Married Woman Situation

D_Sir Dancealot

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hungnate said:
Hi everyone. I've been a lurker here on and off and I've got an issue I'm dealing with. I'm 23 and this year I've started to discover the joys of older women. This last situation is great but I'm not sure about it. I met this woman about a month ago at my job (she's a customer). We haven't spend much time together but last week we hopped into bed. Had some great sex and all but then before she left my place she told me she's married. I'm kind of torn on this. On one hand I don't want to be a homewrecker or anything. The other side of it is I'm not the one doing the cheating and shouldn't I let her decide who she wants to fuck? I admit it's hard for me to look at it clear. She's 35 with a serious hardbody. I mean really toned. The other thing is, and this is what first got me thinking about posting on this site, is I'm about 8 inches and not every woman thinks that's great but she went out of her way to say she loves my size. I was pretty turned on by that and I asked her how big her husband is and she says I'm probably 3 inches longer than her husband. That was another turnon for me but it doesn't change the situation. Anyway I don't know anything about the guy like if he cheats or if he's the perfect husband or whatever. Either way, she told me she wants to get together again and I told her sure but now I can't stop thinking about this. On one hand I think maybe I should bail and on the other hand like I said she's got a serious body on her and I'm thinking I should just let her make her choice and go for it. Anyway whatever you guys 'n gals think, lay it on me. Thanks.


Go for it and have fun! But dont get caught. Keep up with the running classes........
 

Lordpendragon

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The Anglo Saxons would grant women a divorce if the husband had bad breath or couldn't get it up amongst other things. The man had to undergo a public renouncement of the accusation if he wished to remain married. Christians added God to marriage, and as someone once said a marriage is difficult when there's three in the relationship.
 

B_hungnate

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Thanks everyone for your replies. Honestly I never even thought about maybe they have an open marriage. I just assumed if they're married she must be going behind his back. Really we weren't talking about the whole marriage thing that long and she didn't actually say she was going behind his back. I mean, if it's OK that would be great but I don't want to get my hopes up because that seems like a longshot. In any case we're meeting tomorrow and I think I'm gonna ask her about it, and if she's going behind his back I'm not sure but I think I'm just gonna end it. You guys are right it's a lot of hassle. I mean so far it's really just a sex thing with us and she's totally hot and a great lay but I've got a brain too and I'm leaning towards thinking it's not worth the complication. Plus I'm not sure where I stand on the moral issue but it just feels weird so like I said I think if she's going behind his back I've gotta bail.
And Honkysladder, thanks for the encouragement. Actually I didn't mean to suggest I haven't found women who like my size. Actually most women I've been with react positively. It's true that the last girl I was with is kind of petite and she had trouble which was frustrating but overall my size is is a positive not a negative I think. You're right, guys who are like 10 in. might have it rough.
 

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I know it's hard to give up good sex but my guess in this case it sounds like a good decision. My guess is you'll feel better once you've moved on. Just keep in mind what Surfergirl said. If this woman is lying to her husband we already know she lies. So if she wants sex with you there's always a chance she might lie to get it. So if she says she's "allowed" to cheat or her husband knows you might want to take that with a grain of salt. Good luck!

hungnate said:
Thanks everyone for your replies. Honestly I never even thought about maybe they have an open marriage. I just assumed if they're married she must be going behind his back. Really we weren't talking about the whole marriage thing that long and she didn't actually say she was going behind his back. I mean, if it's OK that would be great but I don't want to get my hopes up because that seems like a longshot. In any case we're meeting tomorrow and I think I'm gonna ask her about it, and if she's going behind his back I'm not sure but I think I'm just gonna end it. You guys are right it's a lot of hassle. I mean so far it's really just a sex thing with us and she's totally hot and a great lay but I've got a brain too and I'm leaning towards thinking it's not worth the complication. Plus I'm not sure where I stand on the moral issue but it just feels weird so like I said I think if she's going behind his back I've gotta bail.
And Honkysladder, thanks for the encouragement. Actually I didn't mean to suggest I haven't found women who like my size. Actually most women I've been with react positively. It's true that the last girl I was with is kind of petite and she had trouble which was frustrating but overall my size is is a positive not a negative I think. You're right, guys who are like 10 in. might have it rough.
 

