (male). I was 2 years-old. She told him to stay out of her life, and mine. He didn't come back in until he was on his death bed, she had found forgiveness. I was 14. As a gay male, there are so many questions that I have that only he could answer. My mom told me a few months ago that it wasn't fair that she kept me from him. But the pain she endured, I can understand. I love her and I forgive her. Like I said- the pain is not in the truth, but in the lies and the secrets.
     
    #11 DV8, Jun 28, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2010
  12. nakedone

    nakedone New Member

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    Someone made the comment that men who are married and seek sexual adventures with other men are bisexual. I believe that ALL men are bisexual, to some degree, and it is usually after several years of marriage, and a sex-life that becomes routine, or even nonexistent, that they begiin to explore their "other" side.

    There is a small "club" in a nearby city where men go to have sex with other men. Nearly all the men who visit there are married, and not hesitant to admit that they are. They do not see their extra-marital activities with other men as anything that detracts from the marriage.

    The other thing I have learned about these men is that they would enjoy sharing their wives with other men, but their wives will not participate in such activity. So, by meeting with other men and jacking-off together, even sucking the cocks of other men, they are able to fantasize about these men fucking their wives.

    The whole sexual picture for many married men is filled with fucking their wives, masturbating, including with other men, and fantasies about sharing their wives' pussies with other men. It is a complex picture.
     
  13. hungthickone

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    right on the mark, how insightful Corius
     
  14. CUBE

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    I see married guys do this tons. I don't know what it is but if I am at a gym or spa these guys make a bee line to me. I always think they feel like I wouldn't hit them if they read me wrong. I think many are a little bi, some looking for adventure, some in the closet...whatever. I just think they are horny and feel because they are married...labels don't fit them.
     
  15. B_talltpaguy

    B_talltpaguy New Member

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    The answer is clear... Nearly everyone likes big dick.

    lololol
     
  16. blooeyz

    blooeyz New Member

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    I think everyone likes to have someone else make them cum, sometimes it really doesn't matter who.
     
  17. B_quietguy

    B_quietguy New Member

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    How many of these married/attached men are doing it with consent from their partners?

    My rule for getting involved with anybody who has a partner is "If I don't hear the consent directly from your partner's lips, then no sex."
     
  18. mke75

    mke75 New Member

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    I don't care if they are married or in a relationship. That's none of my business. It's just sex. If I was looking for a relationship then I would ask I guess. But as long as we hit it off it's game on.
     
  19. mj21045

    mj21045 Member

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    I think the internet has helped men in general explore all aspects of sex. Those men who might have had some thoughts or feelings when they were younger (20, 30, 40 years ago) are now able to go on the internet and explore and if they are brave enough, experiment.

    I don't judge anyone who chooses to explore their "other side". My only concern is that they are safe in their actions and don't bring home diseases to their partners.
     
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