SurferGirlCA

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stud_hunter said:
I know it's hard to give up good sex but my guess in this case it sounds like a good decision. My guess is you'll feel better once you've moved on. Just keep in mind what Surfergirl said. If this woman is lying to her husband we already know she lies. So if she wants sex with you there's always a chance she might lie to get it. So if she says she's "allowed" to cheat or her husband knows you might want to take that with a grain of salt. Good luck!
Mehhhhh, stud_hunter next you'll be telling me not to believe the guy who told me he just wears a wedding band because he gets more action that way. :rolleyes:
 

stud_hunter

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SurferGirlCA said:
Mehhhhh, stud_hunter next you'll be telling me not to believe the guy who told me he just wears a wedding band because he gets more action that way. :rolleyes:

Now why would you say that?:rolleyes: . I suppose if someone is willing to lie to get what they want, that's something worth keeping in mind about them.
PS. I have heard from a couple guys that the wedding band thing works. Isn't that sad?
 

jeff black

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stud_hunter said:
Now why would you say that?:rolleyes: . I suppose if someone is willing to lie to get what they want, that's something worth keeping in mind about them.
PS. I have heard from a couple guys that the wedding band thing works. Isn't that sad?

Women can be such sluts.:rolleyes: (men too)
 

yhtang

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hungnate said:
Thanks everyone for your replies. ...<snipped>...... In any case we're meeting tomorrow and I think I'm gonna ask her about it, and if she's going behind his back I'm not sure but I think I'm just gonna end it ....<snipped>...

I wish you all the best for your coming meeting.

If it is not too much of an invasion of your privacy, keep us informed... I am sure many of us are concerned for you and your situation.
 

B_chinagirl73

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Linda Sizequeen said:
Here's another way to think about it.....perhaps she's a woman who thinks for herself and fucks whomever she wants? Why do men and husbands always have to be involved or making the moral choices for us? Just a thought.........

So true Linda. I find the responses in here unbelievably conservative. Life is so rich and complicated and women cheat for all kinds of reasons. I think anybody, guys and girls should just go for it.

Hell, I have friends who would laugh if they saw this thread. Like a guy i know who will ONLY fuck married women. He still has his gorgeous 8" dick, and he is weird and kinky...but in the end the world is a richer, more exotic place for his existence!
 

transformer_99

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chinagirl73 said:
So true Linda. I find the responses in here unbelievably conservative. Life is so rich and complicated and women cheat for all kinds of reasons. I think anybody, guys and girls should just go for it.

Hell, I have friends who would laugh if they saw this thread. Like a guy i know who will ONLY fuck married women. He still has his gorgeous 8" dick, and he is weird and kinky...but in the end the world is a richer, more exotic place for his existence!
Unbelievably conservative ? I know of two incidences of cheating where I got a front row seat as knowing the married couple personally. The first, a husband I know of cheated on his wife with a female co-worker. The other's involved were a married couple as well and the other husband's family business is operating a funeral home. That husband is serving time for murder, he killed his cheating wife and boxed her up in a coffin and shipped it across a US State border, as he had access to them as a funeral home business would. Now, that in mind, the murder was unresolved for a lengthy time as the wife was missing, the family of those that were simply burying a loved one in another state, now had to be involved in the exhumation process. In the mean time, the cheating husband in the first married relationship I described wound up in the newspapers, had to get a lawyer, had to entertain homicide detectives and you might get the picture of how messy and embarassing to say the least this was. Not to mention perhaps enduring being a suspect of foul play in the missing person aspect of the case. And by the way, homicide detectives have their job to do, they'll show up at where you work and grill you about what happened. They aren't concerned that you have a career or a life outside of the case they are required to solve. And they'll make as many trips as necesary to get to the bottom of it all, regardless of how disruptive it is to any one that works there.

Second incident of cheating, less drama, yet still an uncomfortable position, about 5 years later the wife that was cheated on, gets even and has her affair, with yet another co-worker, who happens to be married as well. Well the original cheating husband wakes up one Saturday AM to face a hysterically pissed off woman, who informs him that her husband is cheating on her, with his wife.

So by my tally, the couple I know, are divorced. The other married couples, well from the 1st incident, one person is incarcerated for life, one is dead and the other two from the 2nd incident, divorced as well.

So by all means, guys and girls go for it. Chinagirl73 has given you a blessing, the green light, the experience of fucking an 8" penis and having an orgasm or two or more appropraitely in this case, sex with a 35 year old married woman, is certainly worth the risk/potential of all of this potential misery. She even has friends that find these type of situations rather humorous. In the first incident I described, yes that might be a worst case scenario, but pick up your local newspaper, there are more like it. It's not as uncommon as anyone might think. And if you really look at marriage, the whole concept is conservative, so these people doing these things are typically conservative. Some marriages are seen as unspoken ownership to one another, thus the words, "til death do us part". It's a pact to be a team and when one wants out, the other may not like the idea of it too much. Then there are those cheating incidents that obviously are less risky. But conservative or aggressively pursue this and the potential is out there. If your marriage or anything else for that matter means very little to you, by all means have at it. I'm just saying, people do get what they get though, you know.
 

B_chinagirl73

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Well, Transformer, what can I say? There are always a million reasons why we can't do this or that. We all live in a cage of our own choosing! The things you WON'T do if you think like that!

Perhaps because I am an atheist I tend to think we are all going to die one day anyway, so we might as well go out and get it.

By the way, I never once cheated when I was in relationships (some sort of inbuilt morality chip!), but I have certainly fucked a lot of married guys as a single. That is their choice so far as I am concerned. And its just nature - it is really not so complicated.

On the violence issue, well there is plenty of violence with or without infidelity. I have a good female friend now dead from a murder/suicide executed by her husband.

Not to mention car accidents, cancer and the rest!
 

transformer_99

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chinagirl73 said:
Well, Transformer, what can I say? There are always a million reasons why we can't do this or that. We all live in a cage of our own choosing! The things you WON'T do if you think like that!

Perhaps because I am an atheist I tend to think we are all going to die one day anyway, so we might as well go out and get it.

By the way, I never once cheated when I was in relationships (some sort of inbuilt morality chip!), but I have certainly fucked a lot of married guys as a single. That is their choice so far as I am concerned. And its just nature - it is really not so complicated.

On the violence issue, well there is plenty of violence with or without infidelity. I have a good female friend now dead from a murder/suicide executed by her husband.

Not to mention car accidents, cancer and the rest!

You don't have to be an atheist to hold that theory, it's a fact, we all die sooner or later and there are some things we do and don't do. But for my 15 minutes of fame, I surely don't want it to be that I was done in because I was involved in cheating somehow. That really would be cheating myself out of better in life. There are so many hot and ripe single people to choose from, sampling another's husband or wife is just stupidity, especially not being able to predict how anyone will react. Then again, I also know of a woman that cheated on her boyfriend, not even married at the time, she gets around on crutches and has been for the better part of the last couple of decades, partially crippled from being shot as the bullet lodged in her spinal cord. It would be nice if it was as clean as you say, sometimes it's just not.

And as for not being involved, let's really do the math on the cost to society for the mistakes, how many unwanted pregnancies, how many divorces, what do you think is the markup on products each of us buys for all the infidelity out there. Well certainly I'm not naive enough to think that when a judge orders alimony, child support and so on, that those in a position to raise a price to pay for this don't pass it on to the rest of us as consumers. It's one thing if one wants to sample that 8 incher on their own dime, but pass the buck onto the rest of us, I certainly don't want to fund that. In America, welfare is a major issue, it is anywhere else on this planet too. I hate to sound like a stick in the mud and I genuinely want everyone to be happy, but there comes a point where the rest of us somehow, someway become involved in mistakes of poor judgement. Simply explaining it away as nature is irresponsible with no accountability. We all have to face some level of accountability and responsibility for our actions. Accidents don't happen, the laws of nature and physics is cause and effect. There is a lot to be said for control and restraint. Playing within yourself so to speak.

I noticed you posted automobile accidents, there is no such thing, it's a collision pure and simple and it's occurence is hardly accidental.

http://www.answers.com/topic/accident

next time anyone rubbernecks a collision, think about all the fuel wasted, time wasted. Think about what could've been done to prevent the collision. Somebody didn't allow time and space and wasn't doing what it takes to operate a motor vehicle safely, and the rest of us pay the price. I spend hours each day on a highway because of this. I pay higher insurance premiums to cover this risk as a shared pool, hardly accidental and fortunate for me, I learned my lesson once and haven't had a collision of my causing since that first and only.
 

B_hungnate

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yhtang said:
I wish you all the best for your coming meeting.

If it is not too much of an invasion of your privacy, keep us informed... I am sure many of us are concerned for you and your situation.

Well thanks. Yeah I got together with her today and you could say it was a bumpy ride. I asked her about her husband and she said a bunch of stuff like they got married too quick and it probably wasn't a good idea because the passion went out of it after a few months and the sex doesn't do it for her and all that. She said they both know the other does their own thing on the side but she's not rushing to divorce because she says things might work out. We were talking about the marriage issue for not too long when things started getting friendly and I guess I have a weak spot for fine women coming onto me because before our discussion got too far we were in bed. Maybe that was a bad idea but yeah, we had sex again and the sex was great but in the end it just felt too weird so before she left I ended it. She kept saying they both know the other one fools around but in the end I got her to admit they never really talked about an open marriage or anything. So I don't need a soap opera so that's that. When she left she was kinda pissed which I gotta admit made me feel pretty good not because she was mad but it's nice to know you satisfied the woman, you know? I think that's what made it so hard to turn her down because she really lays it on thick with the compliments, like the sex is so good, she loves my size and all that. I went out with a couple of friends tonight and when I get home I had an email from her that was saying she understood where I'm coming from and she hopes we'll stay in touch. And this woman is a trip, because on the email she attached a photo of her in a sweet tanktop. I know she's done some smalltime modeling and it looks like a professional photo. Anyway it's all been a wild ride but I'm pretty much done with it. I wrote her back saying if she gets separated or something to give me a call. But for now I'm just movin' on. So there it is.
 

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Hey Nate,

Well, ultimately it was about what was right for you. It sounds like you weighed your options and made the choice that felt best. If you do that in life, even if you have moments of regret here and there, never betraying your own conscience is what will keep you grounded in the long run. Here's to you finding a hot, available woman who will also do all those nice things for you. Good luck! :smile:
 

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hungnate said:
Well thanks. Yeah I got together with her today and you could say it was a bumpy ride. I asked her about her husband and she said a bunch of stuff like they got married too quick and it probably wasn't a good idea because the passion went out of it after a few months and the sex doesn't do it for her and all that. She said they both know the other does their own thing on the side but she's not rushing to divorce because she says things might work out. We were talking about the marriage issue for not too long when things started getting friendly and I guess I have a weak spot for fine women coming onto me because before our discussion got too far we were in bed. Maybe that was a bad idea but yeah, we had sex again and the sex was great but in the end it just felt too weird so before she left I ended it. She kept saying they both know the other one fools around but in the end I got her to admit they never really talked about an open marriage or anything. So I don't need a soap opera so that's that. When she left she was kinda pissed which I gotta admit made me feel pretty good not because she was mad but it's nice to know you satisfied the woman, you know? I think that's what made it so hard to turn her down because she really lays it on thick with the compliments, like the sex is so good, she loves my size and all that. I went out with a couple of friends tonight and when I get home I had an email from her that was saying she understood where I'm coming from and she hopes we'll stay in touch. And this woman is a trip, because on the email she attached a photo of her in a sweet tanktop. I know she's done some smalltime modeling and it looks like a professional photo. Anyway it's all been a wild ride but I'm pretty much done with it. I wrote her back saying if she gets separated or something to give me a call. But for now I'm just movin' on. So there it is.

Wow, you saw her game at it's most pathetic best. Lie after lie, culminating in anger and then the damage control email. You gave her a choice, if the marriage is so miserable, get out of it and pursue her happiness. It'll be interesting to see that unfold and whether or not she was kicked to the curb or ends it on her own decision and actions ?
 

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transformer_99 said:
Wow, you saw her game at it's most pathetic best. Lie after lie, culminating in anger and then the damage control email. You gave her a choice, if the marriage is so miserable, get out of it and pursue her happiness. It'll be interesting to see that unfold and whether or not she was kicked to the curb or ends it on her own decision and actions ?

That's the bottom line. That's what I don't get with alll the people saying go for it and there's no problem with what she's doing. I don't think there's anything at all wrong with having multiple partners, but if she's going to do what she's doing why stay in the marriage? It's the lying part I don't understand, unless she's staying married for money which some women do which is sad.

Anyway it sounds like you feel good about your decision so I say good job. Although you said she comes into your work a loT so will you still be seeing her that way? Also the photo she emailed you sounds to me like a "just remember what you're missing" message. Just remember to stand your ground if this decision is what you want. Good luck!
 

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SurferGirlCA said:
Well, ultimately it was about what was right for you. It sounds like you weighed your options and made the choice that felt best. If you do that in life, even if you have moments of regret here and there, never betraying your own conscience is what will keep you grounded in the long run. Here's to you finding a hot, available woman who will also do all those nice things for you. Good luck! :smile:

I could not have said it any better.

May all go well with you after this experience, hungnate. Plenty of flowers in the field, just be patient.